complexities of a deranged individual.

"did you hear what i said? i said my left nut, which just happens to be my favorite nut."

2006-10-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

I had no intention to clock in another entry for the month of October, but the last two days have been overflowing with drama. I cannot resist.

We start off on Sunday night, with well-wishes from concerned parties over my last entry. I apologise for my emo-trip down memory lane. Anyways, Monday morning rolled around and I was hella stoned. So, for the better part of the morning, I just roamed around like a zombie. After breakfast, I was about to take off for Tekong when MISTER OHK (coming back from *his* breakfast with some of the bigwigs of AFC) stopped me in the middle of the road and demanded to know where I was going, and why I had no bags on me. After stumping him with my direct answer, Branch Head informed me that he was going to leave for Selarang Camp at around 1130 and thus offered me a ride to SFT. Being how I'm not a moron, I took Branch Head up on his offer. This opened the door for MISTER OHK to swoop in (after several moments of standing around like a dumbass) and start badgering me with all sorts of questions.

At the top of his list, was him wanting to know why I simply left the X-Ray on his table. I reminded OHK that *he* told me he wanted to see the fucking X-Ray. OHK then countered by stating he wasn't a doctor -- I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED OTHERWISE DUH LOL -- and that he couldn't make any sense out of my X-Ray. Long story short, I told him I'd get the damn thing reviewed by the Medical Center as soon as possible. After that, the fat bastard wanted me to round up the members of next year's Night Activity Committee for a meeting the next day. He insisted on a few personnel changes, and also blackmailed me into being on the fucking committee. Sodding hell. At any rate, 1130 soon rolled around, and I was on my way out of PLC with Branch Head driving a little too scarily for my tastes.

The drive down to SFT was not a boring one. Branch Head revealed some incredibly hilarious idiosyncrasies in his behaviour, and also asked a lot of revealing questions about what is going on in CCTW. He even asked what I didn't like about the job. Again, I'm not an idiot; I know an opportunity when I see it, and therefore I seized this one to plant some seeds. Branch Head is a nice and practical guy. He may be a little bit psycho at times with his train of thought, but a nice guy nonetheless. I thanked him profusely as we finally reached SFT and less than a minute later, I met my junior Marcus at SFT as he was booking out. Seems that he got in a tiny bit of trouble last week over some of the rules he laid down during his lesson, and he had to go back to AFC to talk to MISTER OHK. I assured him that MISTER OHK is a jackass and that nothing would happen to him before I boarded the ferry. Onward to Tekong! Only had two lessons yesterday afternoon, but since the days of booking out at 1500 are long gone, the four of us (me + Alex + Thiban + Robin) decided to book out at 1600. Just to play safe, you know.

This is where it gets interesting. At about 1540, MISTER OHK called me. He was adamant to know where I was. After telling him I was in Tekong, he doubted the validity of the fact that we had lessons in Tekong. WHAT A TOOL. I already told him in the morning I was going to Tekong, and the lessons were listed in the fucking weekly schedule. What was there to doubt? Anyways, he wanted us to call him from the TFT guardroom to pretty much make sure whoever was supposed to be in Tekong were indeed present. Good thing we decided to stick around, eh? A couple of minutes later, the four of us headed to the guardroom and I duly called the old coot. Unfortunately for us, the fucker told me to call him later. Bloody hell. Seeing how we had no choice and almost an hour to kill, we headed to the canteen to eat.

About 45 minutes later, we headed back to the guardroom. We were seriously hoping that the fat fuck wouldn't screw us. After asking permission to enter the guardroom, I again was the one who made with the dialing. However, after getting through, OHK didn't seem able to hear me properly (or he was feigning being deaf). A couple of seconds later, he hung up. Just like that. So, I decided to call him again. I was stopped, though, when the CAMP COMMANDANT OF BMTC (Col. Lee) stormed the guardroom and demanded to know why the four of us were in the guardroom since we were clearly not guards. Alex and I tried to explain to him that we were CCIs trying to contact our boss as per his instructions. In response, Col. Lee asked us who the fuck was OHK. It was a scary and great moment. Several minutes of interrogation ensued, before the RSM of BMTC came out to update Col. Lee of the situation involving us CCIs needing to call our moronic boss before we booked out. Suffice to say, Col. Lee didn't really think much of MISTER OHK and his management techniques (or lack thereof). At the end of the day, he calmed down and simply told us not to enter the guardroom ever again unless we happened to be summoned to do so. Alex, Robin, Thiban and I then walked into the ferry with Col. Lee and as I took my seat, OHK called me. He wanted to ask where we were at that moment, since he couldn't hear me properly when I called him several minutes ago. I told him what had happened, leaving out the fact that Col. Lee fucked us and demanded a letter of apology from him for letting his men abuse the guardroom like big shots. OHK was satisfied with what I had told him, and told us he'd be conducting regular checks on the Tekong Team from now on.

You would think that the above-mentioned would have satisfied the quota of the amount of drama one person can have in a single day. You would be wrong. At night, I was making my way back to PLC for stay-in, all the while thinking about my IPPT on Thursday. Reaching Lavender, the train stalled for a minute. The train operator informed us passengers that due to an incident further ahead, there would be some delays. I thought nothing of it at first. Oh, how foolish I was. The bloody same thing happened at Raffles Place and Redhill. Finally, upon arriving at Queenstown, I noticed that there were A LOT OF PEOPLE just standing around at the West-bound platform. Then, the train operator told us to get the fuck out of the train as the train would no longer be in service, due to an incident at Clementi MRT Station. And so, I waited.

For about 20 fucking minutes, as four more trains arrived at Queenstown and passengers from all four trains were forced out. It was insane. Finally, the fifth train came by.... and surprisingly, the passengers of that train remained where they were. Naturally, myself and the other rejects thought whatever the hell happened at Clementi had been resolved, so we entered this fifth train. After one minute of waiting around, the lights of the train went out, and everybody was told once again to fuck off. I was bloody pissed, and made my frustrations known with an audible expletive utterance. I was made to wait ten more minutes before West-bound train services was resumed. And as I finally reached Clementi, my interest was piqued: tons of policemen and Civil Defense personnel were crawling all over, with yellow-tape cordoning off a large section of the West-bound platform. The other passengers on the train immediately thought that there was an alleged bomb threat earlier on. My curiousity in this matter waned as we left Clementi, mainly because I realised that if I wanted to get some grub before heading back to camp, I could quite possibly be late for the roll-call at 2200. Thankfully, nothing else happened after Clementi and I was able to both purchase food and make it back to AFC on time to regale the rest on the frantic day I'd had.

Tuesday morning was tiring. Instead of a simple run for the LIFE Activity, I was forced to partake in three sets of circuit training. What irked me was the regulars fleeing the scene moments before the madness began. Bloody hell, they are supposed to set the example for us, yet they have the balls to preach to us about the dangers of shirking from our responsibilities. Fucking bullshit hypocrisy. Whatever. After the circuit training, I lay in wait for OHK's afternoon meeting with the Night Activity Committee. I was able to secure two mornings off (one for tomorrow and one for Friday), which meant I didn't have to stay in tonight. The rest of the morning moved along slowly, until OHK appeared and demanded his regulars to prepare for an important meeting regarding CCTW affairs. They disappeared for two hours, and showed up only after lunch. This didn't bode well for me, since I figured the fat fuck would delay the committee meeting until late-afternoon. After he disappeared for lunch at around 1400, Azfar and I decided to head to the Medical Centre: he wanted to submit his recommendation for downgrading letter, and I needed to get my X-Rays checked out.

What followed was nearly three hours being cooped up at the Medical Centre, being bored and just goofing off with Azfar. I effectively missed the stupid meeting, and got my X-Ray checked out at the same time. WHOO. I was informed that my X-Ray showed no sign of anything major and thus results were inconclusive. Therefore, I now have an appointment with a specialist in December. Azfar's downgrading plans were dashed, and he too now has to see the specialist. Headed back to AFC at around 1715, told OHK what my medical situation was, and I was on the way home less than 30 minutes later.

Whew. Been a crazy couple of days, eh? Now, I have a date with destiny this Thursday. It's time to take my IPPT. Tomorrow night could be my last night staying in. I say could, because something bad might happen. The question now is -- do I have what it takes to pass my IPPT?

The answer, alas, is not known to me now. Good thing or bad thing? I don't know. Which, quite honestly, really frightens me.

OUT.

"we're nothing. we come from dirt. we go back into the dirt."

2006-10-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

So, the big 23rd birthday has finally stopped beckoning for it has arrived, and is actually on its way out. And as I suspected, the actual day itself has been rather unremarkable. Usually for me, it's the days leading up to the day that prove to be note-worthy, and this year was no exception. I of course can't complain about much. In reality, I have it made.

I have parents who are willing to shell out a couple of thousand of dollars to buy a 42-inch plasma television (HD enabled), just for the simple fact that it's my birthday. This is by far the most expensive birthday present I have ever received (notwithstanding the fact that I actually got it two weeks in advance). Looking at it now, I am reminded of how much my parents have done and sacrificed for me. The plasma television is merely a symbol of their actions for me the past 23 years. The sacrifices they have made to get me to where I am today are what I cherish the most. Unfortunately, even these sacrifices have not helped me escape the insanity I currently face as a result of WHERE I am today, and where I will be for the next 10 months or so.

I know, it's cliched -- blaming the Army for my troubles. It is certainly a broken record, by all accounts. However, as I dug a little deeper, I realised that there is only one person to blame for my current manic depressive state. Myself. My parents have worked their collective butts off to support me all the way, and what have I to show for all that? Nothing worth bragging about. The truth is, I have had a million chances to make my life a little better and I have not pounced on one. Why? That is not important; the amalgam of reasons can simply be surmised as not knowing I had an opportunity until it was too late. It doesn't change the fact that I have bungled to where I am today, and I currently sit here loathing so many aspects of my farce of an existence because of these missed chances.

After enjoying my birthday cake and receiving well-wishes from friends, I sat down to clean out one of my cupboards in search of a little black book. This little black book had a story idea I'd first developed about a year ago while I was still struggling to survive BMT in Tekong. I didn't find the book, but I found most of my learning aids and notebooks from when I was studying in SHATEC. I picked up one of the smaller notebooks, and came across several pages of extreme interest. That's when I flashbacked to one particular relationship I had with a certain someone whilst in SHATEC. One thing lead to another, and I found myself reading material that eventually altered -- dramatically and significantly -- the face of said relationship. Taking into account everything that occurred after the infamous August of 2003 (which is when the massive reconstruction of the relationship I'm talking about now), I've always thought that the other party was the one that messed it up, and that it would have all been so much easier if I hadn't developed any sort of feelings whatsoever for this other party to begin with.

Tonight, I've had an epiphany. It has all become so clear. I was the one who dropped the ball. I was the one who fucking screwed the whole relationship. Me developing feelings for her was not an accident. It was supposed to happen. The initial roadblocks and obstacles that followed were all meant to make me appreciate the fact that this other party was supposed to be the one that would bring balance to my life, and present the sole driving force for my success in the future. Instead, I let things spiral dangerously out of control, and the personality she developed towards me was all a result of my inability to take advantage of a gift. Now, she will forever, always and truly, be... the one that got away.

Now, I'm 23 and have very little to show for my journeys in this world thus far. This year has not turned out the way I hoped it would. What's the plan now? To be frank, I have not a fucking clue. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to go about doing something about not knowing what to do. I just have no idea at all. In fact, I have no desire to do anything remotely grand to change it around. I'm on a downward slide towards the bottom of the barrel, and all I'm really interested in is praying I get there quickly. Because once I hit bottom, there's nothing more to lose.

And as much as I want to, the memories about the one that got away will always be etched in my mind. Until someone else comes along and blows me away like the way SHE did, and I actually take advantage of the situation. The scary thing is, I don't think I can last that long.

I'm getting weaker by the day. I need someone... to rescue me.

OUT.

"if what worked? my dick?"

2006-10-08T02:50:00.000+08:00

Man, I'm quite hammered. I felt like society's outcast when I woke up yesterday at about SIX IN THE FRAKKING MORNING, mainly because of the damned flu. Spent most of the day being wide-eyed and lazy (after going to Tekong for a lesson in the morning), before finally descending into a drunken haze after awakening from my afternoon siesta. I almost never get intoxicated, but I suppose downing four bottles of hard vodka and two bottles of bourbon whiskey over the course of two hours -- after having not consumed alcohol for some time now -- will have an effect. Surprisingly, I'm still able to type properly. WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE?

Apparently, not. For those of you Singaporeans familiar with the current entertainment scene, you will realise that the latest season of the hit reality show, Survivor, is steeped in controversy. Why? Survivor: Cook Islands has a brand new gimmick to it, where the four tribes are segregated by ethnicities. You've got the Asian/Oriental tribe, you've got the Hispanics, the Blacks/Negroes, and the KuKluxKlan/WHITEPOWER/Caucasians as the last tribe. The great racial divide, it has been termed. Intriguing, non? Yes, but the plot just gets thicker from here, people.

Because, for those of you who are also familiar with the current LOCAL entertainment scene... you will have discovered that MediaCorp have decided against airing Survivor: Cook Islands due to the racial segregation theme. For the first time since the inaugural season, we Singaporeans won't get to watch the show via live satellite broadcasting. And, by my count, Survivor has had 12 seasons already. MediaCorp's decision not to air the current season of the show has sparked a bit of an uproar. I say 'a bit', primarily due to the fact that I don't really hear that many people complaining. Which is odd, because Singaporeans are well-known complain kings. At any rate, I did spot a couple of reader-submitted articles in our local papers regarding this issue five or so days ago, and this one particular article stood out to me. The author of that article (a Singaporean-born Indian like myself should my memory not fail me) made a bunch of very good points, which in turn inspired me to submit an article of my own! Yes, after years of saying I would send something in to the local tabloids and eventually not doing it, I finally sent in my first contribution. Of course, I spared no effort in dousing my article with angst and antagonism, plus several stabs at MediaCorp (as had the author whose article had motivated me to send my own hate-mail).

As expected, my article has not shown up in the tabloids. Quite frankly, I don't expect it to. AND I GAVE MY REAL HANDPHONE NUMBER AND ALL. Psshaw. To be honest, I was actually more excited and relatively giddy over envisioning the editors of the newspapers vehemently protesting against publishing my contribution than actually seeing it in print. I covered several sore spots, expanding on the points touched on by the author whose piece inspired me. Now, I don't actually have the article saved on my computer, but I do recall the gist of my momentous submission. Thus, in the spirit of sharing (I'm quite sloshed so pardon me making up stuff like this), I shall spill the details of my article as best as I can remember them:

* Mentioned that the racial segregation theme was merely a gimmick that the producers of the show cooked up to put a new spin on things. The ratings for Survivor have been steadily declining over the last four seasons, and the producers admitted that this gimmick (they termed it a social experiment but whatever) was merely a plot device.

* Also stated that my good friends in America have reported back to me about the happenings of the first two episodes, surmising that there was been little racial tension than expected. There were, of course, instances where race became an issue in some of the episodes' challenges and such, but nothing to cry wolf over.

* Pointed out that last season's major gimmick (four teams -- young females vs. old females vs. old males vs. young males) was dissolved as quickly as the third episode with the four tribes being merged into two distinctively unspectacular tribes. The gimmick was just there to hook in potential new viewers, and I mentioned my assumption that it would happen again in this current season. EDIT: As of the third episode of Survivor: Cook Islands, the racial segregation of tribes is officially a fucking moot point. Just like I said it would be.

* Raised up the fact that if MediaCorp is so worried about Singaporean viewers being offended by the gimmick of this season's Survivor, they should probably fucking realise the amount of ridiculous racial stereotypes on their local shows. Most of which seem to paint Indians and Malays in an awful light, just because they think it's LOL HAHA ROFL FUNNIE or something.

* Finally mentioned that if the government has green-lighted popular stand-up comedian Russell Peters to perform his comedy act in Singapore (and his act revolves around racial stereotypes that are usually absurd yet comical and heartwarming), there should really be zero problems over something as trivial as racial segregation in a reality show where the producers HAVE BASICALLY FUCKING ADMITTED THAT IT'S A SODDING GIMMICK IN A BRASH ATTEMPT TO BOOST RATINGS AND INTEREST IN THE SOMEWHAT STALE PRODUCT.

I think I made fucking excellent points. Don't you?

OUT.

"you're in the middle of a major shit-storm."

2006-10-02T10:13:00.000+08:00

I've always wondered why I find myself feeling like I've been seperated from normal civilisation. The wonderment doesn't last long, as I realise the answer. For practically most of the last seven to nine years, I've been used. Sure, yeah, I've made some great friendships along the way and all that bullshit. 98% of the time, though, the people I consider pals lose touch with me. Until they need my help. Suddenly, they track me down and chat with me for a while... before cutting to the chase, which is assistance in some form or fashion.

At the current moment, I have loaned a grand sum of two thousand dollars to about six people. It's not the money that I really care about. Small amounts of money, yes; I give more of a damn about five or ten bucks that I lend to someone for lunch or whatever. Loose change like that is what I need to survive daily. Even then, like I said, it's not about the money. It's not even about when I get it back. It's about the fact that four out of the six people I loan money to had not communicated with me for some time before deciding to hit me up for money. I should really start being a major prick and just refuse to help anyone, unless they can promise me a blowjob in compensation. From a girl they know, of course (this scenario is also true if a girl is asking me for help). But anyways, let's pick up my sordid tale of discontent from yesterday:

* So, yes. I was told that I'd be transferred from the East Team to the West Team. Needless to say, I was... terrified. The first time since who knows when that my balls actually shrunk. I was adamant to find out what the reasoning was, but everybody I asked gave me a different fucking answer. This ended up with me losing my cool and storming out of the office, banging doors and such. The whole situation reeked of absolute BULLSHIT. It felt like a fucking slap to my face; for all the work and contributions I made to the Tekong Team, my reward was to be shipped off to the fucking West Team, without any sodding valid reason?

* I had the weekend to chew over that news, and suffice to say, the only damn thing to cool me down was going to an IT fair and blowing some money on much-needed peripherals. My parents recognised I was majorly pissed about something, so my Dad brought me to COMEX and treated me to some stuff. I also purchased (finally) my Creative Zen Vision:M and it felt good. Of course, my PC had returned back to the repair shop because the bloody fan had been making a heck of a boom-boom for several weeks... and thus, added with the shitty news, my weekend ended still pretty sourly. When I booked in on Sunday night and conversed with MISTER OHK during the nightly rollcall, he demanded to know why I'd banged doors on my way out of his office two days prior. I told him, quite succinctly, that I was not happy. He told me to see him the next morning.

* Which I did. He wasn't as unreasonable as he was the previous week, when the news of my transfer was made public knowledge to me, and actually spoke to me in a very civil tone. Still, though, the reasons he offered me failed to placate my rage. They didn't make sense, point blank. When I pressed for a more valid explanation, he quietly threatened me not to make a big deal out of it. There wasn't much I could do. In the process, I found out *why* I was even being transferred to begin with, and when it would happen (with effect from the following week).

* After that waste of time, I had my mock IPPT. The most important part was the running, and I managed to pass. Almost earned a silver timing, but not quite. In the process, my lungs nearly fucking exploded... but hey, I passed. According to AFC folklore, once you pass your mock IPPT, you don't have to stay in. But, my real IPPT was scheduled to take place the next damn day. Kind of stupid, right? Like, I didn't think I would recover fully in time. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a shot.

* Of course, when the next day rolled around, my knees were shot to hell. There was no way I could go for the IPPT and pass. So, I didn't. And went home. MISTER OHK was not happy with that, and informed me that I'd still have to stay in until I passed. Here was the problem: by not going for the IPPT that day, I'd missed the last IPPT for the first-year window. In theory, that sounded good; I'd only have to do the IPPT once again during my second-year window. The bad part was, I'd still have to stay in and my second-year window would only open in the middle of October. HENCE, I decided to just fuck it and stay in. Especially after MISTER OHK passed some good news along to me (somewhat): he was going to fight for me not to me transferred from the East Team, after all.

* Therefore, I continued to stay in. But, I found new & inventive ways to not stay in on certain days. Cheating the system as expertly as humanly possible, anxious to know what my fate was. MISTER OHK explicitly told me a while later that I'd definitely stay in the East Team, but he also mentioned that plans could change. I didn't care; I was relieved. Especially since at the same time, the new Tekong season was starting back up by mid-September. However, MISTER OHK drafted me into the committee for AFC's Quarterly Life Activity / ORD Function. Not only would I have to host the bloody event, I'd be involved in a lot of behind-the-scenes work. There was the promise of a reward in the form of days off, though. Soooo, okay. Whatever.

* Most of September was thereby spent cheating the stay-in system and working on the ORD Function, while also prepping my East Team juniors for life in the East Team. I'm blessed that my Tekong junior is someone who has a solid grasp on his techniques; just need to polish the way he presents and markets BCCT. Yay for me, because this means I can start to relax in Tekong already. Which I have, and will. Because, hey, screw AFC. I was still bitter over the fact that they'd even consider transferring me from East to West. Anyways, MISTER DL was mighty impressed with the way I sold the concept behind BCCT when he came down for a 'training visit'. Funny, because I heard he was the main force behind the idea of transferring me. Bastard.

* The cursed Quarterly Life Activity finally rolled around. As a committee member, I enjoyed some seriously good perks courtesy of MISTER OHK... but damn, there was a hell of a lot of work to be done. And once the big day was over (and those lucky ORD personnel enjoyed their last freaking day of NS), the shit hit the fan. Long story short, MISTER OHK was somewhat humiliated in front of EVERYBODY and he took it out on practically all the instructors around him. Except me. I only got fucked a tiny bit. Eh, whatever. He's a fucking jerk. The fallout from that? Not much; everybody just hated him more for being a colossal prick.

* And my last days of September were spent, once again, cheating the system and teaching in Tekong and being told MISTER OHK lied about getting days off for our hard work on the Life Activity. Motherfucker. Oh, also, I finally got a chance to get back to full-time training again, once I found out when my IPPT would take place.

There, up to speed. That has been my story, in a nutshell, for the last couple of months. The ups, the downs... and the brutal reality of the fact that I still have 11 more months to go. 11 more months in this shit-hole that I once considered my saving grace. 11 more months in a place where you have to play the game from so many different political angles, it's nauseating.

JESUS CHRIST, I need a bloody miracle to get through the next 11 months without losing my fucking sanity. Seriously.

OUT.

"my whole life's a god-damn gamble."

2006-10-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

October, welcome. I have been waiting.

It is with extreme displeasure that I wake up each morning with a sickening migraine. One brought on by the depressing state of my current life. I expected this year to go well, and had high hopes for the ambitions I wished to fulfil. Unfortunately, a myraid of circumstances held together loosely by an unexplainable force has now left me in a creative rut, mentally exhausted and unwilling to shape up. Excluding the occasions where I cheat the system that grinds me down, of course.

The feeling of despair I was experiencing had a hand in me deserting the only outlet of venting I had -- this ol' abode here. In fact, I haven't been expressing myself properly since around mid-July. What exactly has been going on that has me so jaded and dismissive? Simply put, National Service blows the big one. You'd think that the corporate world is the political playground in which one needs to be sneaky to survive. I'm happy to report that the landscape within the SAF is no different. In fact, in some circles (units), the politics gets so bad that the truly bad shit drops on your head a mere second before you realise you're standing in a bad spot. I've underestimated just how awful and petulant NS life is. I guess I've been taking my vocation for granted. Living the easy life sounded easy, until I got so caught up in it that I forgot to deal with the occassional curve-balls. And instead of overcoming these nasty surprises immediately, I fell prey to the harsh reality of the situation and opened the door for more bullshit to ensue.

In a flash? Let's review, from mid-July:

* My caretaker duty for the month of July saw me up until the wee hours of the next morning because apparently interior decoration and renovation is the most important aspect of National Service. Revealing the whole story will just result in me mauling an innocent bystander living in my block, so let's leave it at that.

* Physically, my body decided to cheat me. I failed my first-year IPPT. Know what area I flunked? Running. This despite the fact that I had been going for regular runs at least four or five weeks before my IPPT. The shitty part is, I didn't even want to take my IPPT in late July. But, I didn't know any better. And somehow, I messed up. And that led to me facing my worst fear: staying in at AFC. Which basically means reporting to AFC at night and being in AFC in the mornings for training.

* This of course led to a lot of intense training by the West Team Area IC, who decided to take charge of us stay-in personnel (William and myself from my batch joined the eternal stay-in kings Azri and Esmond) after realising we couldn't be trusted to do our own training. The training we endured was insane. Five days a week, being pushed to our absolute limit, with training regimes that even the PTIs didn't think could help us improve. Meanwhile, I had to travel down to Tekong every morning after training, for lessons. I didn't mind the travelling, actually. It at least meant that after the afternoon lessons in Tekong, I could return home to chill for a while, prior to booking in at night for stay-in.

* Stay-in turned out to be more enjoyable than I thought. What with the ability to play games and watch videos, and get the inside scoop on what the bigwigs within CCTW planned for us weekly. There were the occasions where things didn't go quite my way, but I more or less had certain people under my influence, especially with regards to issues like the allocation of the 64th Batch instructors to their various teams. Or, so I thought.

* Towards the end of August, I was starting to hope that I could clear my IPPT soon. Mainly because the current Tekong 'season' was winding out, which would leave me with fewer opportunities to get out of AFC after training in the morning. Then, this happened. The fallout from that? Nothing too spectacular, unfortunately, in the sense that a major crisis was averted. Which was good, in the grand scheme of things, but bad because I lost a potential power-play. This bit me in the ass on the first day of September. After my dental appointment to Tekong, I headed back to AFC fully prepared to tackle my mock IPPT. If I did well, I'd be able to clear my IPPT the following week and if THAT went well, no more stay-in. Two things happened; first, a very long meeting which suffice to say was boring as fuck and did not allow me to take my mock IPPT. The second thing was more catastrophic. I was informed, in various versions, that I'd be transferred out of the East Team to go to the West Team.

Let me stop here for the day, and mention that if I go any further at this point in time, my head would explode. Remembering the moment when I first head about me getting transferred makes my blood boil, and my state of mind currently is not suited to recall that memory just about now. But hey, engaging stuff nonetheless, right?

Riveting, I'd personally have to say. In that morbid sort of way.

OUT.

"tonight, tonight."

2006-09-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since my last entry.

Not completely my fault. A freaky combination of the lack of time plus Blogger being a bitch and eating up several of my previous entries (they are now resting in piece somewhere in the bowels of cyberspace) and the diminished desire to open up has led to my online therapy outlet resembeling a post-apocalyptic wasteland. So, what am I doing this very second, typing all this out?

Simple. I can't sleep. Why's that? Not so simple. I've been thinking. It's been a while since I opened up, and let the floodgates loose. I've been guilty of bottling up everything inside of me in the past, which in turn has made me appear completely apathetic and anti-social. But for a while there, I thought I turned the corner. For good.

Apparently, I was wrong. So very wrong.

I'm on a downward slide towards that dark place again. Truth be told, it wasn't supposed to be the way it is now. This year was supposed to rock. It was supposed to be the year where I finally took control. Yet, as I'm facing the prospect of turning 23 in slightly over the month, I realise I don't control any-fucking-thing. And I feel sorry for myself. I act like I've got things more or less in check. It's merely a facade. I don't want to appear like such a litte fool, barely aware of the fact that the strings I pull result in nothing beneficial for me. Me, me, me. Does that sound self-centered? Narccistic, even? Selfish? Should I care more for other people, in order for karma to deal me a good hand next time?

But, wait. That tactic didn't work either when I tried it out for, oh, the majority of my existence on this bloody planet. So, what exactly do I need to do? Or is it already pre-destined? Is it, truly and completely, out of my control? Does it mean whatever I do will not matter at all? Sure seems like it. Sure seems like the choices I make has no bearing whatsoever on what happens next in my life.

In which case... why bother? Might as well facilitate the freefall to the bottomless pit, innit?

Does this sound all too familiar? Am I being something of a drama mama? Perhaps.

OCTOBER. Winds of change. I've said enough.

OUT.

"the everlasting gaze."

2006-08-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

It's been an exhausting last couple of days. Ever since I booked into camp on Thursday night, there has been a lot of drama and intrigue in my life coupled with tons and tons of intense frustration. I think I'm too angry for my own good. Can't be helped; certain people bug the ever-living shit out of me.

* I burned the first seven episodes of the first season of Prison Break to a DVD+RW disc, but alas, it was to no avail. I think William's 'sponsored laptop' lacks certain codecs, because the screen flickers constantly while I tried watching the episodes. Guess I'll have to pass it to Azri some other time (there is going to be a camp-wide raid next week apparently so all illegal contraband is advised against). Anyways, since the Prison Break suggested marathon was not going to materialise, the four (Azri, Esmond, Robin the caretaker for the day and myself) of us just slacked and watched television for a while before hitting the sack. William played piang and didn't book in -- he'd been given a time extension, actually, to work on his project... but he decided to just stay at home and book in early next morning instead. Ha. Awesome.

* Friday was a normal day. At first. My stomach felt like it was being yanked in a million different directions, but try as I could... there was to be no waste disposal. Blockage. Ugh. The mandatory LIFE RUN was replaced with an aerobics session involving punches and kicks and all that jazz. I was more concerned about my stomach then anything else, so I just acted like a clown and performed my moves half-heartedly. Once that was that, we returned to AFC to do fuck all. Got my three half-day offs and my dental appointment for next Friday afternoon signed for by MISTER DL (who was already a wee bit miffed at the fact that my Area IC was not doing enough to ensure the bigwigs at BMTC to treat us a little better), then slacked in the CCI Office watching Zoolander. Following which, the majority of us prepared our uniforms for the MASTAR PARADA later that afternoon. Thankfully, we were informed that we would be having a OC Dialogue (a precursor to the CO Dialogue to be held next Friday). And with none of the regulars -- including MISTER DL and MISTER OHK -- absent from the session, we let loose with our complaints. Pay issues, planning incompetency, and more sensible welfare for us CCIs were at the top of the list. I myself brought up several points; the fact that the Area ICs do not appreciate our input for our respective unit's planning, the shambolic allocation of instructors in the East Area, and the insensibility in not giving everyone their own ISAC card to do their work. After the session, the OC mentioned he was going to bring up all our concerns directly to CO in a while, and that CO would address them in due time. Most of us were pleased, but had to rush because we had the MASTAR PARADA to attend. Word was, anybody not having an up-to-standard uniform would be serving extra guard duty. As for myself, I had nothing out of order. In fact, MISTER DL even recommended several people to check out the way the badges were sewn on my uniform. WOW. FOR ONCE, I DIDN'T GET INTO TROUBLE. Many others did, but instead of getting extra guard duty, they escaped with a warning. Great. Perfect. And if my luck can be counted for, I'll probably get fucked the next time they decide to have one of these stupid time-wasters again and I'll be the only one served with extra guard duty. Blah. Once the MASTAR PARADA was done with, we guys had our official Army Half Marathon (AHM) briefing. I was already set to play piang on Sunday, but the fact that we had to report to the Padang/War Memorial at 0615 meant I had a few other people wondering if they should play piang or not. One of them was Robin, with whom I struck a deal. More on this later on.

* For the rest of the afternoon, everybody just did nothing. Mainly because by the time we were done with the MASTAR PARADA, it was already 1630. The programme for next week was already out by the time we got back to the office, and upon one look at it, I detected at least seven mistakes for the East Area. The most critical one being on Monday afternoon. COCKHEAD had put myself, Thiban and Alex at Tekong, for Leopard COY's last lesson. That's fine and dandy, except for the fact that THE THREE OF US WOULD BE CLEARING OUR AHM OFF ON MONDAY SINCE WE WERE ALREADY SLATED TO ATTEND THE EVENT ON SUNDAY! Even if I was going to play piang I'd get a two-day MC from the Polyclinic. I duly went off to tell COCKHEAD about this fatal error, but once I met him, COCKHEAD claimed he had already changed the programme and put both Reuben & Choon Kiat there on Monday afternoon (as they were not going to attend AHM due to guard duty on Saturday). If COCKHEAD claimed he'd already known about it, why wasn't it reflected? Whatever. I was satisfied that he, at least, already knew of the situation. All the other changes were not pressing and I was going to leave it until next week. Still, I was seething over the messed-up programme. Does it take too much effort to proof-read what you plan? It's not NUCLEAR FUCKING PHYSICS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

* Guard duty beckoned. We ordered our dinner at around 1750. While waiting, Robin and I shared our plan to skip Sunday's AHM with a general theme that those doing the Friday guard duty would fall victim to a bout of food poisoning. The response wasn't overly encouraging, but Robin and I were adamant nonetheless that we'd skip the AHM. Before we could even dig in, however, the guard-house called us and forced us to start early. Their treatment of us was very shocking; they fucking needed us to do a service for the camp, yet shoved us around like insignificant dogs. Friday's guard duty has always started at 1900 but simply because some of them wanted to go off earlier than usual, we had to start almost one hour before we were supposed to? Screw that shit. As for the guard duty itself, it was largely unremarkable. I did sentry duty, and the guy doing stand-by-desk with me was this chap from another unit. He was strange. Suffice to say, sentry duty was boring and depressing. Left with some of the guys on Saturday morning, totally spent and ready to cash in on some much-needed sleep.

* On the way home on the train, there was this little boy who annoyed the crap out of me. I lost my cool eventually and berated the kid while grabbing the runt by the collar of his shirt. Naturally, he cried. Fucker. Showered, changed, and rushed off for my tuition gig. History, for Christina. She's getting better; I'll make her an A+ student yet. Decided to scrap my plan to skip the AHM based on Robin saying COCKHEAD doubted the validity of his sickness when he called to report that he had attained a MC from Changi General Hospital. I had come up with a new plan; claim my AHM off on Monday, get a MC to cover Tuesday and Wednesday, and go back to Pasir Laba on Thursday without worrying about having to stay in due to my dental appointment on Friday. Once my genius plan was approved by my brain, I finally drifted off to sleep.

* Having spent yesterday evening mostly slacking around, I headed to the War Memorial early this morning for the bloody AHM. Due to my own confusion, I spent some time at the Padang first, which was a lusterfuck of epic proportions even if I did run into some old friends and had people recognising me due to BCCT. Once I found the AFC contingent and the attendance was taken, several of my seniors decided to play piang and disappeared. I met up with Azri, Ian and Thiban at the start line... and as the clock hit 0800, we sprinted like mad. Not. It was too packed even to jog. So, the four of us decided to walk for a while. After about five minutes, that's when we started to jog. Several minutes later, I decided to seperate from the pack and ran for real. I must say, I actually enjoyed the run. I only stopped once, at the first water-point. Didn't bother stoping at the Milo rest-points, since there were too many people hogging the Milo. Pretty proud of the fact that I finished pretty early. Esmond was right behind me at the finish line, and we rested for a while at the Padang. Started to drizzle, so we figured we'd look for our bags. Bad idea; as we went back to the War Memorial, it started to rain quite heavily. Motherfucker. Only after 10 minutes of hiding under shelter did we find where SQ (he was on status due to a twisted ankle and thus didn't run) relocated all our bags to. Slowly, everybody else made their way back... including those who didn't run and were caught with MISTER OHK. Eventually, after about an hour of doing nothing and going back to the Padang for fucking jack, we were allowed to go off. And off I went, without any goodie bag to speak of but still pleased with my running progress. I only hope this will translate into a good timing for my 2.4KM run.

* Slept for the whole afternoon. Felt fucking ace. Talked to several people online for a while, before bad news settled in. Reuben told me that he would not be able to go to Tekong tomorrow afternoon, as he had a pre-arranged dental appointment. And because of COCKHEAD'S fantastic planning and ability to track where his men are at all times, I THINK I HAVE TO GO TO TEKONG TO TEACH TOMORROW AFTERNOON. ON MY FUCKING DAY OFF! MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT. There's more to this situation than what I just revealed, but it doesn't matter now. This is what it's come to: me having to book into Tekong (which I originally wanted to do so that I could collect my misplaced keys), to teach on my day off. Simply because there's nobody else that can be spared. Whose fault is that? That's the billion-dollar question that I'm going to raise when I go back to PLC this Thursday. It's time to take COCKHEAD down, for good.

* Also, my last four or five (mini-esque) entries refuse to show up. Why? I have no idea. Me thinks I need to purchase a sledgehammer and fly to Blogger's HQ to whoop some candy ass. Any other (cheaper) suggestions?

I'm very tired now. Of everything. Of everyone (nearly). Fucking hell.

OUT.

"i am one."

2006-07-21T10:18:00.000+08:00

I like nudity in movies/television. Especially if the person getting naked is a hot female. Well, fucking DUH. I'm a red-blooded male. And I'm honest. But seriously, sometimes the nudity's got to fit the story. Like it does in Entourage, the newest hit show on HBO which I talked about before. Sometimes, though, people take it a tad bit too far:

Child actress Dakota Fanning will appear in a controversial new movie featuring paedophile scenes.

War of the Worlds star Dakota, 12, has signed up to appear in Hounddog.

The screenplay calls for Fanning's character to be raped in one explicit scene and to appear naked or clad only in "underpants" in several other horrifying moments.

A source close to the film said: "The two taboos in Hollywood are child abuse and the killing of animals.

"In this movie, both things happen." Fanning's mother, Joy, and her Hollywood agent, Cindy Osbrink, see the movie, written and directed by Deborah Kampmeier, as a possible Oscar vehicle for the pint-size star.

But despite Fanning's status as a bankable actress - whose movies, including last year's War of the Worlds have earned more than half a billion dollars since 2001 - the alarming material seems to have scared off potential investors, according to the New York Daily News.

The film charts the life of a girl who is abused and finds solace in the music of Elvis Presley.

Fanning's carefully choreographed rape scene has already been filmed. But then the production - which also stars Robin Wright Penn, David Morse and Piper Laurie - was stopped because of a lack of money.

But emergency investors were found and the movie is set to be finished by the end of the week.

"It's not just the rape scene - the whole story is challenging Dakota as an actress," Fanning's agent, Osbrink, said.

"And I've never been so proud of her in my life. In every scene she gets better and better."

Can you say, desperate attempt at shock value? Pathetic. I'll still watch the movie when it gets released, but I hope the end justifies the means.

OUT.

"bullet with butterfly wings."

2006-07-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

Disinterest. Lethargy. Apathy. Attributes that sum me up perfectly right about now. Still more or less on a short break from everything, but I'll bullet-point some random thoughts. Just because. Hell, it's my blog and I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do.

* Been going out with a girl by the name of Sandra for a couple of weeks now (the one I mentioned in my last entry for June). I'm still anguishing over the loss of Sabrina, but at the same time, I'm learning to have fun and reconnect with other people. Sandra's great, in the sense that even if we don't have THAT much in common, we can find things to talk about. And one of the things we do have in common always serves up an adventure for us to embark on. Pretty cool. Still, it's not as if we're serious or exclusive or anything. Sandra and I are, simply put, just hanging out and having fun. I don't think I'm capable of advancing what we have to another level. I like her, but I doubt she will live up to my expectations of what I want in a significant other, after having experienced magic with Sabrina. Bah. I wish I was asexual. Gay isn't cool; I have no intentions to 'cross swords'. Ugh.

* Work has been been pretty FUCKING BAD. CHRIST. Well, the actual part where I work? Not so bad. In fact, I'm starting to love teaching more and more. Especially recruits, because it's so easy to fuck around with them. Even then, I do it with so much class and intensity, it raises the bar for whoever else in my batch that wants to come to Tekong and teach. Yeah, ego trip there. I don't care. I fucking rock at teaching, even if my technique isn't so polished. Even if I were to be attached to another unit, teaching ICCT or ACCT, I'd become fucking ace in no time at all. The trouble with my 'job' -- and I use that term loosely because I'm being paid fucking peanuts for too much trouble -- is all the extra-curricular tasks/activities I have to do. Like, guard duty. And fucking monthly caretaker duty. Plus other shit like morning runs if I go back to PLC on Tuesdays and Fridays. And being chosen as the emcee for all future events that require it. Don't even get me started on the politics. Bloody hell.

* Well, too late. I've started. Last week (Tuesday), I had to go back to HQ in PLC to return a donation card. Yeah, imagine that; my salary blows, but I still have to donate money. Anyways, after being in PLC in the morning, I had to go back to Tekong for one afternoon lesson. Originally, Thiban and I were supposed to go together. But, the night before, Reuben told me he wanted to switch with Thiban in the afternoon. This would mean Reuben, who also needed to return his donation card, would follow me to PLC in the morning, and to Tekong in the afternoon. This also meant Thiban would take over Reuben at Bedok Camp in the afternoon. At the last minute, I found out that Thiban would have to return his donation card as well on Tuesday morning. Not a problem, I thought. I had sorted out everything with him and even got his understanding on the matter. HOWEVER, on Tuesday morning, Reuben and I failed to spot Thiban back in HQ after the run. A quick call to him unearthed the fact that he was at Selerang Camp (where he was originally supposed to be), and that he was going to return his donation card in the afternoon. Fine, whatever. Reuben and I left for Tekong after having applications for our respective off days refused point blank by MISTER OHK. Bastard. I thought I had it good with him. I bought the man 4D, darn it! Blah, he was in a bad mood that morning. Anywho, Reubz and I just barely reached Tekong on time, and went ahead with the lessons. Yes, lessons. The schedule for Tekong has been soooo messed up for a while now, and instances like that -- where we learn of lessons five minutes before they are supposed to be conducted -- keep cropping up. Didn't matter on that day, though, since Reuben was there. He took one COY, I took another. On the way home, however, I got a call from the Area IC. The one in charge of schedule and manpower planning. He basically gave me an earful for attempting to do HIS job. Turns out, because of Thiban getting confused of what was supposed to happen on that fateful Tuesday, Bedok Camp experienced a severe shortage of manpower. And the blame was placed squarely on my shoulders. Fuck that shit. If I was going to do HIS fucking job, I'd do it with my eyes fucking closed. There would be no bullshit regarding schedules and such. Hell, the day before (Monday), I literally had to call several companies and confirm their upcoming lessons all because the fucking Area IC didn't do his job and update the schedule properly. Motherfucker. Anyways, I didn't really give a shit. I didn't do anything wrong. If anything, I *tried* to make things easier on some people... but, hey, if confusion arises, wouldn't it best to DO SOME FUCKING CONFIRMATION to avoid any grevious consequences?

* This brings me to my more important concern: this past week, I've been doing the work of other people, when it comes to the schedule of lessons in Tekong. On Monday, had I not booked in early, I would have missed a whole lesson. Later that day, as Tim got his hair cut, I went around the fucking BMTC compound trying to sort out if the schedule agreed upon by our Area IC and the BMTC Training Branch actually matched that were given to the respective companies. Guess what? It was an absolute mess. One good thing did come out of the whole experience; I got first-hand knowledge of the lessons that were coming up in the coming weeks. This was way better than relying on OTHER PEOPLE to keep the schedule organised. On Thursday, when Chris and Alex brought up the Tuesday misunderstanding to Thiban, Chris actually asked Thiban if he wanted to relinquish being BMTC School 1's unit instructor to me. Ha! I don't mind responsibility; too used to it. I'd prefer having everything laid out in front of me, so that fiascos like last Tuesday can be completely avoided and neutered. Still, I want to wait until the 62nd Batch become the most senior batch (and thereby are allowed to take things even easier than they already are) for me to take over as unit instructor. Even then, I will probably take over Alex as the unit instructor for BMTC School 2. Less red-tape. Speaking of which, it's great that Alex is hardworking and responsible as the unit instructor. Between the two of us, we have managed to salvage the non-existence of Thiban's effort in his duties as unit instructor for School 1. I hope Thiban shapes up soon; he's a good guy, when it's all said and done, but he's inviting trouble upon himself. I don't want to have to punk him out, hahaha.

* As of today, my writing ambitions are continuing to flounder in the wind. In fact, I'm thinking about withdrawing from one particular club I joined (or re-joined -- it's a long story). Even though the club doesn't have strict rules on deadlines, I just don't see myself being shackled by time constraints anymore. It dampens my motivation. So, yeah. Hopefully, I can get back into the swing of things soon. Writing is my therapy, and I need some mental treatment. Or I'll go batshit crazy. Currently, I'm keeping myself sane by playing old games; Championship Manager 4, in particular. I love football management. I rock at it, more or less.

* Speaking of football, I realised I never fully summed up my thoughts on the World Cup. Alright then, let's go. Brazil disappointed me greatly. England will always be underachievers. Portugal did pretty well, but I wish they didn't have to resort to so much playacting. Argentina were unlucky not to get an easier draw. Spain and The Netherlands could have done so much better, if luck were on their side... and if they didn't choke. France almost gave me a heart attack, but thanks to that cunt Zidane, I'm still alive. Seriously, Zidane, you've headbutted your way into football infamy. People will now not remember you for your overrated skills, you cock. Ha. ITALY! YES, FINALLY! AFTER BITTER DEFEAT AT EURO 2000, ITALY HAVE WON! WHOOOO! Always have had a soft spot for Italy, and I'm so fucking happy they finally won the big one in an era where I'm a participant simply by witnessing their moment of triumph. Awesome stuff. Truly memorable.

I think my next big project will see me becoming a wine appreciator. Don't ask me why. I've always been a casual fan of wine, but I want to be one of those hardcore enthusiasts. Seems like enjoying wine could be a lot of fun. Just like this little treat. How's my camera work? =]

OUT.

"the end is the beginning is the end."

2006-07-05T05:18:00.000+08:00

I'm not dead, I swear. Although, deadness is so totally underrated.

I just decided to take a short sabbatical from airing my grievances on the information superhighway. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Maybe it's because I've been feeling rather disillusioned as of late. Perhaps it has finally dawned on me that I can never become the human workrate machine I once was (for all the wrong reasons admittedly). I personally think it's the realisation of a lot of things, that have made me reflect on what I've accomplished so far in life.

And once you have that kind of experience with your conscience, you're bound to have an epiphany of some sort. Trouble is, the moment of clarity didn't make me jump for joy. It made me sick of myself, as a matter of fact. I'm trying to change who I am, for the better. It's just not working out. The effort I'm putting in is laughable. I should be trying harder; I really should. Can't seem to muster the effort needed, though. I'm drained of the kind of energy I dream about having when I drift off into deep sleep.

Enough of this. I need some time to re-evaluate my purpose of being. I require an inner intervention. If I keep on driving on this lonely road, I'm going to end up bitter and resentful of myself. And when that happens, how will I treat the people who matter to me? The answer is obvious, and it's scaring the shit out of me.

OUT.

"rich idiots fly to tropical islands all the time to whack balls around."

2006-06-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

I'm glad this month is finally over (almost). Well, that's an understatement, to be fair to myself. I'm extremely happy I can put this month behind me.

June, traditionally (in terms of the past six years for clarification's sake), has never been a great month for me. I broke up with the absolute love of my life -- with whom I had a fantastic one year love-story -- four years ago in the month of June... and that left me crushed for many months. I think, in some way, that the break-up with Heather way back then led to a series of events that happened in 2002/2003 that have shaped who I am this very day. And this very day, I am still reeling over the dissolving of my relationship with Sabrina. I also haven't been very productive this month, and generally been off my game in many areas.

It is my resolution to improve myself as a person from this month. I just got news from my Mom that my Dad, who's been ill for the last couple of days, has heart problems. Ain't that just the best news ever? Yeah, sarcasm detector going crazy there. What does this mean for me? SIMPLE! More pressure on my shoulders to quickly take over as the breadwinner. Not that I can slip into such a role whilst in the Army, as I pointed out to myself. Working part-time during the weekends is dandy and all, but it's not a long-term fix. It's only for my immediate needs; food, booze, entertainment, clothes, and all those other bollocks. Bah. Whatever. I aim to keep myself updated with the world and the way it changes until next September. I don't want to get a job simply because I can bullshit people, and then not know how to do it and therefore lose the change to carve out advancement opportunities.

This week at work; eh, nothing much to say. Back in Tekong for the long-haul again. Had a couple of lessons the past couple of days, which didn't pose much of a problem. On Wednesday, had to go back to HQ to help with more shifting rubbish. Ended up doing jack shit. Left early to go galavanting with MISTER OHK. After running a small errand, he brought me to Balestiar so that I could help him do some legalised quasi-gambling (4D to be precise). Hilarious. He told me a lot about himself and his family, which opened up a side of himself I never expected to be exposed to. The more I think about it, the more I think MISTER OHK is a nice guy. I just believe that he chooses to flex his authority in weird and often-comical ways. I do not foresee any problems as far as surviving with him as my crazy boss in AFC is concerned. He constantly calls on me to help him with minor missions, even when he could call anybody else that isn't toasted brown (HARDY HAR HAR). Heh. Anyways, we had some dumbass parade today. Which meant, boots and a beret and waiting a long time for some bigwig in the SAF to talk about things that don't mean a damn to me. Blah blah blah, slacked for the rest of the afternoon. Didn't do anything productive, except attend a lecture on general safety procedures our unit must adhere to. Run of the mill stuff.

Like I said, nothing exciting. This is, though: a friend introduced me to this girl last night. Quite attractive, nice body. Distinctly conservative fashion sense. By all accounts, I should have been happy to get a chance to hop back onto the bandwagon straight away... but I just didn't click with this girl. Rather, I didn't give myself a chance to click with her. I'm going to go out with her on Sunday, but it's merely a formality. I'm not drawn to her. Heck, I see a lot of pretty girls around lately... and after the initial encounter where I decide whether they're really hot or not, any sembelance of interest fades away. My mind's still on Sabrina.

I'm such a god-damned pussy, innit? GAWD.

OUT.

"well, you're either a taxidermist or a hitman."

2006-06-28T22:09:00.000+08:00

And so, after weeks of hysteria, the World Cup has finally gotten to the point where there is absolutely no room for mistake. It's do or die. One single mistake could possibly determine whether a team goes home having underachieved while the other team takes another giant step towards footballing supremacy. It's so cutthroat now, but that is the appeal of the World Cup.

After mostly predictable results (save for a couple of minor upsets) in the group stages, the 2nd Round more or less went according to script in terms of who progressed. How some teams got to the quarter-finals, however, is a different story altogether. Take the England/Ecuador match for example. Ecuador were not inspired to go for the kill, and England played some of the most boring football ever. I mean, seriously. The English players -- most of them, at least -- appeared to be playing without any fucking pride for their country whatsoever. Advancing is one thing. It's great that England progresses and such. Doing it by scrapping through on the skin of your arse is another. Do like what Argentina and Germany did; PLAY SOME FUCKING PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL. Have some bloody pride, and pay back all the supporters counting on you not only to win but to showcase just what the country's standard of football is made of. Anyways, I truly believe that England were extremely lucky to have won their match. If only Ecuador had been more ambitious and clinical; shocking absence of enterprising play from Ecuador, considering they were brimming with confidence two matches into the tournament.

In stark comparison, Argentina/Mexico was a brilliant game. I'm pleased with how much progress Mexico have made over the last several years. They have become a team absolutely difficult to beat and kill off, as Argentina found out. Mexico took the lead after a storming start, but the Argentinians started to find their rhythm after a while... and a goal was inevitable. After that, both teams went for the victory but cancelled each other out rather excellently. Argentina, for once, looked more than a bit suspect as Mexico stifled their creativity. Eventually, however, a spark of genius from a burgeoning Argentinian striker brought forth the winner and one of the wonder goals of the tournament. Hats off to Mexico for providing such an immense challenge for Argentina, who must also be applauded for showing true grit and the provision of some great football. This current crop of Argentinian players are some of the best... but still, that match with Mexico exposed some holes in their defence. Food for though.

Germany easily swept past Sweden by two goals, and once again showed why it's cool to be a fan of Germany; gone are the days of boring, straightforward football. A hallmark of the German style. Nowadays, German football is associated with the terms: exciting, joyful, refreshing. Solid stuff. On the other hand, Portugal's showdown with the Netherlands can be associated with the word MASSACRE. Hard-hitting football, curbed by the referee's refusal to provide a flowing game of footy. To his defense, the play. Portugal may have won the match (and they did so looking pretty good)... but they have mounting suspension problems. Still, with an awesome coach at the helm and a good depth of talented individuals, Portugal have enough firepower to carry on in the tournament without much problems.

Brazil/Ghana turned out more or less as expected, with Brazil running rampant without ever getting into truly top gear. I don't know what is it about Brazil that's not clicking, but if there was ever a time to turn up the samba, it is now. I hope Brazil will start showing just what they are really capable of. Ghana have no reason to be upset over their loss to Brazil, though; they played well enough, and the Black Stars even devised several threatening plays. Hope to see them continue improving over the next couple of years. Ukraine/Switzerland was a bore, and the match actually went to penalties. Tough luck for the Swiss, crashing out of the tournament without having even conceded a single goal in normal time. Pity about their penalty-taking, ha. Nonetheless, majority of the players in the squad are still young... so they definitely have the capacity to improve and perhaps give a better account of themselves at the next big football tournament (Euro 2008). Ukraine have made a complete turnaround since their first match, but again, they didn't look overly creative upfront. The midfielders need to provide better service to their star Shev if the Ukrainias want to make a statement.

Now, for the last two matches. Italy/Australia was a even contest, with Australia looking as if they might nick the match. Subdued quality up in attack, however, meant that a bunch of decent chances went down the drain. This gave Italy the chance to keep on pressing, and luckily enough (for the Italians), they were awarded a penalty in stoppage time. Heartbreak for the Aussies, really. Italy definitely need to be more clinical and decisive in their attacking. Maybe have Totti and Gattuso (who was an absolute beast during the match with all his incisive plays) spearhead the midfield, supporting Del Piero or Inzaghi? Lastly, we had the big one; Spain/France. Sigh, I was hoping Spain would crush the French but it wasn't to be. France won by three goals to one. Too pissed to talk much about the match, so all I'll say is this: Spain are going to be underachievers if they continue to employ coaches who choke when it really matters. As far as France is concerned, you bastards are riding your luck to the bank. It won't last long, though.

Now, we look ahead to the quarter-finals which are completely hard to predict:

* Brazil vs France -- Brazil to win 3-2.
* Portugal vs England -- Portugal to win 3-1.
* Italy vs Ukraine -- Italy to win 1-0.
* Germany vs Argentina -- I'll be fucked if I know.

Some mouth-watering matches there, to be honest. Germany/Argentina is going to be difficult to watch, because both teams have made me fans of their play this tournament. Ah well, there can be only one winner. Sad. Here's hoping I improve on my winnings from the group stages and the 2nd Round. =]

OUT.

"no one's punishing us. there's no such thing as fate."

2006-06-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

I've not been one to succumb to the juggernaut that is American Idol. I mean, I like watching the audition stages of the show, but everything else after that doesn't massively interest me. At the most, I'll check who is eliminated after each round online, and leave it at that. The only season I really cared about was Season 3, for some reason. The most recent season saw Taylor Hicks edge out Katherine McPhee to win the competition. Judging from people's reaction, the right person won in what was a mediocre season that still garnered monster ratings.

For me, I figured Taylor would do well when I first saw him during the audition stages. He just had that winning look to me, even if he was acting a little sketchy. Turns out, his behaviour early on really was just something of an act. Katherine McPhee, I thought, was a hot piece of arse. Singing was good, yes, but she had those lovely puppy-dog eyes and that wonderful body. However, there seemed to be the issue of her overbearing parents looming over Katherine's head as she progressed in the tournament. Everyone I talked to about American Idol hated Katherine because of how her parents continually pimped her out, but still adored her stunning figure (and made the mandatory comment about wanting to do nasty things to her).

Why the bloody hell am I talking about American Idol, and about the runner-up of the most recent season in some detail? Well, simply because I came across something incredibly ticklish regarding Katherine McPhee:

Katharine McPhee doesn't want to hide anymore. The "American Idol" runner-up comes out as a recovering bulimic in the new issues of People and Teen People, which hit newsstands Friday and June 30, respectively.

Ardent observers may have noticed that McPhee dropped three dress sizes from when she first auditioned for American Idol, but the singer attributes the weight loss to her recovery, not her illness. Her battle with bulimia started her junior year in high school, and McPhee said her real problem was avoiding her emotions.

"Food was my crutch," McPhee told People. "It was how I dealt with emotions and uncomfortable situations. It was literally a drug."

The singer said she thinks her body-image issues started when her body changed at age 13. Before then, she said, she didn't think about food. She was a "stick" and "could eat all I wanted." Then, seemingly overnight, she had "womanly curves," which made her uncomfortable. Though she had always been athletic, taking dance classes and competing on the school swim team, she started exercising compulsively and starving herself.

"I got more and more obsessed with trying to lose weight and looking like other 14- and 15-year-olds," she told Teen People. "I think it has to do with growing up in L.A. where more people are body-conscious."

She didn't force herself to vomit until she was 17, she said, and she was able to hide the behavior for about six months, at which point she told her mom. She tried going to therapists and dieticians and then relapsed. She tried going to Food Addicts Anonymous but only lasted two weeks.

"It always starts off with a diet," she told Teen People. "The more I dieted, the more I became obsessed with food. Food was like a drug to me. It was such a miserable life."

McPhee's problem got worse when she went to college, studying musical theater at the Boston Conservatory, where her behavior was encouraged by her dorm-mates. "I definitely put on the 'freshman 20,' " she told Teen People. "We would [go out], get back to the dorm at 2 in the morning, have three slices of Little Steve's House of Pizza -- which were big -- and go to bed."

McPhee recognized that her behavior was self-destructive, but she thought it was the only way to succeed as a singer. She likens the purging to "putting a sledgehammer to your vocal cords." When she was rejected from 195 of 200 auditions she went to in the 18 months before "Idol," she attributed the failures to her weight, not a lack of talent. Her manager reinforced this perception, telling her, "Just lose 10 to 15 pounds, and we'll start booking stuff," she said.

"She looked beautiful but felt she wasn't camera-ready," her mother Peisha told Teen People. "It's unfortunate our society is obsessed with being so stick-thin."

But the 22-year-old finally realized she needed help. When she auditioned for "Idol," she was vomiting seven times a day, and she knew if she made the show, that couldn't continue -- not if she wanted to win.

"Food -- my eating disorder -- was the one thing holding me back," she told People. "I mean, here I am, this singer, and it was so horrible on my vocal cords. So when I got on the show, I said, 'You know what? I can do well. Let me give myself a chance and just get a hold of this thing.'"

McPhee entered a three-month program at the Los Angeles Eating Disorder Center of California in October so she could start shooting the show in December. She did group and individual therapy six days a week and read "Intuitive Eating." She lost her fear of so-called "bad" foods by allowing herself to eat ice cream, peanut butter and mini Snickers bars (four with each meal). Now she doesn't want Snickers anymore, and she hasn't binged since two weeks before entering the program.

"I was actually addressing the issue, not trying to lose weight," McPhee told Teen People. "I was letting my body do what it naturally wanted to do, by eating normally."

While McPhee doesn't consider herself completely healed, she's thrilled at the progress she's made so far -- and is hopeful that by coming forward now, she'll "encourage other people not to hide."

"I've learned to deal with my emotions differently," she told People, "to deal with them, instead of with food."

The source is MTVAsia.com, for whoever is wondering. I don't know about anybody else, but it seems as if McPhee is no stranger to stirring up melodrama. I don't think anybody gave a flying fuck about whatever disorder she might have had, so why is she bringing this up and baring this story for all to see? Attention whore? According to some people, yes. She is an attention whore, ever since she became popular due to her singing (mostly) on American Idol. Then, she stopped caring about singing and started focusing more on being in the limelight. The ticket to that, was to make sure everything about her became dramatic. Like, her parents. And, oh, this supposed bullimia disorder.

Blah. I still say I hope she does Playboy. I'd love to do nasty things to the piece of paper that has McPhee naked and bending over, smiling at the camera. Couldn't care less about her singing, though. It isn't that great.

OUT.

"you're a man of science, i'm a man of faith."

2006-06-23T21:19:00.000+08:00

It's been an incredibly busy week for me. Not in terms of my personal life; I'm talking about my job. The effects of which have rendered me a lethargic mess for the entire week, leaving me little energy to pursue my own interests & hobbies. I've literally done nothing remotely worthwhile this week, and I feel so incredibly guilty for it.

Okay, let's start with Monday. Had to go to Selarang Camp in the morning. It's nearer to my house than, say Hendon Camp or even the SFT en route to Tekong, but as is the norm for most military camps... it's quite out of the way. I decided to just take a taxi there on Monday morning, and the fare only amounted to four bucks. Alex and Chris joined me there, and I had to introduce the men to their ACCT package. The trouble with that was that the men at Selarang Camp are mere months away from their ORD. Which mean, they don't give a flying fuck. This posed a challenge to me, as I had to control them and garner their attention without being too overbearing towards the men. It wasn't such a tough one after all, but it simply reminded me why I absolutely adore teaching in Tekong. I'd lose my patience at these mainland unit idiots far too quickly. Probably the only one who feels the way I do, however. Anyways, I finished the lesson pretty quickly and went home for a solid nap, prior to heading to Bedok Camp in the afternoon. There, I also did my best to finish the lesson as fast as possible. This resulted in me being back home by 1730. That was cool. Managed to write for a bit before the night's World Cup action. Was very impressed with Spain and the resolve their players showed to eventually romp to a 3-1 victory. Only made about $20 on Monday's matches, but I was more or less satisfied.

On Tuesday, I was so very happy to go back to Tekong. Early on in the morning, there was some drama involving Thiban. He had the gall to tell me not to be late for the Tekong lesson on Monday evening, and yet, he only arrived 10 minutes before the lesson started. Hell, even Tim came early (same time as me). It was funny having the chance to grill Thiban about this, and listening to his excuses. Anyways, the first lesson of the spanking new Tekong season went to Dragon COY. Tim gave the briefing, I taught the class. Thiban spent the entire time talking to his friend. After the lesson, we headed back to our bunk, and I took the chance to catch up on some sleep -- two one hour naps on either side of a lunch-break. Throw in some good-natured ribbing of Thiban by both Tim and myself, and you have the ingredients of a pretty solid day in Tekong. For the afternoon lesson, Tim left early... so that left Thiban to teach the lesson while I assisted. In an attempt to curb my recent trend of bullying him, I'm not going to say much about the silly things Thiban did as he taught Jaguar COY their first lesson. Except that I'm happy, for knowing that I have a style of teaching that is tighter and more fluent than my direct senior. Anyways, we finished the lesson early and headed home for our well-deserved rest. For me, I really needed the rest; I was to be on caretaker duty the very next day. This didn't stop me from enjoying Germany crushing Ecuador 3-0, and England huffing & puffing to a 2-2 draw with the Swedish. Lost some money on the Poland/Costa match but recouped my losses with the England/Sweden match after a last-minute decision. Whoo!

Wednesday was the day I went back to HQ to do my monthly caretaker duty. I was looking forward to it only because I had a possible chance of interacting with my juniors (still pissed that only nine people ended up being selected). Spent most of the morning slacking, reading comics and just watching the television. I had brought a slew of comics and even some DVDs (The Simpsons Season 4) to keep myself occupied throughout the day. Finally had the opportunity to watch the juniors during their training around 1120, and to be honest, I wasn't completely impressed with the way they looked. None of them looked like natural fighters; in fact, nearly all of them looked very nerdy. Of course, I was well aware that appearances don't count for anything these days, but still, I was sad that the people I had hoped would be selected ended up elsewhere. I was also agitated at how one of my batch-mates who is in the Course Team and therefore teaching the juniors managed to make *me* seem like a fool to the juniors with a couple of his tricks. Instead of lashing out then & there, however, I simply smiled and kept my cool. No worries, I thought to myself. I would have the the juniors to myself later that night, and I would be then able to dispense my own brand of propaganda to them. For the rest of the afternoon, I alternated between almost falling asleep in the gym and sneaking out to watch the juniors train. At around 1630, I was told to go up to the Conference Room as there was the need to discuss something very important. Operation Moving Day, it was called. The work that we CCIs did last Friday was all leading up to Operation Moving Day. I was told to draw up three teams of CCIs for OMD. Team 1 would be going to Khatib Camp on Thursday afternoon to help with the move of all IT equipment down to Pasir Laba Camp. Team 2 would consist of people helping with the packing and moving of office furniture (including tables and chairs) from Khatib Camp. Team 2 would also have the people involved in the NDP included. Team 3 would consist of people stationed in HQ, to work on the internal moving and also when everybody else came back from Khatib Camp.

Naturally, faced with this responsibility wasn't hunky dory with me... but since MISTER OHK presented me with some authoritative power to go along with the role, I was pleased. I made sure I put myself in the best position possible with regards to OMD, so that I wouldn't have to suffer the indignity of doing so much fecking work overall. Once I had drawn up all the teams and such, it was time for dinner. Great news, because it meant I could have dinner with my juniors and therefore begin dispensing all my knowledge of the inner-workings of AFC to them. Which is exactly what I did. I felt like Stalin for some reason, riling them up with what lay ahead for these unsuspecting trainees in the coming months. At the same time, I made sure to scout who exactly I wanted to be attached to the Tekong Team once they passed out. The way I see it, this 64th Batch will pass out with one person going to all the teams sans the HQ Team. And as it is, the HQ Team has enough people. I guess nine is the lucky number. Anyways, after dinner, I told the juniors that they could meet me in the Specialists' Mess later on for more discussion on life in AFC. They were up for it and went off to wash up. I, in the meantime, went ahead and did the evening tasks the caretaker of the day is supposed to do and headed straight to the Mess. While waiting for the 64th Batch, I got to try out my DVDs of The Simpsons Season 4 for a bit. Quality stuff, even if I have seen some of the episodes countless times. After which, I drifted in and out of a nap before the 64th Batch finally showed up. Took them outside and continued my spreading of propaganda. I wanted to make sure that these guys trusted me and were wary of the right people in AFC. I wasn't badmouthing or backstabbing anybody who didn't entirely deserve it, just to clarify. I was doing the juniors a favour; preparing them for some of the real fuckers within AFC. At the same time, I informed them of some key activities that they would be subject to and the life of an instructor when he passes out. Needless to say, I had them hooked. After a job well done, I sent them on their way, closed up the gym (nearly an hour and a half late), and went to sleep. Not before watching the last 15 minutes of the Portugal/Mexico match, however. I'm over the moon that Portugal topped their group, but now... they face The Netherlands in the next round. DARN IT. Two of my favourite teams squaring off -- this is such a bloody dilemma. =[

Thursday morning arrived, and I almost didn't wake up on time to open the gym at its intended time. I took it as a bad omen for the rest of the day. I was half-right, when it was time to conduct the rollcall at 0800. Took everybody such a fucking long time to gather and get their arses in gear. Mr Lim took over and told us CCIs what we would be exposed to the next couple of days. I could sense that everybody hated the fact that we had to do all this work and receive zero credit for it whatsoever, but at the same time, I could also imagine half of them finding ways to smoke their way out of manual labour. The rest of the morning rolled by quickly, and soon, it was time for myself and some of my batch-mates to collect lunch for everybody else. Getting everybody to go for lunch was a feat in itself, but what happened after was just a catastrophic mess. Everybody KNEW that we had to leave for Khatib Camp after lunch, and instead of staying put to wait for instructions, half of these jokers just went missing. I literally had to run around and tell people it was time to report to the gym for we *had* to leave for Khatib Camp by 1200. Confusion and multiple changes cropped up, and by the time we hit the road, it was 1220. Bloody fucking hell.

Long story short, there was tons of work to do at Khatib Camp. Team 2 went off to do their monstrously hideous tasks while Team 1 began loading computers and other such electronical devices into the minibus for transportation back to PLC. Within 20 minutes or so, Team 1 was done. Unfortunately, not everybody in Team 1 could go back because only four people fit into the car of one of the Khatib Camp's AFC boss. I myself had to take the minibus to PLC alone. Figured it'd present a chance for me to sleep, and so, that's what I did. Arrving back at PLC, I met up with my other batch-mates (only two or three of them) who were there to slack for a little and watch the juniors during their training again. It then became time to do more work, and that lasted all the way until 1630. For an hour or so after that, as everybody else made their way back to PLC and unloaded all the crap we'd brought over from Khatib Camp (which was a lot of stuff), all us CCIs did nothing but sit around and do nothing. More importantly, we were waiting for the a-okay to go home. I was especially antsy, because of a migrane. Unfortunately for me, there was to be more work. Exclusively for me. It seems that nobody in the unit had the technical know-how to fix computers up. So, I was presented with this glorious opportunity to set up computers in the new office for all those bigwigs moving down from Khatib Camp. By the time I left fucking PLC, it was already 1845. Everybody else had left at 1800 sharp. I felt so disgusted that I had stayed behind to do so much extra work without any compensation or a promise of any sort of benefit, having stayed over the previous day. Story of my life, innit? Had to take a cab home, and the fare amounted to 25 dollars. My wallet's still zinging from that.

As I was thinking about how some people find it so easy to coast through their jobs by doing as little work as possible simply because they know the right people, Friday came around (that's today). I was already in a foul mood in the morning because of SOME MOTHERFUGGING IDIOTS WHO PISSED ME OFF GREATLY ON THURSDAY NIGHT (a story I do not wish to care). My mood was only slightly chirpier by the fact that Brazil finally stepped up and crushed Japan 4-1, and Australia advancing to the next around in a real shocker. USA losing to Ghana also made me happy, but I was miffed at another one of my favourites, the Czech Republic, losing out. Such a shame. Anyways, I reported to Khatib Camp on this morning with the intention of living through the day with a no-nonsense attitude. Turns out, all us Team 1 members had to wait for some time for the work to get underway. During breakfast, somebody said something nice about a batch-mate of mine who's a real slacker and a general cunt in all reality, and that only served to piss me off further. Almost vomitted on the spot. Sickens me that a person like that gets a compliment while someone like me -- who has done quite a lot for my own batch -- gets zero recognition. Bloody fantastic. After a while, MISTER OHK announced that he was taking four people back to HQ to help with his own work. I was one of the (lucky) four, and we all took his car back to HQ. I was tickled at the fact that one of my seniors, who was also being brought back to HQ, being pissed at me. Apparently, the day before (when us CCIs were standing around and doing fuck all), I "went over the line" by hitting him too hard as we fooled around. I wasn't sorry; the fucker started the whole incident, by bringing up the issue of race. So, what, you're touchy about me hitting you too hard while you hit me back like a little pussy? FUCK YOU.

We got back to HQ and proceeded to do some boring work. Hell, the whole day was like that; uninteresting but tedious. I got more and more irritated as the day slogged along, with how everybody seemed to be so completely fake to each other. He hates this guy, but is nice to him anyways for the sake of it. He seems to be on good terms with this other guy, only so that he can be sheltered and protected from doing too much stuff. So on and so forth. I also got into a couple of heated racially-oriented arguements with some people, since they figured it'd be nice to stereotype people. Seriously, if the best thing you can do to me is throw racist remarks, I have to laugh. I'd rather you piss in my mouth; now, that is a good way to humiliate me. Dumb fuckers. The return of my migraine didn't make things better, and I found humour in annoying some of my batch-mates with cheap tricks. Kinda feel guilty about lashing out at them, but hell, looking back... I don't really care much. Little work was done by us for the rest of the afternoon, since professional movers took over. At around 1620, the big boss of AFC (the real boss at the top of the mountain) gave us a speech about the entire AFC umbrella finally being under one roof and about how he appreciated all our hard work. He did mention that we would all receive one day's off for our efforts right before he thanked us one last time and let us attack the food that awaited us. After that, we all waited inside one of the offices for an awfully long time until we could finally fuck off. I was the happiest bugger in there, finally able to put an exhausting and mostly miserable week behind me.

This has been a long entry. A rant of epic proportions, you might say. I feel so much better getting all this out of my brain, simply because the culture of AFC was exposed to me in full flight this week and I could not take another second of all these feelings being bottled up inside. But, every cloud has a silver lining. Everything that has happened this week has told me one simple thing; there needs to be a change on my part. I'm done being treated like crap and being subject to abuse from people who think they're better than me because I'm in a minority race. Fact is, I'm better than you by merit of me being THAT MUCH SMARTER than you cockhounds. So, with that in mind, I'm just going to go all commando and fuck everything. I'm going to, finally and earnestly, start living for myself. I'm going to take the bull by its proverbial horns, and I'm going to steer it in a direction that suits me. And only me.

After all, what have I got to lose? Nothing. I'm a smart fucker who can wiggle my way out of any difficult situation. For once, I'm going to stop letting life deal me shitty hand after shitty hand. I'm going to take control of my own fucking destiny. Things are going to fucking change around here.

OUT.

"there's always a choice."

2006-06-18T19:01:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling rather down lately. I would like to attribute to the painful break-up which I have so far managed to mask quite well, but that wouldn't be completely fair. The feeling of lethargy have been swirling around for a while, now. I'm not sure what the problem is, exactly. All I know is fueled by the fact that I am once again single, this jadedness has caused me to lose interest in a lot of things. I'm more content with just sitting around and staring into the sky before I eventually and inevitably doze off.

Didn't do much today. Woke up a little later than expected, but it's not as if I had plans to be anywhere. I was thoroughly stunned by how the Italy/USA match turned out. Only managed to catch the first half of the match before I turned earlier in the morning, and I did not expect USA to hold on to the vital draw, especially since it seems they were down to nine men rather early in the second half. Italy are well and truly screwed now; they have GOT to beat the Czech Republic if they want to advance. A draw will not suffice, and should not be the gameplan. Italy need to see how Ghana shackled the Czechs down last night and follow the same pattern.

The other matches last night included Ghana upsetting the Czech Repbublic by two goals to nil, and Portugal rather easily beating Iran by the same score. First up, Iran/Portugal: I don't know what is going on with Portugal, but they don't seem to want to play in top gear. They were decidedly mundane last night, and after getting their first goal, were guilty of sitting back and inviting Iran to get an equaliser. Which Iran almost did. For about twenty minutes, the Iranians looked lethal and were unlucky of some sub-par finishing because I really thought an equaliser was on the cards. Alas for them, a second goal went in (a penalty no less) towards the end of the game, and Iran are out. Portugal are through, but they didn't look impressive. Ghana, on the other hand, were magnificent last night against the Czechs. I had pinned my hopes on the Czech Repbulic winning by two goals to one, but they simply did not perform last night. Ghana ruled the game virtually from start to finish, and the Czechs can thank goalie Petr Cech for keeping the scoreline respectable. I really like the Czech Republic, but this defeat leaves them worse for wear. Ghana now has the best chance to advance to the next round.

Let me explain. Group E is now wide open, which is awesome because the last two matches in the group will be intense and nail-biting. Even the USA have a chance now (albeit an extremely slim one), due to another upset; I thoroughly expected Italy to wallop them by two or three goals. Major improvement by the USA defensively, but they still look tame while going forward. I don't see them posing much problems to Ghana, now that we know Ghana can outright play and frustrate the fuck out of teams. To be honest, Ghana has the best chance of advancing in this group. They will face USA in their last match, while Italy and the Czechs do battle. Fantastic stuff. Really looking forward to what happens in this group.

* Ghana beats USA, Italy beat the Czechs; Italy & Ghana prevail.
* Ghana beats USA, Italy & the Czechs draw; Italy & Ghana prevail.
* Ghana beats USA, the Czechs beat Italy; the Czechs & Ghana prevail.

Italy and the Czech Republic have to really hope USA produces another massive shock and beats Ghana if they want to advance. Having said that, the USA would have to destroy Ghana by a sizable margin if they want to go through on goal difference. Whatever the case, this just means two potentially blockbuster matches next week. And that's what the game is all about! Yeah!

Moving on; had my hair cut in the afternoon. I hate my hair. It never turns out the way I want it to. Okay, maybe not never; very rarely does it turn out the way I would prefer it to. The saving grace is, it's not too short and it's not too thin. Bah, I can't wait for NS to be over so that I can grow back my bangs as long as I want. Or as some of my friends would say, the "JESUS CHRIST LOOK". Man, I miss those days.

Today was also Father's Day. Made with the card and the gift and the cake just a short while ago, along with the usual festivities. This has me thinking to when I'll be on the opposite end of this celebratory day. One part of me says I will not expect much from my children. In fact, I won't pressure them to conjure up anything fancy... and perhaps even not care for the day. Another part of me thinks that seeing how much my children care for me will be so incredibly cool, and such an adrenaline rush. Either way, I have made a decision after scrambling to get a card at the last minute; I will now buy cards for all occassions one year in advance. Be it birthdays or anniversarys or even Mother's/Father's Day; I'm just going to buy them up and keep stock of them. Better than forgetting to buy a card and rushing to do so at the eleventh hour, innit?

Going to do some writing later on, as well as fix this pesky problem with my blog. You readers (all six of you) should be seeing some posts over the last week suddenly pop up today and tomorrow. My bad, it's a bug in my coding for the template of the blog. Besides all that, I should be primed and ready to catch today's matches; Brazil vs Australia (Brazil to win by two clear goals), Croatia vs Japan (tough one to call but I'm thinking Croatia wins by a goal), and France vs South Korea (it would tickle me greatly if South Korea won this one). I *would* try out some of the new PS2 games I bought from up north via JD9... but like I said at the start of the entry, I'm feeling jaded. Playing games mean exerting energy, and I'm not up for it. =[

OUT.

"planes crash, people die."

2006-06-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

I don't think I'll give studying another shot.

It's not a question of whether I can keep up or not. Trust me, if I wanted to study my arse off and get excellent grades, I could do it. I'd just have to sacrifice a couple of things. I didn't have the patience for diligent studying when I was younger, though. Now? I simply don't have the energy and the strength. Plus, what good is it going to do? Spending gobs of money on an extended education is the last thing I need to do. I should be, instead, saving up money for the future.

Plus, I'm not terribly fond of stressing over tests and exams. I've had enough of it. Sure, my academic life up to this point has been rather pathetic -- underachiever is the best word I'd use to describe my educational journey from the primary to tertiary level. Everybody I know that are furthering their studies now always complain about how the sheer volume of content they have to study for exams literally cripples them, rendering them a vegetable devoid of any social life. No way am I going to subject myself to that kind of cruel and inhumane punishment. I'd much prefer loitering around my neighbourhood, looking for innocent people to beat up just for the fun of it.

Speaking of loitering, I have to say that I really miss going to Tekong to teach. Bedok Camp is fine and all, but... I don't know, I'm not in love with the typical unit life. The past week or so, I've been treating my home like a hotel. And when I'm not doing that, I'm loitering around Tampines, feeling sorry for myself because my ex-girlfriend's Dad is a twat of the highest order. This ties in with the way the units at Bedok Camp schedule their ICCT/ACCT lessons. More often that not, one lesson in the early morning is followed up by another lesson in the late afternoon (1530 to 1730). This leaves a HUGE gap of free time in between, and there's fuck all to do at Bedok Camp. No bunk, no acess to the specialists' mess (CCIs are barred from Bedok Camp's specialists' mess -- don't ask me why as I have no sodding idea), and generally no form of entertainment to keep us occupied. Thus, there is only one real option: to go home and sleep for a while before returning back to the camp. A good idea, in theory. After a few days? It feels sickening. Like I said, your home becomes like a hotel. And the other option, loitering around, isn't much fun either. Unless you have friends to do it with, but most of my friends are Army guys now who DON'T have the flexibity of roaming about town during working hours.

Bleh. I hope I never get transferred from the Tekong Team to some other crappy team. Bedok Camp has the advantage of its proximity to my house, yes; but, that's it. Oh, and, it's also near Katong... where I've learned there is a shop that sells comics for reasonable prices. Trouble is, the stock there is limited. That sucks, as I was hoping to buy back issues of several titles. Only the newer issues are available, however. Thus, my quest for a complete comics shop on this bloody island continues.

And people wonder why I hate this fucking place. Heh.

OUT.

"but i've looked into the eye of this island, and what i saw... was beautiful."

2006-06-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

Amid all the crappiness of my break-up, I've been keeping up with the developments of the World Cup closely. Those expected to shock have not done so. Those expected to do just fine have done that. Those expected to razzle and dazzle? Well, they haven't really lived up to their billing. I'm hinting at England here, ha.

Anyways, here is the rest of my preview for Groups A through D of the World Cup. Posted the first part a few days ago, and I'll just post the rest at one shot. It'll be interesting to see whether my alcohol-influenced opinions will actually come to pass or not. Me thinks I'll be eating a few hats as the month winds down and we get to see who progresses to the next round.

[GROUP B] This is a very exciting group to watch, because all four teams involved -- England, Paraguay, Sweden, and debutants Trinidad & Tobago -- all have a reasonable chance of making it to the 2nd Round. England, especially, if you buy into the weight of expectations that has been heaped on the team. They have been considered as big-time threats for many years now, and in every competition that England is involved in... they are expected to win. Nothing less. No different this time 'round, and the English team will definitely be looking to repeat the performance of their predecessors exactly 40 years ago. Will almighty England win the World Cup? The answer is the same as it always is: they should, but they probably won't. And I'll tell you why; the squad, while filled to the brim with exquisite talent, doesn't have the one player that will lead them to greatness. Michael Owen is great and all, but he isn't a complete striker. Wayne Rooney? If he wasn't injured, then perhaps I'd say England will definitely go further. As it is, Rooney's got a 50% chance of actually playing a game. Another problem for England is all the other injuries mounting up. Their most recent victory over Jamaica came at a price with injuries to several key players. It also showcased what a ponce Peter Crouch is with that spectacular penalty miss... but one cannot ignore his hat-trick against the Jamaicans. Good stuff. Anyways, these are the facts: England has a great set of players (Stewart Downing is a diamond in the rough and I hope he plays a couple of games) under the guidance a very shrewd manager, but because of injuries to key players and massive expectations... I have to boldly say that if they can top Group B (and they should be able to do so save for another tricky match with Sweden), the furthest England will go is the round of eight. I'd like to be proven wrong, though. Moving on; Sweden is another team that is expected to do well. They have done well at the World Cup since 1994, but were humbled at 2002 by Senegal. This year, Sweden will definitely want to bank on the aging wisdom of players like Larsson and Ljungberg who will be playing in what could be their last international tournament. I have a feeling Sweden will do well against old rivals England (as they have a fantastic record against the English)... but I'm not sure if they can handle Paraguay's unpredictably. I'm also not so sure if Zlotan Ibrahimovic will shine in the tournament as he's expected to do, as he has had a rather tame campaign in Italy this past season. All that aside, Sweden have a talented team and I believe they could be a surprise in the later stages of the tournament. It should be a delight to watch them duke it out with England and Paraguay. Speaking of Paraguay, one has to wonder if there is life after Chilavert (undoubtedly Paraguay's biggest star in forever). I think the team that Paraguay have is capable of causing problems and frustrating their opponents... but there's not enough firepower in the squad for them to make it to the 2nd Round. Don't get me wrong, Paraguay's strikeforce is pretty damn good with Roque Santa Cruz looking sharp after months of staleness and young Nelson Haedo Valdez being one tricky customer... but the midfield is not a well-oiled machine and the defence is rather shaky. Look out for the likes of midfielder Carlos Paredes and goalie Justo Villar -- they are vital to Paraguay's success and are poised to replace former defensive stars Celso Ayala and Francisco Ayala as Paraguay's brightest players. Paraguay are the underdogs in this group, and if they have some luck, could cause Sweden a real shock. The last team in the group, Trinidad & Tobago, could also stir up a rude awakening. They are not fancied to do well, and I think that's what will inspire T&T to show what they're made of. I think T&T have great teamwork, and Dwight Yorke will relish gracing the grandest stage of all for the first time in his colourful career. T&T might have the capacity to punish the other teams on the counter-attack, and at the very least cause Paraguay a host of problems if the Paraguayans are desperate enough to throw people forward in order to attain a superior goal difference. Of course, I'm a realist; at the very most, T&T will spoil the party for one of the three other teams, and have fun along the way with snappy passing and persistent attacking. It will be fun to watch veterans Russell Latapy and Stern John and even youngster Christopher Birchall bring the carnival atmosphere that embodies T&T to the World Cup.

PREDICTION: England to beat Paraguay 1-0, Sweden to beat T&T 3-1. England to beat T&T 4-2, Sweden and Paraguay to draw 1-1. England and Sweden to draw 2-2, Paraguay to beat T&T 2-1. England and Sweden will advance. Paraguay could possibly cause a surprise against Sweden.

--

[GROUP C] Another fucking solid group here; Argentina, The Netherlands, Ivory Coast, and Serbia & Montenegro. Two heavyweights in world football against two teams hoping to make their mark on the biggest platform there is. Man, this group is going to provide some great action. Let's start with Argentina first. You all know their history. You all know about the legendary Maradona and the prolific Batistuta. You all know how Argentina have failed to live up to their billing in recent times. And you all know how they are, once again, considered top contenders to the throne. This year, the Argentinians truly have a squad capable of blowing the competition away. Hernan Crespo will lead the attack with Javier Saviola, but the rise of the likes of Lionel Messi and Carlos Tevez has me very excited for Argentina. Their midfield is equally as impressive; Scaloni, Aimar, Riquelme, and Cambiasso are all talented fuckers. Defenders like Sorin, Cufre, Ayala and Heinze will no doubt make it hard for any team to get a whiff at goal. All in all, Argentina have a squad full of potential. Seriously, they're loaded. Of course, the question is there: can they live up to the greatness of Argentina circa 1978 and 1986? Perhaps a better question is, will they choke? Argentina crumbled under heavy expectations in 2002. This is 2006, though, and I believe Argentina have all the credentials needed to go all the way. I'm especially looking forward to their showdown with The Netherlands. Now, touching on The Netherlands is a touchy subject. Mainly because I have supported them and felt they should have something to their name for all their solid play over the years. I was especially crushed when they didn't end up winning Euro 2004 after coming desperately close. Will this be the time for The Netherlands to shine? I hope so. Ruud van Nistelrooy is one of my favourite players and I really want him to do well in the tournament. He needs to regain some of his form that he showed in his first season at Manchester United. I am also looking forward to watching new generation players like Arjen Robben, Rafael van der Vaart, Dirk Kuyt, and Johnny Heitinga take the field with so much at stake. For some of the older players (Van Der Sar, Cocu, Bronckhorst)... it is probably their last chance at stardom. I'm gutted that stars like Kluivert and Hasselbaink won't be playing but perhaps it's for the best. I think the Dutch finally have a side with the right kind of mix of experience and exuberance that will propel them to greatness. Maybe even surpass Cruyff's team from the 1970s. Of course, this is a very tough group, and the Dutch will need to play it smart if they want to avoid a spectacular exit. Serbia & Montenegro is the third team in the group, and I'm going to avoid the whole Yugoslavia issue. Going to get straight to the point; S&M have a very strong defence. Mladen Krstajic and Nemanja Vidic will marshall the backline with confidence and aggression. Combine this with the attacking prowress of guys like Dusan Basta, Savo Milosevic, Mateja Kezman, Dejan Stankovic, and giant Nikola Zigic... and you have a team absolutely difficult to beat. This basically means that Argentina and The Netherlands will need to come up with something special to ensure that S&M don't sneak in at one of those two teams' expense. And then, there is the small matter of the African team with so much promise in Ivory Coast. I look at their team, and have to admit that on the whole, the Ivoriens have a squad capable of shaking the foundation of the football world. Didier Drogba will lead his team with all guns a-blazin', and really... Ivory Coast have nothing to lose. That's what makes them so bloody dangerous. Also factor in the individual talents of players like Kolo Toure and Bonaventure Kalou and even Guy Demel. What does this mean? Simple; Ivory Coast, while playing at their first World Cup Finals, might just ruffle some feathers. I can't wait to see how Group C turns out because quite frankly, it is the group to watch. Plus, there's some history with The Netherlands and Argentina (WC 1998). OH WAIT, remember Yugoslavia/Netherlands at Euro 2004?! Okay, sure, it's Serbia & Montenegro now but they've got some of the same players! JESUS, this group is going to rock so damn hard.

PREDICTION: Argentina to beat Ivory Coast 2-1, The Netherlands to beat S&M 3-2. Argentina to beat S&M 1-0, The Netherlands to draw with Ivory Coast 1-1. S&M to beat Ivory Coast 1-0, The Netherlands to beat Argentina 2-1. All my predictions will end up wrong because I really don't want any team to lose any of their matches. But seriously, screw those scorelines; all I know is... Argentina and The Netherlands will survive.

--

[GROUP D] Now, this group is totally wide open. Portugal, Iran, Angola, and Mexico make up Group D. I'm not very keen on this group, but here we are anyways. Let's start with Mexico. They are always capable of giving a good show. And with two lightweight teams in the group, Mexico will fancy their chances of going as far as... say, the QFs? In years gone by, though, the Mexicans have flattered to deceive. If they are indeed to reach the QFs, it will be for the first time they have done so when the tournament was not held on their homeground. In my mind, however, Mexico do have a good team that will impress many people. One of their youngsters, Francisco Fonseca, will do very well at the tournament. That is my belief, at least. Anyways, with Jared Borgetti leading the attack, players such as Mario Mendez and Rafael Garcia will have the opportunity to shine and lead Mexico out of Group D in second place. Who will be in first place? Portugal. Okay, they messed up badly at 2002. But look at who their manager is now. SCOLARI. The man's a tactical genius. Sure, bring up his narrow defeat to Greece in the Final of Euro 2004. I just need to remind you the good he's done with Portugal since he's taken over. He's transformed a side with potential into a team with no one to stop them but themselves. Cristiano Ronaldo is the man to watch. Alongside him will be the remainder of the famous veterans of Portugal folklore, who will look at this tournament as their absolute last chance to win the big one. Figo, Pauletta, and the rest of the gang must have felt so sad when they lost to Greece at Euro 2004. Now, they have one final hurrah to look forward to. Portugal should easily cruise past Iran and Angola to top the group, and if they do well enough... may find history beckoning for them. Angola has already made history, qualifying for the World Cup for the first time. They are not rated highly, though. In fact, they are the only lightweight team not capable of causing any sort of upset, according to most critics. What do I say? There's truth to that statement, but I think they still could pose some problems -- especially for Iran and Mexico. Antiono Lebo Lebo is a good defender who is something of a hidden gem in the team, along with Paulo Figueiredo and Fabrice Akwa who will spearhead most of Angola's attacking plays. Look for Angola to at least produce some pretty football. Lastly, we have Iran. Always a tough team to play against, most people would say. Iran is always capable of putting up a fight against many European teams, and with Ali Daei back to create hell for defences... Iran has an outside shot of doing some worthwhile damage. Ali Karimi is Iran's most crucial player, however. Don't rule out Karimi turning some heads at the tournament. Ferydoon Zandi, a hardworking midfielder, will also feature prominently for the Iranians. All in all, though, this group is rather clear-cut. Stranger things have happenned, though.

PREDICTION: Mexico to beat Iran 2-1, Portugal to trash Angola 4-0. Mexico to beat Angola 4-1, Portugal to beat Iran 3-1. Iran to beat Angola 3-1, Portugal to beat Mexico 1-0. Portugal and Mexico should have no problems advancing, but Iran might yet pull something of a shock against Mexico.

--

There you have it. Just so you know, I'm backing Argentina to win what has transpired so far. And also because they have an immensely talented squad. The road to the final for the Argentinians, however, could be very tough. Nonetheless, I'd love to see them win the whole damn thing. I genuinely think they have a good chance.

OUT.

"if you're a psychic, how come you have to count it?"

2006-06-12T18:00:00.000+08:00

Well, it's official. Over is the watchword.

Sabrina and I had been bickering since last Thursday over our situation... and yesterday morning, after mashing it out for about six or seven hours (since the wee hours of the morning), I told Sabrina that it was best to end it. Too much hassle over something that shouldn't even be a sodding issue. And since a compromise couldn't be reached, there was really only one outcome. I didn't want to do it, don't get me wrong. I fought so hard to try and talk some sense into Sabrina, but her precious DADDY deserves an award for the quickest brainwashing in history. She started defending him, when she would usually question his motives and tactics.

I was in a pretty crappy mood yesterday, and all these feelings of despair just invaded my fucking brain. It didn't have to turn out this way. It's not fair. Then again, life isn't exactly fair, innit? Still, everything was PERFECT. Sabrina and I were having the times of our lives. Even with all the restrictions she was bound to, we always found a way to cut ourselves loose and have bags of fun. Now, in a matter of weeks, cloud nine has turned into a giant pile of steaming shit. What makes the matter difficult to swallow and take in stride is the simple fact that Sabrina... was special. Incredibly special. She grew to love my idiosyncrasies and put up with my volatile temper. She made room in her life for me.

Now, it's gone. Vanished. I have the need to vent out all this anger, but what my mind tells me to do is the complete opposite: to put on a brave face, keep on cracking jokes and goofing around, and try to forget about the nastiness of the situation until it's time to hit the sack. And that is exactly what I did today. The trouble is, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for acting everything is fucking a-okay, when it clearly isn't. I'm supposed to act mature and be calm, in the face of something so fucking gut-wrenching? That's akin to pissing on all the fucking memories I've shared with her.

Bloody fucking HELL. I hate this feeling. I hate the circumstances. I hate the outcome. But, I still love her. Paradox, much?

OUT.

"excuse me for not being pathetic enough to want to sit next to some crying baby for the next fifteen hours."

2006-06-08T01:42:00.001+08:00

Remember my entry a week or so ago, regarding an article I'd written about World Cup 1994? It seems as if that article will indeed grace the main page of the site I talked about (The Sports Oratory) next week, as part of the continuous stream of coverage during this year's edition of the World Cup!

Currently, however, the Sports Oratory has two pieces that previews the upcoming World Cup during the group phase. The first piece covers Groups A through D, and the second piece covers Groups E through H. I'm part of the team that worked on the first piece, under the name Gustavo. You can check out the article here to read what I have to say about the teams in Groups A through D, as well as some other expert opinions from other people. My contribution in the article, however, was cut short just a wee bit... due to me writing so damn much. So, in that vein, I'm going to post my entire piece, un-edited, here over the coming days. And I will start with Group A, since the tournament kicks off tomorrow with the first two matches involving all four teams from Group A.

Alrighty then, Group A comprises of teams not highly-ranked in the minds of many experts. Costa Rica, Ecuador, Poland, and hosts Germany make up the group. Only one of these teams has championship credentials at this stage, and the decline of German football has been talked about for many years. Even as they inched their way towards the final with Brazil in the 2002 edition of the World Cup, many people were claiming that the era of great techinical football by the Germans had ended in the late 1990s. But, you should never write off the Germans. Especially when they have the homeground advantage and the expertise of the legendary (and currently unpopular) Jurgen Klinsmann. Forget all the rumours about scandals and problems in the German camp; they have a team once again capable of making it all the way to the winner's podium at the end of the tournament. To star with, all three of their goalkeepers are great -- and Lehmann will definitely want to prove himself after what happened in the Champions League Final several weeks ago. Defensively, Germany look a bit lightweight with all the star defenders of yesteryear having passed on already, but I think Huth will shine for them. Going forward, I do not think Germany have a problem; Klose's a proven goal-getter, Hitzlsperger is incredibly dynamic for a midfielder his age, and Chelsea-bound Ballack is the current golden boy of German football. If Germany are to succeed, it will be because of Ballack.

Moving on; Poland, who were impressive during their qualification for the World Cup, will not do well. Why am I making such a bold statement? Yes, the team is slowly rebuilding after a poor showing at World Cup 2002, and have managed to do so to some extent. Without their top goalkeeper in Dudek, however, I simply don't think they have much of a shot. Dudek, whether you like him or not, is one of THE best Polish players around... and it boggles the mind as to why he's been outcast from the team. Still, with their two versatile attackers in Maciej Zurawski (who has done very well at Celtic FC this year as Henrik Larsson's replacement) and Ebi Smolarek (a vital player for Borussia Dortmund as of late), Poland may still have more firepower than the two so-called minnows of Group A.

Of course, I don't personally think Costa Rica -- the third team in the mix -- are minnows at all. They might be guilty of inconsistency over the last couple of years, but their flamboyant style of play makes it very difficult to rule them out. Costa Rica impressed me during World Cup 2002, with regards to their attacking prowress (I still remember how they scored TWO goals against Brazil). Their defence was always been a problem, and I think it could be their biggest drawback again this time around. However, they do have a new face in defence in Michael Umana who stood out immensely when Costa Rica made the quarter-finals of the Olympics soccer tournament... so, he'll be one to watch out for. Costa Rica can also bank on Paulo Wanchope -- who considers this year's World Cup as his swansong -- and midfield general Walter Centeo to deliver the goods for them. Like I alluded to and confirming now, I have faith that Costa Rica will have enough to edge out Poland and Ecuador and claim the second spot.

Speaking of Ecuador, I have been accused of grossly underrating the final team from Group A. Sure, they had an exquisite qualifying campaign (beating both Brazil and Argentina along the way)... but you only need to look at the statistics to realise that they traditionally perform better against South American teams. I am willing to admit, however, that the current squad -- a blend of ageing stars that have made Ecuador a more formidable threat than they've ever been and young stalwarts -- does have the capacity to surprise everyone and silence their critics. Edison Mendez, their star midfielder, is Ecuador's brighest player and he has a great opportunity to expand his playmaking horizons on the grandest stage of them all. Another player to watch out for is Agustin Delgado, who shot to fame in 2002 as Ecuador's top marksman. Some say that was his peak, and that Delgado doesn't have what it takes anymore. It's true, he's a bit worn out by injuries... but I wouldn't rule out Agustin being used as a substitute and causing mass havoc to Ecuador's benefit. On the whole, though, Ecuador's squad is pretty lightweight compared to my favourites in the group.

PREDICTION: Germany to beat Costa Rica 2-1, Ecuador and Poland to draw 1-1. Ecuador and Costa Rica to draw 2-2, Germany to beat Poland 1-0. Germany to beat Ecuador 3-1, Costa Rica to beat Poland 2-1. Germany and Costa Rica will advance. Ecuador and Poland both have chances to squeeze through.

Thoughts? Criticisms? You know what to do, folks. For now, I'm going to hit the sack. The only things keeping me sane at this tough time is writing and sleep. Oh, and odd dreams involving a tractor running over small children. Yeah, you try to make sense of that and get back to me. I'd really appreciate it.

OUT.

"are you trying to be a pig or does it just come naturally?"

2006-06-07T19:10:00.000+08:00

I have been at a crossroads recently regarding whether I should further my studies or not. With my flexible (sort of) schedule, there's been contemplation about perhaps taking a part-time diploma course. Sure, I may have two diplomas already... but I have big plans for when I start working. My aim is to be earning a sizable amount of money by the time I'm 30, which would then allow me to set money aside for my future family and whatnot. I mean, I respect my Dad and all... but he's past 50 and still working full-time (this stems from financial troubles we were having in the late 1990s and my costly tertiary education fees). It irks me. I don't want to be in that boat unless I really need to be. For a while, I was thinking of doing a management course at SIM. Then, one of my friends from way back suggested a diploma course in mass communications (which would include journalism -- something I'm obviously interested in) at MDIS. At the same time, MDIS came up with several new international diploma courses for tourism/hospitality, just as I was beginning to think about a higher diploma course in hotel management at SHATEC. After a while, I decided that the money I'd have to fork out was going to probably kill me for the next two years and I didn't need the added stress of studying for exams again.

Just two days ago, however, I received a letter from SHATEC. A formal invitation to take up the higher diploma course in hotel management. Surprisingly, my parents have said that if the course is designed to accomodate someone in the midst of their NS, they'd be willing to help out with the course fees (which is quite expensive). I've thought about it, and I will call SHATEC by week's end to officially declare my interest. Only thing that remains a problem is whether someone currently still trapped in the Army is able to pursue the course without any major complications.

Yesterday, I went back to Bedok Camp. I was supposed to be there for the 1000 lesson and the 1330 lesson. But, because of the fear of MISTER OHK being at Bedok Camp for the NDP preparations, I had to report there early. Which meant helping out for the 0800 lesson. Even after the 1330 lesson ended, myself and Reubz weren't allow to go. Mainly due to the fact that some high-ranking officials from the Indonesian Army were coming to visit. And they would be present for the 1530 lesson. Which meant all of us who were teaching -- including WILLIAM~ and SQ -- had to act important and such. Pretty fun stuff. What wasn't fun, however, was how late we left. After our lesson, we had to report to MISTER OHK and stay until he'd finished the NDP committments for the day. By the time I left, it was 1805. I couldn't be bothered to deal with the hassle of bus and trains, so Joe (a batch-mate of mine who's involved in the NDP training) and I took the easy way out: via a taxi. Haha. The taxi driver was hilarious, too. Kept talking to me about the upcoming World Cup.

For the most part of yesterday evening, I quarelled with Sabrina over the phone. Long story short, I have no idea what the future of our relationship is. Hell, Sabrina doesn't even know what she wants to do. So, whatever. We'll see. I don't want to talk about that unpleasantness anymore; today was a great day! I went to Hendon Camp today, for the second-last day of the Unarmed Combat training for the commandoes-to-be. Today was their mock grading, and it was pretty eye-opening. By the time it was all said and done, it was only 1120. And according to Tim (who has been at Hendon Camp for several weeks now), he and Junior (one of my other senior instructors) have enjoyed quite a number of half-days. To top it all off, I got a motorcyle ride from one of the PTIs! I haven't been on a motorbike since I was a wee lad, and the adrenaline rush from just being a mere passenger was astounding. Makes me almost want to consider getting a motorbike myself. Not sure if my parents would go for it, however. Ah well. Anyways, I was home by 1145... after a couple of hours of bumming around, I eventually fell asleep. Spent the whole afternoon sleeping, too. Heck, I just woke up about an hour ago.

Tonight, I was supposed to go out with Sabrina. Of course, due to what has happened in recent days, that plan has been scrapped. She did say she wanted to hang out for a while, though, so we shall see how that pans out. Hopefully, I can straighten out this entire situation with her. I have no desire to end our great run now. I'm thinking she feels the same way... but the damndest thing is, I can't be sure.

EDIT: One of my previous entries isn't showing up. I'm not sure why this is the case; it's been a lingering problem for some time now. Will aim to rectify this situation soon. Or else, somebody's going to get an arse-whooping.

OUT.

"don't tell me what i can't do!"

2006-06-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

It is often said that a relationship that can survive any sort of adversity, regardless of how insurmountable it may seem, is a relationship that will be everlasting and never waver under any circumstance. I used to think that about my relationship with Sabrina. Compared to some of my other relationships over the past four or five years, this journey with Sabrina has been immensely special and tons of fun. In recent times, though, Sabrina's Dad has become very involved in our relationship. And due to his insanely high standards, it seems nobody she goes out with is ever good enough for him.

Yesterday night, I had a chance to alter the opinion Sabrina's Dad may have had for me. For one, he considers me unusually unruly and hooligan-like. He's also accused me of influencing his daughter to stay out late and whatnot. I didn't think I could keep a straight face while trying to refute the first point, so I went directly to the second point during the discussional showdown about my relationship with his daughter last night. To some extent, I believe I got through to him. I managed to change a man with a sour disposition from earlier in the evening to having a more relaxed and upbeat time in just chilling out. Even Sabrina and her sister were surprised. Of course, I was wary about having early celebrations.

After the dinner and watching some television, Sabrina's Dad suddenly announced he wanted to take me for a drive. So, we went. I felt incredibly awkward, to be brutally honest. The first few minutes were silence-filled, until the man started to switch radio stations. He asked my thoughts about a particular song, and during the entire trip down to Punggol (don't ask me why he decided to drive there), we had a meaningful conversation about the current state of music. It felt weird. Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he made a U-turn and started driving back towards Pasir Ris. To begin with, Dear Ol' Daddy explained very explicitly that he did not care for any of his daughters getting into serious relationships until they were in their mid-20s. This, I already knew from Sabrina. He also remarked about he didn't trust Asian guys. Another fact I already knew beforehand.

What I did not know that he revealed to me then and there, was that when Dear Ol' Daddy took his two girls to The Netherlands for holiday in April... he had several ulterior motives. One of them was to start the long process of a possible arranged relationship (which would lead to marriage) with the son of a wealthy Dutch prospector that Dear Ol' Daddy did regular business with. This bit of information literally blew me away and confounded me. I was without speech for a whole minute. Then, he got really rude and said that by me going out with Sabrina and lasting as long as I have with her, I have ruined his future plans for Sabrina.

That is where I started to argue back. I told him, flat out, that Sabrina is capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to go out with me, then there should be no problems. Dear Ol' Daddy, to his credit, had something really vindictive to shoot back at me: if that's the case then I'll just influence her to make some decisions that's right for her. In a meandering sort of way, he implied that he was going to make Sabrina realise that going out with me isn't the right thing to do. And as we arrived at my house, he laid out two options for me before I left. Either I break up with her, or Dear Ol' Daddy will make his precious Sabrina break up with me. That was it. I just shook my head as I exited his car and dragged my feet up to my house.

Earlier this morning, on my way work, I was still coming to terms with what had been laid down for me. Sabrina called me and told me that Dear Ol' Daddy had repeated everything he said in the car to me. I'm thinking with the exception of the arranged relationship with the Dutch boy, of course. I talked to Sabrina for a while over this matter and while she was adamant that she didn't want to end our relationship, I could sense a tinge of loyalty for her Dad. Naturally, the man must have used his charm to sow the seeds for her eventually breaking up with me. Whatever. It's not over until it's over, and I'm going to fight this thing all the way.

Nothing spectacular happened today. Went for the 0800 lesson at Bedok Camp, then indulged in some LAN gaming during the obscenely long break. It at least took my mind off of things, and reminded me how I never got fully immersed in the LAN gaming craze during my younger days. Spent a lot of money today, though. Also found a new comics shop at Katong, which should bode both well and not well for me. Ah, fuck it, my pay is coming in soon. It's time to spoil myself and live life a little bit more dangerously. The afternoon lesson at Bedok Camp was at 1530, which meant I only got back home at around 1810. Very tired now; not because of the physical exertions of the day... but more due to the incredulity what I have to do to keep my relationship with Sabrina alive. Why does it have to be this way? What the heck am I supposed to do now?

OUT.

"shut up and stop trying to be charming."

2006-06-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

It's been another carefree Sunday for me. I woke up rather late this afternoon, and the first thing I did was to laugh. Not sure why. Perhaps it's because of the weird set of dreams I've been having as of late. Or maybe it's because I arose from my slumber just in time for lunch. Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll won't be laughing much for the rest of the day.

Of course, I'm referring to my meeting with Sabrina's dear ol' Dad later on. I'm sure there will be fireworks galore and whatnot, but I'm trying to remain as calm as possible. No use overthinking the situation; I can't change the fact that her Dad has to resort to such measures to ensure I'm worthy enough of dating his daughter. I'm just going to be on my best behaviour and see how things pan out. Whatever the ramifications may be as a result of today's meeting, I'll deal with them. This is what I guaranteed Sabrina. As long as she's in, I'm in. We'll be in together. She grinned when I told her that exact sentence. Hopefully, she'll be grinning tonight. For some reason, she has a bad feeling. That isn't a good sign, is it?

Meh, whatever. Like I said, I'm not going to focus much on it anymore. Time to think happy thoughts. Oh, look, a bunny! YAY! Okay, seriously now, veering away from the gloom and doom of the current topic... I have a full week of work to look forward to this coming week. And it appears as if I will be spending the whole week at Bedok Camp, save for Thursday at Hendon Camp. This shall provide me a platform to brush up on my ICCT and ACCT knowledge. It's been so long since I've taught something other than BCCT techniques; I honestly feel weird that I'll be teaching other stuff to a whole different batch of NS personnel this week. On one hand, I'm thinking I want to avoid directly teaching this week. On the other hand, I know that will not reflect well on me and I *want* to try my hand at teaching ICCT and ACCT techniques. The trouble is, I'm only sure of half of the ACCT techniques and maybe three techniques in the entire ICCT package. Here's to hoping I don't make a complete arse of myself this week, eh? Man, I can't wait to go back to Tekong at the end of June.

Oh, and in another bit of television-related news, I was pleasantly surprised just twenty minutes ago. I turned on the television and channel-surfed to the main local channel... and got a shock of my life when I saw the pilot episode of Veronica Mars was airing! Never in my wildest dreams did I think a show like Veronica Mars would even air on local programming. Well done, Mediacorp. You've made me dislike you a little less. Sure, I may have all the episodes from the show's two seasons all on my computer already... but a step in the right direction, nonetheless. If you all didn't know, Veronica Mars is a show set in a wealthy seaside community of Neptune, where the rich and powerful make the rules, own the town & the high school and desperately try to keep their dirty little secrets just that -- secret. Unfortunately for them, there's Veronica Mars; a smart, fearless 18-year-old apprentice private investigator, who negotiates the halls of Neptune High each day like any average teenage girl, while at night helps her private-eye father uncover some of the California beach town's toughest mysteries. The show starts off at a breakneck pace and remains intense for the first season, as Veronica tries to solve the riddling mystery of who killed her best friend. There are tons of other underlying sub-plots scattered throughout each episode, making it a real treat to watch. This is yet another show I recommend you all go out of your way to get your hands on. The good news is, I saw the DVD set of the first season on sale at HMV. The bad news is, it's very expensive. So, do what I do.

And if you don't know what I do, you should go and read some of my previous entries. I'm an outlaw, yes, but I'm not going to run the risk of airing my illegal activities over and over again! I'm not THAT dense, you know. =]

OUT.

"i thought the guy with the gimpy leg should be deciding when we rest?"

2006-06-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

Yay, today is my brother's birthday. He's 20. Which means I will turn 23 later this year. It's so fucking sad; 23 and I'll still be in the god-damned Army. And people wonder why I have every intention to start working almost immediately after my service in the Army concludes. I have to start winning the bread for the family, and 350 measely bucks a month is barely enough for MY NEEDS. Blah. Screw being positive about NS. There's no upside to the whole damn thing.

Okay, whew. Time to let that settle. So, anywho, I just decided to do some cataloguing of the zillion video files on my computer and I was reminded of the fact that I had not touched the first season of Entourage since I watched the last episode of the season several days ago. I only got around to start watching this show in late March and due to some unforeseen circumstances (like my computer dying in April), it took a while for me to finish the season. Entourage is a pretty good show (nothing new for a HBO orginal), and it's not just because of the nudity. I would say that a good way to describe the show in a nutshell would be that it's the male version of Sex and the City. To further preface, Entourage is about a sexy young actor by the name of Vince Chase whose career is on the rise. To share the fun of the ride and keep him grounded, Vince looks to three of his childhood buddies from his old neighbourhood that have stuck with him through thick and thin: quasi-manager Eric, older brother Drama (also an actor who never quite hit the jackpot) and sleazebag Turtle (who's like a concierge for Vince when it comes to sex and booze and drugs) Together, they'll navigate the highs and lows of Hollywood's fast lane, where the stakes are higher and the money & temptations greater are too hard to resist. Just a couple of episodes into the first season, you'll realise that Vince's friends are living their lives vicariously through Vince himself... but despite that, all the central characters (including high-powered agent Ari Gold) have their own shortcomings and battles to fight. Ultimately, the show starts to focus on the relationship between all the central characters, and in the last episode of the first season, things reach a unsettling climax. Entourage is a really entertaining show with lots of eye-candy to boot (Jessica Alba is featured prominently in the second episode and local actress Jaymee Ong has a cameo in the fifth episode as a salesgirl who needs some weed).

So, if you guys can, get your hands on Entourage. I doubt the DVDs are sold in Singapore, which means you can either buy them from eBay.com or resort to downloading them off of Limewire (not that I support piracy *ahem*). The first season only has eight episodes, by the way. Generally, most shows on HBO have only thirteen episodes in one season, which makes the plot progression and character development in these shows all the more stunning to witness. Man, I love my HBO shows. Surprising for someone that doesn't even have HBO on his cable subscription, innit? Ha.

As I think about the problems I currently have on the table, I have reached a decision: today's going to just be a very lazy day for me. All I aim to do is write, watch movies, celebrate my brother's birthday, and worry about the big showdown with Sabrina's Dad tomorrow night. Yeah, that is all on my agenda today. I don't even have the mood to go out and throw stones at random people, much less go and watch a movie or have dinner at a fancy restaurant. Besides, considering the way I've been spending my money as of late, I suspect I will need to tighten the purse strings for a couple of weeks. That sounds like a lot of fun, eh? =[

OUT.

"it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it."

2006-06-02T23:14:00.000+08:00

Next week, the World Cup Finals 2006 finally get underway. And every football fan on the face of this planet simply can't wait. Neither can I. In accordance with this and my desire to branch out my writing, I quickly put fingers to keyboard on a piece that achieves two objectives: it sums up why I love the game of football and it also offers a recap of my first World Cup tournament which was the 1994 edition.

I must admit, I also wrote the piece for another motive. I am hoping to get 'published' on a site dedicated to sporting articles; this site is called The Sports Oratory and it covers a variety of sports... not just football, mind you. Anyways, enough jibber-jabber. Read on:

THROUGH MY EYES: THE APPEAL OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME
Unless you've been living under a very big rock for the last 10 months or so, you'd know that the World Cup Finals 2006 are just around the corner. Even people who aren't football enthusiasts know this, and they watch on in awe as millions upon millions of people get swept up in the passion and the drama that one whole month of non-stop football action offers.

Let's face it, the World Cup is usually a time where you get together with friends and cheer on your favourite team. Or, you meet supporters of a team you absolutely loathe, and up to the final whistle, continue to verbally run down the players on the opposing team as if they had done some major harm to you in a previous life. On occasion, you get lucky and earn some money via a couple of smartly-placed bets. The opposite of that, of course, would be crying over an empty wallet coinciding with your favourite team packing up and going home early.

No matter how you slice it, the World Cup is a bona fide melting pot of emotions. Happiness, despair, triumph, confusion; you name it, the World Cup has it. I reckon it has more drama than your regular soap opera. Probably the reason why it's the most-watched sporting event whenever it rolls around. Yes, the World Cup Finals garners more viewership than the Olympics; there's a fun fact for you. Of course, whenever I tell a group of people that I am indeed a fan of football (of the non-American flavour), I always have two or three people in the group expressing their disgust over my passion.

And they all ask me the same thing: why exactly is the World Cup, and football for that matter, so exciting to watch?

It's more complicated than have twenty-two men running around on a field, chasing a ball so that they can kick it into each other's net and score a point and hug each other in a quasi-gay manner. It's all about honour and pride. It's about having the skill and the audacity to do outrageous things with a football nobody else ever dreams of doing. It's about, on a non-international level, the prestige of a club's history. Which then leads to material aspects like sponsorship and revenue and the fanbase of a club.

Football is a sport that truly engulfs the lives of every single person. From the manager of an international team to a coach of a club team to even the groundsman of a particular stadium. And in the World Cup Finals, the beautiful game is represented on the highest level. The football field becomes akin to a arena where men do battle for bragging rights and of course, the all-mighty victory.

I always like to think back to the first time I had the pleasure of catching the World Cup Finals unfold. It was nearly 12 years ago, in the summer of 1994, when the tournament was hosted in the USA. At the time, I was travelling with my family and was very keen on catching the tournament. I even had this magazine that I procured from an airport that basically gave previews for all the group matches and in-depth analysis on every single team that was taking part, right down to their qualification route. I was pumped. It didn't even matter that due to the timezone difference, I'd be watching football matches in the hotel room in the wee hours of the morning.

Hell, my Dad simply told me to keep the volume down (and to be able to get enough rest so that I wouldn't be wiped when we went sightseeing the day after). So, with my trusty magazine by my side, I stayed up night after night to catch the group matches. One by one, I started to form opinions on who I wanted to win and who deserved to win based on their teamwork and whatnot. Right off the bat, I recall my favourite team being Brazil. Their style of play -- combining fancy individual ability with overpowering team unity -- caught my eye without much hesitation. I also remember taking a liking towards Italy (commonly known as The Azzuri by Italians).

Of course, there were many other strong teams in the tournament. Like in Group A of the tournament, for example. The hosts, USA, were lumped in there with two heavyweights in the form of Romania and Colombia, as well as surprise entrant Switzerland. Many Americans probably thought their USA team had a shot of squeezing into the 2nd Round... and they were almost correct. USA got off to a promising start with a draw against Switzerland, while Romania made the Colombians look ridiculous with a 3-1 drubbing. Switzerland proceeded to produce a shock several days after their first game, beating Romania 4-1! That heaped on pressure on the Americans, but somehow (and thanks to an own-goal from the late Andres Escobar who was murdered for his own-goal) they managed to beat Colombia 2-1. Alas, the USA team couldn't overpower Romania in their last group game... and Switzerland joined Romania in the 2nd Round, even as they lost to an already-eliminated Colombia.

Group B included the favourites of the tournament, Brazil, alongside three relatively lightweight teams: Sweden, Russia, and Cameroon. Cameroon had done a lot to raise the profile of African football in the 1990 tournament by going all the way to the Quarter Finals... but this time around, they simply didn't perform. I watched in awe as an unfancied Russian team murdered them 6-1, thanks to a five-goal salvo by Oleg Salenko. However, Russia couldn't hold up in their matches against Sweden and Brazil. It was rather early in the tournament, but the Romario-Bebeto-Rai combination of Brazil was already proving to be immensely deadly.

Group C was a rather dull affair, compared to the other groups following it. Germany showed their prowress as they easily swept Bolivia away before fighting tooth and nail to earn a draw with the highly-rated Spainards. South Korea, the virtual underdogs, managed to secure a thrilling draw with Spain in their first match. They followed up with another draw with the Bolivians, condemning the South American team to last place. Then, in their last match, South Korea gave the Germans a fright as they came from 0-3 down to make the final score 2-3. In my view, South Koreans would learn from their experience in the 1994 tournament immensely and that is what paved the way for their remarkable showing in the 2002 tournament. But, I digress; Germany and Spain easily progressed to the 2nd Round.

Now, Group D was a treat to watch. You had the fancied Argentinians, two-times winner of the World Cup, going up against three unfancied teams: debutants in Nigeria and Greece, and European lightweight Bulgaria. Argentina got off to a great start, crushing Greece 4-0 thanks to Batistuta (the new golden boy for Argentina) and the legendary Diego Maradona. Nigeria too raced off the starting blocks, easily beating Bulgaria first and then giving Argentina a real run for their money in a tough match. Shockingly, Nigeria ended up topping the group, when Argentina somehow lost to Bulgaria in their final group game. Greece ended up going home without a single point while the other three teams qualified for the 2nd Round.

There was to be more drama in Group E, however. Italy managed to screw up and lost their first game to the Republic of Ireland, who were not given much chance of progressing. Mexico, another favoured team, lost to the Norwegians in a see-saw game. This set the stage for all four teams to go all out in their remaining group games. In the end, all four teams ended up with FOUR POINTS. Truly amazing. Who would progress was decided by goal difference (or rather, which team had scored more goals since all four teams were also dead equal in goal difference); thankfully for Italy, they scrapped through just ahead of Norway, who were simply very unlucky to be packing their bags so early on after a promising performance. Mexico and Republic of Ireland too advanced from Group E.

In the final group, which was Group F, the situation ended up being exactly like Group D. The powerful Dutch team beat Morocco and Saudi Arabia without much trouble but lost to their rivals Belgium in a thrilling contest. Saudi Arabia managed to beat Morocco (and thereby effectively eliminate them), before producing a shocking victory over Belgium thanks to a wonderful solo goal from Saeed Owairan. Belgium had managed to do enough to qualify along with The Netherlands and Saudi Arabia, though. Still, all eyes were on Saudi Arabia as they were the only team from Asia still surviving in the tournament.

After all of that, the heat was on. The knockout aspect of the tournament was now in effect for the 2nd Round. Most of the heavyweights won their matches without much fanfare; Brazil beat the hosts USA by a single goal, the Netherlands continued their search of their first World Cup with victory over Republic of Ireland, Italy once again had to struggle to put Nigeria away wth an extra-time goal, Germany topped Belgium in a fantastic match that ended 3-2 in favour of the Germans, and Spain started to flex their muscles with a easy 3-0 victory over Switzerland. Argentina? Not only did their star Maradona get involved in a drug scandal, but they performed horribly in their match against Romania and lost 2-3. Sweden ended Saudi Arabia's hopes with a 3-1 win, but Bulgaria continued their good form with a win over Mexico in a penalty shootout.

This set the stage for the Quarter Finals. Many people were now thinking Brazil and Spain looked to be the two teams that had the most momentum. Germany, reigning Champions, were also looking comfortable. In an excellent showdown, Brazil beat The Netherlands 3-2 with all the goals coming in the second half. Sweden beat Romania on penalties after a 2-2 draw in normal time, booking a date with Brazil in the Semi-Finals. Germany, however, were upset by Bulgaria with two solid goals. The dream for Klinsmann was over. Italy finally showed some of their spark in a gritty encounter with Spain, and ended up winning thanks to a very late goal two minutes from time by their star Roberto Baggio. It was then and there that many people knew what the Final would be. Of course, there was still the matter of the Semi-Finals.

Italy didn't have much trouble beating the hardened Bulgarians in the Semi-Final, all thanks to two great goals from Roberto Baggio in the first half. The Bulgarians rallied back, and after they got their first goal... I seriously thought they were going to go all the way. I was quite happy to see Italy hold on, and I was falling in love with the phenomenon that was Roberto Baggio. Brazil, however, had a much harder time against Sweden. I was frustrated with their sloppy play in the first half, and in my mind, the Brazilians were VERY FORTUNATE to have Romario's sharp instincts force a goal ten minutes from the end. I remember it could have all gone so horribly wrong for Brazil, as the Swedish kept exposing many holes in their defence. But hey, the Final had been settled: the two most interesting teams in the whole tournament were about to do battle.

In the 3rd Place Playoff, Sweden demonstrated their continuing good form with a comprehensive victory over Bulgaria. I felt sorry for the Bulgarians, as they'd achieved what many people thought they couldn't and reached the Semi-Finals. They would have wanted to end the tournament in a more fitting fashion; alas, they did not put up much of a fight. Still, my mind was fixated on the final. Two teams, three Championships each. This was to be a Final for the ages, and one team -- for the first time ever -- would lay claim to their fourth World Cup. I was practically drooling as the match finally kicked off.

You know what they say, though. Get your hopes up for a wonderful game, and you will most likely be disappointed. Not to say it was utterly boring, but when you have two teams as good as Brazil and Italy were at the time, there was inevitably going to be a war of attrition. In short, both teams cancelled out each other. The action got exciting and desperate during extra time, but everybody knew there was not going to be a clear winner. The game would have to be settled by the cruel penalty shootout.

And it ended up being very cruel for one of the stars of the tournament, Roberto Baggio. His blasting of the penalty kick practically gave Brazil the Championship on a platter, and Brazil won the World Cup Finals for the fourth time. Great times for the likes of Romario and Bebeto and even captain Dunga... but not so good for the forlorn Roberto Baggio. During the post-match festivites, however, I realised the true meaning of the sport. It was then that I figured out why I liked football so much. The aforemention fusion of emotions you experience in any given game was especially prevalent in the Final of the 1994 tournament. One would be inclined to sympathise with Baggio... yet on the other hand, join in the jubilation shown by Romario as he lifted the World Cup high up in the air.

1994's edition of the World Cup Finals was my first. Since then, I've caught each installment with a lot of excitement and beer by my side. Why do I keep devoting so much time towards this beautiful game? Yes, it's for the beautiful action on the field and the drama of sudden-death football. More importantly, though, it's the human connection. The image of the crestfallen Roberto Baggio, as evil as it may sound, will always spur me on to watch football. It perfectly sums up what the World Cup is alllll about.

Well, all opinions and criticisms are most welcome. I've gotten positive feedback so far, for my first-ever article based on sports. This does not include compositions I wrote during my schooling days about football because... well, it doesn't and I don't remember them all that well. Probably for the best. Haha. =]

OUT.

"you know why they call it 'down under'? because it's closest to hell without getting burned."

2006-06-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

And just like that, it's the end of the working week for me. Bloody terrific, innit? Now, all I have to look forward to are the possibly deadly ramifications of something terribly misguided I did on Wednesday (don't want to talk about it) and the meeting with Sabrina's Dad on Sunday evening. Super.

I rolled into Pasir Laba Camp this morning, all ready to spend yet another day being a lazy fucker and doing nothing. However, just right before I was about to sign in, Azfar expressed surprise at me being there. When I pressed for more information, Azfar informed me that all personnel that were slated to be at HQ today was SUPPOSED to head to Bedok Camp to help out the people in our unit that are involved with the Army's National Day Parade committments. I wasn't told of this development, and after staying in the office for an hour, the boss (MISTER OHK) called and demanded I go down to Bedok Camp. It was only after I explained the situation fully and reminded him that I was on status did he relent and let me stay in HQ. So, I stayed and was further informed of our unit's plans for the afternoon: a running session at East Coast Park (which was to start 1530). This was both good and bad news for me. Good news was I didn't have to run, due to my status. Bad news was twofold; I wanted to run, and I'd have to attend the damn thing anyways to look after everyone's belongings.

Oh yeah, there was another bit of goodness to come out of this. At 1130, I left HQ. Believe me, I could have left earlier if I wanted to, with the other people that were at HQ this morning (which was only a handful). With soooo much free time on my hand, I decided to do a couple of things. I went to town and spoiled myself with the purchase of more comics. I think I made some ace purchases, and will be buying more comics in the future. Perhaps make it a monthly thing. I also bought a gift (finally) for my brother's birthday tomorrow; the DVD set of the seventh season of The Simpsons from HMV at The Heereen. Sure, it was expensive and I would have probably got it for much cheaper elsewhere (not saying where here)... but it wasn't a problem. I also bought a DVD for myself, which meant I'd spent about 130 bucks in the space of one hour. SWEET~!

Having finished early (and seen a former colleague of mine on the streets), I decided to trek to East Coast Park. And it was such a thrill getting to see my alma mater -- St. Patrick's Secondary. They have certainly done well for themselves after my batch left, judging by all the banners displaying their most recent accolades. Says something, doesn't it? Anyways, I made my way to the MacDonald's at East Coast Park to meet up with my batch-mates and seniors. Then, the majority of them went for the run while I and two other injured batch-mates of mine did 'guard duty'. By the time the whole running session finished and I got home, it was pretty damn late. Later than expected, at least. The highlight of my day was meeting Sabrina for a quick bite just now. We talked about what could possibly happen on Sunday, and it was a bittersweet conversation. I'm just hoping everything goes smoothly.

Now, I'm going to read comics and do some writing. And maybe clean my damn room; it's getting messy again. I swear, I need to be more aware of my surroundings and start becoming a little more independent than I already am. I'm 22 fucking years old. If I was an American, I'd be teased for still staying with my parents. Bah, what do those wacky Americans know? Staying with your parents until you get married is quite possibly the smartest thing you can do. Just as long as you contribute around the household and do your own laundry. Stuff like that.

OUT.

"i don't know my own bloody blood type!"

2006-06-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

Ahhh, the month of June. This signifies the midpoint of the year. And with each passing month, I look forward to being released from the grip of the Army. Of course, there are still 15 more months to go before I finish my NS obligation... but hey, one has to be positive about these kinds of things, innit?

To start, every entry in the month of June will bear a title that is a quote from the first season of Lost. Speaking of which, the second season of Lost just ended not too long ago. And man, did it end on a high. I can't begin to describe the awesomeness of that season finale. It had everything one could want, and the ending was just out of this world. I cannot wait for the third season to hit the airwaves. Sadly, that only starts in September. Which means it'll end up on local programming this time next year, more or less? Guess until Lost returns, I'll have to keep myself mighty busy. And once it does, I'll be gearing up the great equaliser to enjoy it way before anybody else in this country gets to do so. Muahahaha.

Now, how was my day? Sodding bland. I was back in HQ this morning. On my way there, I met up with another BMT friend of mine (he has been in Pasir Laba Camp with me since after we passed out and we even stayed in the same building during our respective on-course days). He suggested perhaps having a gathering for all of us crazy fuckers that were in Section 1 of Platoon 2 of Viper COY. Frankly, I don't see it happening but... I wouldn't mind if it did. Anyways, the majority of the morning was spent endorsing my MC for last Friday. While I was at the Medical Center, I decided to check out my troublesome knee. The amount of time I spent waiting for the consultation with the doctor and then my medicine/status was unbearable. At least there was some good news; I was to be on light duty for today and tomorrow, as the doctor mandated that I have a muscle strain. Yeah, way to make my already short working week even shorter!

In the afternoon, on my way to Bedok Camp, I finally ended my search for swank going-out shoes. And it only cost me 30 bucks. Sure, they ain't Gucci or whatever... but darn it, the shoes look ridiculously cool and feel oh-so-comfortable. That's all that matters to me. I even wore the shoes to Bedok Camp. The story behind me going to Bedok Camp is hilarious; even though I was given a status that restricts me from doing any sort of physical extertion, I was still sent down to Bedok Camp to run some errands -- despatch errands, that is. In hindsight, I should have left once I completed my task, but I stayed on for some reason for the afternoon lesson. What a colossal mitake that proved to be; the lesson ended at 1720 and I was to endure another agonising wait for the bus home. Still, I can't complain too much. I practically did NOTHING of importance today, again. Most of my friends currently serving their two years in the Army doing shit jobs would kill to do what I do.

Now, I'm home. And again, devoid of any inspiration at all. Not going to do anything relatively worthwhile... except embark on my foray into the realm of sports writing. Yes, that is my latest project. It may seem that I'm overloading myself with a ton of writing projects (which Sabrina astutely pointed out whilst talking to her over MSN)... but heck, since I can't exactly go out with here, got to keep myself occupied. Or else, I'll just go off the deep end.

OUT.

"the guy runs a prison. he can have any piece of ass he wants."

2006-05-31T23:25:00.000+08:00

I hate the feeling of realising you have to drag yourself back to work after a nice rest of four to five days. It's always such a downer, and in my case, really crappy. Mainly because I am already starting to miss Tekong. I know, that sounds incredibly ghey... but for a while there, I was having oodles of fun being the scourge of all recruits while teaching something worthwhile to those suckers. Ah well, just got to roll with the punches.

I found out on Sunday that I would spend the majority of this working week (which for me only spans three days) back at HQ. And after utilising my two days of freedom just doing the things I wanted (like reading and writing and sleeping and fucking around), I wasn't in the mood to go back to HQ and be bossed around. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. In fact, it was... a boring day in the office. Today morning, I did absolutely nothing in HQ. Literally, I did fuck all. In the afternoon, I went to OCS (Officer Cadet School) to assist a class. Funny story; whilst I was still on course, there was a point in time where I was pegged to end up in the HQ Team, so as to take charge of OCS. Thus, it felt weird to go there this afternoon. Still, it was quite fun; I met one of my BMT section mates from Viper COY. This guy, I tell ya, was Viper COY's best recruit... amongst many other accolades. He's fierce as hell. And fuck, he's getting married at the end of this year. Solid stuff. Meanwhile, I look at my relationship with Sabrina and wonder if there will be a future. More on that later. Anyways, I just assisted at OCS and left for home at around 1645. Pretty dull day, to be honest.

The evening, however, was more exciting. Actually, exciting isn't the correct word. Exciting hints at something GOOD, aye? What I experienced was BAD. Sabrina told me that her Dad wants to have a formal discussion about my relationship with his daughter this Sunday. And based from what Sabrina told me, this is where her Dad -- for a lack of a better term -- decides whether I should continue dating his daughter or not. Seems like an ultimatum, doesn't it? That's exactly what it is. I don't like this situation. All signs are pointing toward her Dad doing what he did with Sabrina's previous two boyfriends; him telling them that they weren't good enough. It appears as if nobody's good enough for him. He's already proven to be rather unreasonable over the last several months, and this doesn't really bode well for me. We shall see what happens this Sunday.

This has put me in a really shitty mood, so I'm just going to hit the sack and try to sleep. I don't even have the drive to do anything right about now. Not even share my 'WEIRD MRT HAPPENINGS 2006' with the world. Sigh. What a bloody rollercoaster this month has been. Why does it have to end on such a bitter mode? Argh!

OUT.

"okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?"

2006-05-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

I was doing my usual random surfing, looking for interesting stories to read. And I stumbled upon something absolutely ridiculous yet mind-bogglingly hilarious. It is seriously one of the wackiest news stories I've read this year. And here it is, for your enjoyment:

A radio station has responded to James Blunt's suggestion that anyone who does not like his music should simply switch off the radio, by banning his tracks from the airwaves.

In a move that may be closely monitored by other stations, Essex FM announced that from today it would no longer play Blunt's hits "You're Beautiful" and "Goodbye My Lover".

The GCap Media station said it was responding to recent audience research, which revealed that listeners had tired of Blunt's distinctive sound.

"Quite often there will be popular artists that people are starting to grow weary of. This time, the number of specific comments about James Blunt were more than we have ever seen for one particular artist," Chris Cotton, the programme controller, said.

"It was quite staggering. People said, 'Can you get rid of him?' 'Can you ban him?' Even people who say they are fans of his songs go on to express that they're sick of it."

Initially, the station will ban Blunt for a few days while eliciting feedback. But early indications suggest listeners are happy with the decision. When the station announced its intention to ban the singer, the switchboard was inundated.

"The amount of feedback is enormous, so it looks like there'll be a pretty long-term ban," Mr Cotton said. "This does tend to happen when artists reach a certain level of popularity, when it becomes wall-to-wall coverage.

"He has a unique sound and is an honest songwriter. That's the sort of combination that makes someone stand out, but people also tend to tire of that sound.We don't have anything against James Blunt and we're pleased he has been so successful, but we really need a break.

"While his songs have been very popular, there is a tremendous amount of industry pressure to play certain artists frequently. Often this can be out of step with the audience's tastes, which results in songs being overplayed. We're happy to stand up to this pressure. We encourage other radio stations to take the same step."
Blunt's music has been labelled too bland by many people, but last week he was given the music industry seal of approval when he won two Ivor Novello awards.

"You're Beautiful" was voted international hit of the year and most performed work at the ceremony, which recognises songwriting talent.

Accepting his award, Blunt said: "To all those bastards who don't like my music - you're all adults, you can switch your radio off."

Asked if he ever got sick of his music, the former Household Cavalry officer whose love life, including a fling with Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, has made headlines, said: "I don't have to listen to it. I'm the one who sings it. And it's continued to get me laid."

Blunt has not found it quite so easy to seduce the audience of Essex FM, who, according to the station's playlist, prefer the music of Corinne Bailey Rae, Robbie Williams and Keane.

"You're Beautiful" reached number one in 25 countries, and in March Blunt became the first British artist to top the US Billboard chart in nine years. His album Back to Bedlam has sold more than seven million copies worldwide.

Acknowledging that some people might be tiring of his songs, when he accepted the Novello award for Most Performed Work, Blunt said: "I should probably be rude about it before anyone else is. So thank you very much for the Most Overplayed Song award."

In 1999, BBC Radio 1 and Radio 2 refused to play "Millennium Prayer" by Sir Cliff Richard. It went to number one despite a lack of airplay.

I got this news tidbit from The Independent ONLINE EDITION, which is the web version of a popular UK tabloid. I find the whole situation to be so silly and overdramatic, but hey... that's what makes the story rocks. Absolutely ace, if you ask me.

OUT.

"i will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!"

2006-05-28T23:24:00.000+08:00

I love not doing anything, but at times, I feel that I've committed a sin in the process. It's just that I'm not exactly a young boy anymore; I'll be 23 this year, and I haven't accomplished anything of overwhelming significance. I've also recently lost the mood to write, for whatever reason... and that really stinks. I believe the cure is for me to get a really good massage and just relax for a couple of days. Imagine that I'm on a vacation on a faraway island. Of course, I would then want to be on the same island that's featured on Lost, simply because I would dig a good mystery. =]

Anyways, the weekend was a rather fruitful one. Yesterday was spent just lazing around, doing oddjobs around the house and watching movies. I was hoping to meet Sabrina just to have dinner, but even that didn't happen. She called me later at night, totally despondent because she got into another fight with her Dad. With every passing day, my astonishment at what a Nazi he is grows and grows. I just can't figure out what his damn problem is. Bloody hell.

Today, I got the chance to hang out with some of my batch-mates, in something resembeling a batch outing. Sure, only seven people showed up (that's just a whisker less than half of the total strength)... but that was better than nothing. We went to watch X-Men: The Last Stand. Originally, the plan was to catch the movie at around 1445. When I arrived at our meeting point, I then found out that the movie was at 1645 instead! Bloody hell, my plans for the rest of the day (including scouting for gifts for my brother's birthday) had to be re-arranged. That's the ONE thing I hate about plans: they never pan out and end up the way I want them. Grrr. Anyways, after two hours of playing games and hysteria over an extra ticket bought, we finally managed to catch the damn show. My prognosis?

First off, the major plot of X-Men: The Last Stand is borrowed from a rather new storyline that's been introduced in the world of comics; Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men is where the deal about a mutant cure first develops and gains momentum. Of course, there is also Jean Grey's transformation into The Phoenix that has to be factored into the story... so, the writers made the decision to combine the two plots. Add to this the introduction of Angel, and you have a very loaded overall story. Still, even with the amount of new mutants introduced and characters killed (something that still leaves a bad taste in my mouth -- so much could have been done with the likes of Psylocke and Callisto et al), the movie still rocks. It even foreshadows (twice!) a very intriguing storyline about the rise of the Apocalypse in a possible sequel (or even if they do a Wolverine spin-off). If you're a fanboy of the X-Men mythos, you might be angered with the rushed & crammed premise of the plot and character development. If you're only just somewhat knowledgeable about the X-Men saga or simply a casual watcher, go watch it. Not a bad effort at all.

Soooo, something else happened after the movie ended. To begin with, I had heard from many friends overseas that there was an extra scene to the movie after the credits. As such, I told the guys to wait. Of course, most of them were non-believers. Sceptical, even. They kept questioning if I was shitting them. I only had to respond by asking if they understood the term 'CREDITS'. True enough, after the credits had ended, we were all treated to the extra scene which turned out to be VERY CRITICAL to the point of the entire movie. What is the point of this ranting? Some people need to brush up on their BASIC COMMANDS OF FRIGGIN' ENGLISH. Why in the blue hell would I bullshit you about something like staying behind after the credits finish? I'm one of those people that would like to get out of a cinema once the movie ends, to avoid getting stuck in the sea of people trampling towards the exit. But if there is a good reason to stay behind, then I'll stay. It just annoys me to no end that some people have poor comprehension skills, that's all.

Whew, that felt good. Once we left the theater, most of the group decided to have dinner. Robin (the only one who understood the term 'credits' by the way) and I decided to split, as I had other plans. One of them being Sabrina being able to go out and spend the night chilling somewhere other than home. I met her at Tampines, had dinner with her, terrorised a couple of young punks who were trying their hardest to look all goth-like... and then, walked her home. Yes, all the way from Tampines. It was fun, except for when she was telling me her Dad kept admonishing her for hanging out with a hooligan like me. This raises a couple of doubts about our relationship as it stands; the way I see it, she keeps getting into trouble because of her wanting to hang out with me and whatnot. Maybe if I wasn't in the position of making her do that, she wouldn't get so much heat. In retrospect, the walk home all the way from Tampines gave us time to talk about our status as a couple. Too much time, in fact. Bummer. =[

As I got home and resumed my movie-watching quest, I thought about the day I had. And once I heard about something regarding the MRT on the news, I suddenly started laughing. Why? Well, I experienced TWO hilarious and wicked incidents in the train on my way to the movies earlier on in the afternoon. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that everytime I take the MRT to go somewhere on a Saturday or a Sunday, something really odd happens. In the vein of that, I shall start a new series of anecdotes tomorrow entitled 'WEIRD MRT HAPPENINGS 2006'.

Sabrina told me that if I have the ability to make it comical and intriguing and catered towards the typical Singaporean (which pretty much means I'd have to dumb down the language to fit a basic level of reading comprehension)... I could make 'WEIRD MRT HAPPENINGS 2006' like a book or something that both locals and tourists would enjoy. I like that idea. A lot. It's like a gold mine waiting to be unearthed, I tells ya! =D

OUT.

"you can control your bladder when you're dead."

2006-05-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

Ahhh, the weekend is upon us. And I have one that extends all the way until next Tuesday. The forecast is surely enjoyment. Of course, my LOOOOONG weekend actually started today, by a stroke of twisted luck. I shall explain in due time. FIRST, however, I shall begin with a brief recap of what happened yesterday.

Not because it was majorly exciting or anything. Rather, I have more or less slipped into a routine where I do recaps of my days gone by. So, anyways, William joined in the fun at Tekong yesterday. Which meant there were five 63rd Batch hunks on the island of Tekong yesterday, ready to raise some hell. Spent the whole morning playing cards until Chris and Alex showed up. They went off to get haircuts while us 63-ers went ahead with our lessons. I trudged all the way to Falcon COY for the first of two lessons in the day; a lecture on rifle-fighting. After which, Wilson and I went back to the parade square and joined the other three in murdering the recruits from Ninja COY. Why? They asked for it, with their shoddy standard and fucked-up shouting. Suuuure, they might have had a rough week -- but excuses are a dime a dozen these days. Plus, I was feeling sadistic. Too bad for them.

In the afternoon, Alex went off to... uhhh, do his own stuff. That left Chris as the only senior amongst us. He followed me to teach Falcon COY's Lesson 7, which I handled by myself. There was a little bit of a competition going on, you see; on one side of the parade square, I was taking charge of Falcon COY... and on the other end, SQ and Reubz were teaching Cougar COY. Same lesson for both Cougar and Falcon. In the end, it was Falcon COY that finished first and performed better on the whole. I think it's because of... well, me. HAHAHA. Seriously though, the recruits of Falcon seemed more committed overall. I went over to Cougar's side for the last ten minutes of their lesson, and only a bunch of them actually put in effort. So sad. Whatever the case was, we quickly packed up and left the island, all ready to enjoy the fruits of our collective labour. Of course, I was a bit peeved with someone in our group that day. He kept coming up with excuses to do the least work possible, as it pertains to BCCT. I mean, even if you're not sure about what to teach since Tekong's not your unit, just keep it a shot. You come all the way down to Tekong, you might as well do something. Or else, you've just wasted your damn day. This is why I plan to write up my own foolproof lesson plan for BCCT. That way, whenever anybody from my batch has to go down to Tekong to teach, I can just send them the documents and they will have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing what to do.

Moving on. Just as I reached home (and frowned for the overcast weather put paid to my ambitions of going for a jog), I got a message. Turns out, my unit's big boss (on the CCI side -- let's just call him MISTER OHK) mandated that all CCIs that had no other obligations such as guard duty were to attend an ORD function all the way at SAFTI (which is in the Boon Lay area) on Friday evening. I did not know the details or who was to be involved. I only know that once I heard the news, I rolled my eyes and sighed in desperation. Looks like my Friday night plans were going to HELL. Of course, I didn't count on my stomach cramps making a spectacular comeback.

Today morning, I was back in Tekong. And I was as sick as a dog. My throat was sore, and my stomach was being twisted into knots. I felt a sense of accomplishment as I finished up my last lesson of my very first 'season' in Tekong, but more importantly, I felt my innards being pummelled by a force greater than me. Since the afternoon lesson at Bedok Camp had been cancelled, Chris told me just to go home and lay low. I used the chance to visit the polyclinic. Since, you know, doctor's consultation at polyclinics for all NSF personnel is free. HA. Turns out, I needed a really scary jab to get rid of the toxins in my tummy. The jab hurt as hell, and I felt really woozy afterwards. However, I was cheered up when the doctor presented me with a MC for the day. This meant I had a way out of skipping the ORD function in the evening. I promptly called MISTER OHK once I got home, and he approved me not needing to show up. So, I took a nap... and now, I'm awake. And hungry. Despite just having dinner.

What do I do now? Sabrina's telling me I can do one of two things: sleep again or talk to her all night on MSN. I rather talk to her in person, and it sucks that even though we live so close to each other... I can't see her whenever I want. All thanks to her Dad; he who rules with an iron fist. Ah well, we lie in the bed we make. I think I shall start catching up on my movie-watching quota for the month of May.

OUT.

"one of this guy's eyebrows just fell in the bowl of candy beans."

2006-05-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

I had to withdraw money this morning as I was down to my last eight bucks, and I was aiming to just have an extra 20 dollars in my wallet. Turns out, the machine was only able to dispense 50 dollars; nothing lower. What's up with that? It's a dumb decision to set the minimum amount of money to withdraw as 50 dollars. Hell, it's generally stupid to deny people a CHOICE. Grumbling, I took my money and walked away in a funk. Maybe I'm just starting to get fussy over the smallest issues, but hey, IT'S MY MONEY AND I SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE HOW MUCH I WANT TO WITHDRAW AT ANY GIVEN TIME~!

Ahem, glad I've gotten that rant out of the way. So, yesterday, I went back to HQ. And within an hour, I found out I wasn't just giving a speech for the graduation ceremony for the PTIs; I was to be the emcee for the whole damn thing! Warrant Ong (one of the really big boss in AFC -- let's refer to him as the big boss for the PTI side) met me at 0920 for the first rehearsal. The script was pretty long-winded, but it didn't pose a problem for me. There was one more rehearsal before lunch, and all the way until 1645... I was in the office, doing absolutely jack shit. Seriously. I couldn't believe the graduation was going to start so fucking late. Had I known, I would have brought my laptop along (via sneakiness of course)! Either way, the graduation finally kicked off... and truth be told, the performances that the PTIs put together were quite top-notch. I was more focused, however, on hoping to leave by 1730. Alas, once the damn graduation ended at 1740 (after a snazzy emcee job by yours truly), I was invited to the reception. With my hands tied behind my back, I went ahead and helped myself to some gooood food. By 1845, though, I was ready to split. And thanks to my batch-mate, Azfar, I was home within 30 minutes! We had a good chat about a lot of topics whilst on the road, too. Solid stuff indeed.

There was more drama ahead for me, though. Last night, Sabrina sneaked out of her house and met up with me. What did we do? Cycle. Yes, we went... cycling. Well, she cycled and I was her passenger. HAHAHA. It was just something we decided to do after having a discussion last week about how deliciously awesome it would be if gender roles were reversed in select situations. Anyways, it turned out to be a really great night. So much so that we got carried away with time and I got her home only at 0300. Aye, you read that correctly. Sneaking her back into her house proved to be an extreme challenge, but I think we got away with murder. Man, if her Dad ever finds out about the stuff we do after Sabrina's curfew, I'd probably be killed ten ways from Sunday.

Today, I went back with Tekong. Chris and Alex had to be elsewhere (including back at HQ in the afternoon)... which left me and three of my other batch-mates to rule the day. It was fun. Only one lesson in the morning, and two in the afternoon. While playing cards right before lunch, the news of guard duty this Friday was made known. AND THANK THE LORDS, I HAVE BEEN SPARED FROM GUARD DUTY FOR THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW! I felt immensely relieved when I heard I wasn't going to be doing duty this Friday. Someone else in my batch tried to sell his duty to me, and although I would have made a profit from the standard 'market price', I wasn't about to change my plans around just to make some money. Besides, I can easily make 200 bucks this Saturday. Whoooo!

Oh, and, I have next Monday and Tuesday off from work. Everybody in my unit was awarded a day off due to Polling Day a few weeks ago and I'm finally using that day off next Monday. Annnnnd, I secured next Tuesday's absence from work through shady means. Thereby, keeping my 13 days of annual leave for this year. Score! All this means that I have a chance to recharge myself and catch up on so many unfinished projects. It will also offer me the opportunity to secure some birthday gifts (my brother's birthday is about 10 days away). I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for the good times to keep on rollin'. =]

OUT.

"why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?"

2006-05-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

Soooo, I have come to learn that most people -- including myself -- are prone to overreacting. I have been especially guilty of this in recent weeks. Hell, you can just take a gander at my last entry to see such an example. But hey, if you were in my shoes, me thinks you would have done the exact same thing.

I was in a foul mood last Saturday as I reported for guard duty. My only solace? I was going to be doing it with people I can tolerate. Well, most of them were the tolerable kind. There were a couple that I've grown to roll my eyes at everytime they say something. Anyways, I had a plan all sorted out for my shifts, but because two people were late, I got pushed to doing the very first shift (second week in a row). I was so desperately seeking the chance to catch up on some sleep, but there was to be no other option. After finishing my first shift, I learned that due to more shenanigans in terms of manpower not showing up... I had to do an extra shift. Bollocks.

One good bit of news fell my way, however. As I was explaining the whole guard duty thing to Robin, he told me that my name had already been erased the board in the office in HQ, and thus, I had no more extra guard duty to look forward to. I felt so incredibly relieved! Finally, something went my way. I was still annoyed about the entire chain of events that led me to do guard duty for the second week in a row (a fact that so many other people pointed out to me), but at least one inconsistency was resolved. Like I said, I'm still mighty ticked off at how the HQ Team seem to keep changing the rules day by day to benefit themselves... but as long as I have a clean slate, I was able to chuck my anger aside. The only problem I had after that was dealing with impending boredom and existing exhaustion. Thankfully, the day passed by relatively smoothly and without much incident. I did end up having some sembelance of fun. There was some chaos on Sunday morning, after we had finished and were officially released... but it didn't really affect me. Right after guard duty, though, I went home to rest for about an hour before heading off to earn some money. 180 bucks, to be precise. At least the weekend wasn't an absolute waste. Still, would have preferred to undertake the gig on Saturday that offered 300 bucks.

Today, another batch-mate of mine (Reuben) joined me in Tekong. Took charge of Pegasus COY's last lesson, which was rather sub-par mainly because the recruits in the company are pretty protected and under the care of a very welfare-oriented commanding officer. In the afternoon, I learnt that I would have to go back to HQ tomorrow to do a very special task: give a speech to the PTIs that are finally graduating from their own personal HELL tomorrow. On one hand, I feel a wee bit honoured. On the other hand, I'm confused to why I'm chosen. On the third hand (!), I will have to miss Viper COY's last lesson tomorrow. Oh well. Took them for Lesson 7 today and did rather well in riling 'em up. Got some very impressive shouting from them, and bid them adieu as I will not be seeing them anytime soon.

Reuben and I, by right, had another lesson to teach at 1530 (Cougar COY) but due to some circumstances, the lesson was postponed to tomorrow. HENCE, I went straight home and made plans with Sabrina to watch a movie later. She is officially on thin ice with her Dad for coming home so late last Wednesday, which is why she had to lie to her Dad about who she was going with today. I'm digging the time I'm spending with her and all, but this situation with her Dad is slowly building to something very unhealthy. Hopefully, the tension will fade away soon. =[

OUT.

"that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of."

2006-05-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.

I have guard duty again this Saturday. This PISSES ME OFF SO FUCKING MUCH. For many reasons. I guess I should start from the beginning, but I simply had to get that across. I COULD STRANGLE SOME POOR BASTARD RIGHT NOW!

Ahem. Let's start with Wednesday evening. Went out with Sabrina after she had her mandatory birthday dinner with her family, and I showed her a splendid time. We got a bit too... wild, though. Heck, I think I might be in trouble with her Dad again, as I got her home at 0230 (her curfew was 2330). After that, I did not go to sleep. Nooo, I watch as Barcelona beat the stuffing out of Arsenal to win the Champions' League. Seriously, I was overjoyed. The jubilation came at a price; I only attained about two hours of sleep before I had to make my way to the island of Tekong.

Yesterday, there was a need for some extra manpower at Tekong. And that's we got, in the form of two other people from the 63rd Batch, Si Qian (the guy who I helped out on Tuesday morning) and Wilson. They were not very pleased about having to book in so much earlier considering that the lesson(s) started at 1000, but I explained it rather bluntly to them. For the morning lesson, I took Wilson to teach Falcon COY (never taught them before), and I believe I did a pretty solid job with them. They were already more or less broken in by Alex in previous lessons, and thus, I didn't have to shout at them too much. Which was good, because my throat was already irritating the heck out of me. I chalk it to gleefully cheering Barcelona beating Arse(nal) earlier in the morning, heh. Anyways, we had lunch after that. And played cards. And talked about the problems within our infamous 63rd Batch. That was oodles of fun.

Then, we decided on who would teach the afternoon lessons. Yes, there were supposed to be TWO lessons in the afternoon... but ever since there was the abolishment of Team ICs, different people have taken over the scheduling responsibilites. People who have never had to do this kind of work before. Hence, there are bound to be a lot of mix-ups, and one of those mix-ups occured yesterday. Falcon COY's Lesson 4 was postponed from yesterday to... well, today. So, we only had to teach Cougar COY their very first lesson. I confidently gave the initial briefing, before letting Si Qian take over (Si Qian was formerly from Cougar COY). He did an okay job, but of course, he was nervous having to teach his virgin BCCT lesson. Missed a couple of key points; that was to be expected, of course. Prior to the lesson, SQ told me he didn't really want to punish the recruits since it would feel weird... so, I became the bad guy, HAHAHA. I took over for the last segment of the lesson, since I was feeling bored. I think it's odd yet fabulous that I've grown so acustomed to teaching. It's like, I look forward to teaching nowadays. If I don't get to teach, I feel a tiny bit saddened. Weird, innit?

Anyways, after the lesson ended, that's when the bad news filtered in. Wilson had been on the phone, and he told me about 3/4 of our batch had to do guard duty this Saturday. Suddenly, all the anger in the pit of my stomach rushed up to my throat and I had the urge to just... snap. I barely (BARELY) kept myself in check, and looked for a way to get out of it. While I focused on selling it off, Alex and Chris were kind enough to talk to the HQ Team about the situation. I mean, look at it; I had done guard duty last Saturday, and caretaker duty from Monday morning to Tuesday afternoon. Do these fuckers think I'm sodding Superman? Alas, for all of Alex's efforts, the negotiations were in vain. I did find out that the HQ Team (specifically the two people in charge of the overall scheduling and planning of things like guard duty) are a bunch of idiots. One of them told Alex (while Alex was still trying to fight for me) that the guard duty last week was not regimental. It was, in fact, an extra guard duty. The second I heard that, I very nearly lost my temper again.

Let's look at the facts:

1. The 63rd Batch were told that extra guard duty would be served on Fridays, and only last 12 hours. How come we did 24 hours?

2. The 63rd Batch were also told that extra guard duty cannot be sold. How come two people sold their guard duty last week?

3. If last week's duty was an extra, how come this one FUCKER could skip it by simply getting a MC from the doctor's and pushing the duty to someone else?

4. Another fucker was almost faced with AWOL last Saturday for trying to escape guard duty and only showed up at around 1100. Is that possible?

5. If last week's duty was an extra, why is my name still on the board of people who have yet to serve their earned extra? And also, since I did 24 hours (additional 12 hours), does this mean I can play some kind of stunt and get another extra... only for it to be nullified since I had already served an additional 12 hours of duty last week?

Gaping holes in the logic, non? I'M SO SERIOUSLY CONFUZZLED. I think it says something about the lies people try to spin to cover their own asses if I can think up of all these massive inconsistencies within eight seconds of hearing the news. Whatever. Even if I try to argue with the HQ Team, they will probably try to lie their way out of the situation. All I'm going to do the next time I come face-to-face with them is tell them: if that May 13 guard duty was an extra, can my name be taken down from the board? I think it's only fair, don't you think?

God, I spent the rest of yesterday just sitting around, feeling depressed. I have to give up ANOTHER GIG WORTH 300 BUCKS. That is 600 smackeroos in two weeks. These fuckers are messing with my livelihood. I'm tempted to walk inside the office in HQ one day with a gun and go all -- "YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE, BABY. YOU'RE GONNA DIEEEEE!" and shoot all of them idiots in the face. I swear, if I get slapped with guard duty again next week, shit's going to hit the fan and I am going to just snap. Screw the ramifications; I WILL KILL THEM DEAD. YOU HEAR ME, FUCKERS?

So, today in Tekong. William joined us. SQ, William and myself were on our way to SFT to meet up with Wilson for the 0830 fastcraft, Thiban called me. Turns out, more scheduling conflicts and boo-boos. Bronco's Lesson 8 -- supposedly in the afternoon -- had been pushed to 0800 in the morning. I told Thiban to arrange for the lesson to be at 0900 instead, since it was 0758 when he called me (!). Long story short, when we reached Tekong, William and myself quickly changed and got our asses down to Bronco COY for the lesson. I had to whip them into shape before the lesson even got underway, since they disrespected me and all. You'd think they would be unresponsive after that, but noooo. Even if it was my first time teaching Lesson 8, I found it to be remarkably easy. The lesson finished on an extreme high, with some of the loudest shouting I've heard so far from from any batch of recruits in Tekong. In turn, they thought I was uber-fierce in my demonstrations. There were a couple of minutes where I was treated like a rockstar. That ruled, hahaha.

Directly after that lesson, I had to go to the parade square and teach Pegasus COY Lesson 7. SQ and Wilson took charge of Cougar COY for their second lesson (second and third combined), and William went to join Alex for Scorpion's final lesson. Busy bees, we all were. Teaching Pegasus was fine, and Chris again helped out by taking over the second half of the lesson as he could see I was tired. After finishing up with Pegasus COY, I went over to help out SQ and Wilson with the remainder of the Cougar lesson. And then, we finally had a chance to relax and have our lunch. It was definitely a hectic morning. I got some sort of validation, too, when all three of my batch-mates that were at Tekong today agreed upon one simple fact: BCCT isn't as easy as it seems. Finally, recognition. Of course, I've got a nice bunk to chill out in, and the travelling doesn't feel like torture. Still, there's a lot of cover and a certain style to work within. I'm happy that they understand what I do here isn't easy by any stretch of imagination. Anywho, moving on; in the afternoon, I taught Viper COY their sixth lesson, and finished in record time. Went over to see Wilson finish up Falcon COY's lesson on kicks, and before I knew it, I was back home. Still pissed about guard duty tomorrow.

Next week is the final week of the current season in Tekong. Next week is also the week where I may learn of my third guard duty in as many weeks. As you can gather from my current state of mind, if I DO have to do guard duty again next week, I will probably end up in jail by next Sunday. Unless, I execute clean kills. We shall see, huh? For now, I'm going to pray for a miracle of some sort, all the while knowing it's probably not going to help a single bit. Bloody hell, I HATE guard duty. HATE IT.

OUT.

"we were starting to establish some trust. except for all the lies."

2006-05-17T18:55:00.000+08:00

Maaaan, it's been a crazy couple of days. There's always some drama floating around, threatening to explode into something dramatic. Why is this the case? I just don't know, and at this point in time, I don't really care. I'm just glad that everything seems to have settled down today.

Yesterday, I had to continue my caretaker duty until 1245, as my batch-mate was at his unit doing important things. I was a bit peeved about having to do so, considering how tired I was. Still, I wasn't totally bored as I was the day before, since some of my other batch-mates came back earlier than they were supposed to. Finally, at around 1330, everybody except this one fucker who I talked about in previous posts (I officially do not consider HIM part of my batch) were present, and we talked about a variety of topics before having our photo-taking. It was quite surreal to see everybody back together, albeit for a very short amount of time. After that, the boss of the unit told me I had to go to Maju Camp to help out with a lesson. He didn't care that I had just finished caretaker duty about two hours prior to the photo-taking. Hell, he even scolded the guy for whom I covered for not showing up for his caretaker duty in the morning. Long story short, I decided to fuck it... and I went home. Yeah, I was ballsy enough to try a stunt like this. The bloody lesson at Maju Camp would have started at 1600. I was too drained and exhausted to handle that, so I did the smart thing and hit the road.

Of course, there was that little issue of the boss wanting to call me as I was on my way home... but turns out, he wanted to ask me stuff about a whole different topic. Ha, not like I was nervous. I kept my cool and smoked my way through the conversation. I'm a smooth operator, baby. Heh heh. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me on the arse, though. =D

Today was another routine day in Tekong. It turns out that yesterday, Chris and Alex forgot that Viper COY had a lesson in the morning. Thus, their Lesson 4 was postponed, and the subject material was absorbed into today's Lesson 5 by yours truly. I was actually hoping for the recruits to be more lively today, and even Chris's attempt to mix things up (I taught the lesson but he interceded at one point just to freshen the scene) didn't really boost their morale by much. I blame the hot sun. Oh well. I accompanied Thiban to teach Orion COY their last BCCT lesson in the afternoon, and once again, the sun was out with the intention to COOK ME! Still, it was fun watching Thiban work his magic. Alex even took a video of Thiban teaching with my phone. Hilarious.

That was it for today. Simple and un-complicated. Not like yesterday and the days preceding. All I want to do now is just sit back, relax, and work on things like my writing and maintenance of my computer. Oh, and movie watching. I haven't watched many movies since two weeks ago. VERY ODD. I usually try to catch one movie a day (on cable or whatever). Today is also Sabrina's birthday. WHEE~! I had lunch with her earlier and gave her a nifty little present. She's gone back home to celebrate with her family, but her cranky Dad has allowed her to go out with me tonight. Score, baby. I can't wait to show her a good time. =D

OUT.

"it's called taking advantage. it's what gets you ahead in life."

2006-05-15T21:46:00.000+08:00

Yeah, stuck in camp once more. Caretaker duty, you see. My fourth one ever since the 63rd Batch were done with our training phase in the middle of February this year. By all accounts, today was a tame affair in terms of work I had to do compared to the previous times I was burdened with caretaker duty. The first time, if I recall correctly, was also pretty relaxed... save for some confusion in the morning and a little bit of work that had to be done in the afternoon. The second one, in March, was the suckiest: tons of crap work to be done and nobody to guide me with some of the stuff my seniors never informed us about. The third one, in April and which I mentioned in this blog, was also rather taxing... and shitty (I don't want to talk about it). I had absolutely nothing major to do today. So much so that I almost fell asleep -- TWICE, mind you -- while in the chair. It's a good thing I had the finale of Survivor: Panama - Exile Island to help get me through the afternoon. Also, with the new ruling that the caretaker has to stay in the gym practically at all times (the penalty for randomly galavanting and thereby being missing from the gym would be extra guard duty) also played a role, I think.

Speaking of Survivor: Panama - Exile Island, I'm not happy with who won. Ah, fuck trying to be considerate and not giving away spoilers -- Aras shouldn't have won. He didn't really deserve it. Whatever, my track record in thinking who will win each season of Survivor is very spotty. But I can't blame this season for a lack of excitement; the second half of the season got mighty interesting and gripping. A perfect compliment to the slow build of the first half of the season. Can't wait for the next installment, although I do hope they do one in... say, Siberia or something. That'd own. =D

Anyways, I would be happier on a quiet night like this. I'm not, though. Still a bit miffed about the whole guard duty bullshit from last week. Oh, and my caretaker duty -- which, by right, should end at 0730 tomorrow morning -- will be extended. To, uh, 1200 tomorrow. Why? The guy who's supposed to take over me tomorrow has something important to attend to at his unit, and so, being the kind-hearted person that I was... I told him it was fine for me to cover the first couple hours of his shift. Not like I have anything important to do tomorrow, anyways. I was SUPPOSED to be heading back to Tekong and teach a couple of lessons in the afternoon, but my batch will be having a photo-taking session at about 1300 tomorrow. Therefore, no Tekong tomorrow.

Thinking about Tekong, I realise something. It's been a mere four weeks (approximately) since I fired up this ol' dump of mine. In four short weeks, I grew from dreading going to Tekong to becoming determined to go to Tekong to make a mark... to looking forward to booking into Tekong to continue my good work and have a blast of a time. Especially if I could have a week like last week, in terms of what we did whilst in the bunk. Since I had been on a mission to get back into the realm of comics, I'd brought my newly-purchased comics and graphic novels to Tekong. Turns out, Tim too is a comics fan and he brought a sample of his impressive collection of comics to show off. This prompted me to dig up my stack of old comics; several of which I brought to work today to pass the time while being holed in the gym. The trouble with getting back into collecting comics now is, simply put, the cost. It's become an expensive hobby. Which makes me wonder why there isn't a library of sorts for comics and graphic novels. I did hear there used to be such a place in Chinatown, but no more. I genuinely think dedicating a small portion of community libraries all over the country to comics and graphic novels would be a smashing idea. Of course, being that it makes SENSE and could be FUN, this idea will not come to pass. I don't foresee the government doing something like this.

Such a shame, isn't it? Ah well, I guess I will have to resort to putting in several man-hours to track down cheaper shops to purchase old comics. I'm especially interested, at the moment, in Spider-Man and Captain America titles. Don't ask me what's with the sudden obsession with comics; I suspect it's the kid in me wailing out for some good old-fashioned fun. =D

OUT.

"that just makes me want to puke all over your head, sir."

2006-05-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

Exhaustion is never a good condition to shoulder. It's a good thing I'm currently not suffering from said condition, because I'd just feel very moody... and I hate being in that state. Why am I talking about exhaustion, to begin with? Well, simply because I went ahead and fulfilled my guard duty obligation yesterday. For some reason, it wasn't as tiring as I thought it would be. The first time I did guard duty at PLC was in early April and it was on a Friday -- the day which is usually reserved for those CCIs who EARN guard duty for committing wrongdoings -- which meant I would only have to endure 12 hours of hell. Once I completed the duty, though, I remember being severely exhausted and spent the rest of the day crashing in my cozy bed at home.

Guess my body's back to being utterly abnormal again. Anywho, guard duty yesterday was not without drama. Long story short, one BASTARD in my batch decided to make use of the fact that he's in the HQ team and therefore protected to some degree. This meant that for the second time in a row, he escaped guard duty and forced it upon somebody else (my former platoon mate in Viper -- William). Just for clarification sake, William has done the most number of guard duties amongst all of us in the 63rd Batch. He shouldn't have done it yesterday, but it was beyond his control. This aggravated me a lot. This BASTARD is now under the impression that he has immunity, and has made use of William twice early. The first time; well, let's just say it's too complicated to detail... but the gist of it is (if I'm not wrong), he bought guard duty from his buddy and pocketed the money while forcing William to take over him. Real smooth, huh? Fucker. FUCKERRRR. Can you tell I despise this FUCKER? ;]

There were some other issues abound during guard duty yesterday. Too many to mention, in fact. The most important of them all, however, is the fact that two people in my batch haven't done a single guard duty yet. It's about time they catch up with the rest of us. Not really fair if the remainder of the batch keep getting guard duties and either the two of them don't or they find a way not to help us out if we can't do it. A change needs to be made; we've got to start helping each other out more, as opposed to just a select few doing favours for the rest of the batch and getting absolutely jack shit in return. If this doesn't happen, then the 63rd Batch will be doomed to be at loggerheads with each other... and when our juniors finally pass out, they are going to think we're a group of monkeys. Simple as that.

Anyways, other than all that drama mama, nothing much happened yesterday. I think I'm warming up to the idea of buying guard duties whenever I feel like killing 24 hours. Of course, I'm still pissed that I lost the chance to earn 300 big ones yesterday. As a matter of fact, I was so angry about guard duty that I was a righteous sourpuss all day Friday. I spent majority of the day watching episodes of Veronica Mars and praying that guard duty would be cancelled. At night, I went out with Staci to celebrate her last few days in Singapore. It's a good thing that she got her flight out of Singapore delayed today, because it offered me a chance to hang out with her one last time. More about that later (or tomorrow). All in all? This weekend had the POTENTIAL to be great. However, it turned out to be half-crappy, half-boring. What a bloody waste.

The sad thing is, this weekend will be the last 'long weekend' we will have for a very long time. Until, I think, October. That really blows. There's not even going to be another public holiday until August. So not cool. There goes my plans to perhaps go for a short holiday to Penang in the near future. =[

OUT.

"the seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing."

2006-05-11T19:05:00.000+08:00

Well, I will never get excited over a long weekend break again. You want to know why? Simple; I have to do guard duty this Saturday. AND THIS FUCKING PISSES ME OFF. My bloody unit is already so tiny, compared to SISPEC that currently have trainees on course at Pasir Laba Camp. WHY CAN'T THEY FUCKING DO THE GUARD DUTY? Okay, let me rephrase my frustration; why do *I* have to do guard duty? There are two people in my 63rd Batch that haven't done it yet. Wouldn't it be halfway smart to give those people who have already done it before a chance to rest while making sure those that haven't done it yet get on the scoreboard? Or is that too novel an idea for people to come up with? This is extremely exasperating, for many reasons. Firstly, I had an offer to work at Sheraton Hotel this Saturday; a banquet job, that will see me pocket $250 in exchange for toiling for eight hours. Secondly, one of my dear friends is leaving Singapore this Sunday to further her studies in Australia. Guard duty on a Saturday means it's a 24-hour shift; which basically means I'll be back home on Sunday morning, all worn out. Finally, I already have to go to PLC on Monday and spend the night there as I have caretaker duty on Monday. MOTHER-FUCKING-CHRIST, this is pissing me off so much. My blood is boiling, even. Seriously.

Okay, let's put the negativity aside for a while. I want to talk about my past couple of days in Tekong. Mainly because it will, just for a tiny bit, take my mind off of this guard duty bollocks. Tuesday, I was in Tekong for one lesson only; Viper COY's Lesson One in the afternoon. There was one slight problem in the morning, however; I wasn't feeling well. I had a terrible headache and spent most of the morning sleeping in the bunk as opposed to 'preparing' for the lesson. Still, that didn't stop me from being absolutely ACE during my initial briefing to the recruits. The adrenaline rush I had by simply visiting my old COY was just out of this world. Better still was having some of my old sergeants and officers watching me work my magic. By the end of the lesson, I felt that I'd accomplished something immense. It was my first time teaching Lesson One all the way through and all by myself... and I think I breezed through it! Chris was impressed, at least. He was also happy with the potential CCIs that he gathered from Viper COY, which included my friend Khairi. I think Khairi has a great shot of getting selected, but since he's also looking to get into OCS, it remains to be seen where he'll end up.

On Wednesday, I was supposed to teach Orion COY in the morning... but there were some last-minute changes to the schedule. So, I ended up taking charge of Pegasus COY. Nothing much to report there, except that I remember being grateful it wasn't scorching hot. Oh, and Thiban helped out with a part of the lesson. In the afternoon, after talking about comics with Tim again (as we'd done the day before), I went to teach Viper COY. Chris followed me and actually decided to teach the lesson himself, allowing me to rest for a bit. That was cool. He had some advice on how to motivate recruits to do better, and I found myself agreeing with his points. Chris taught 3/4 of the lesson and did so with extreme ease, leaving me to teach the final segment. I had to exert a little bit of authority before I did so, and it felt GOOD. Ha, anyways, it only took me 10 minutes or so to finish up the lesson. Following which, I went home and changed to go out with Sabrina. We were supposed to hang out the night before, but her Dad wrecked our plans again. I kind of lost my cool at Sabrina in the process, and we had a bit of an disagreement... but thankfully, I kept my head and shaped up. The result? A really SUPER date with her last night, mwahaha. I love having great dates. =D

Today, I almost didn't make it to SFT on time. Once more, public transportation decided to fuck around with me. I fail to see how hard it is for the powers-that-be who control the schedules and timings of buses to come up with a foolproof plan for services they KNOW encounter heavy traffic during peak hours, to ensure passengers aren't left waiting thirty minutes for a bus and run the possibility of being late for their appointments. I literally had to run to catch the fastcraft at 0830. Fucking hell, it's a good thing I did, too; Scorpion COY suddenly decided to have their lesson at 0930, and with the seniors all taking the 0930 fastcraft as per protocol... it would have been a major faux pas had I not caught the 0830 fastcraft. Thankfully, I did, and I gave Scorpion COY one heck of a lesson to remember. Those little buggers co-operated with me fairly well, and we were able to finish the lesson within 30 minutes. Which is surprising only because I had to teach them combination moves and I expected to take almost 50 minutes to do so. Had a good rest for the remainder of the morning, talking to Chris and Tim and Thiban about a variety of topics. Then, it was time to teach Viper COY once more: Lesson 3.

We decided to hold it in the MPH, which I was very grateful for. And yet again, I put in all my effort to make the lesson a success. I was on my own in teaching the lesson, and I think I thrive when I have to teach a lesson by myself. I'm able to talk more freely to the recruits and impart my own brand of tips on fighting. The techniques that the Viper COY recruits had to learn today are usually the hardest for recruits to master... but these Viper men did not let me down. They got the hang of everything VERY QUICKLY, and I ended the lesson in about 25 minutes! After that, I showed off some other fighting techniques to them, and gave the Viper men a clinic on how to defend one's self properly. I even called Khairi up to be my guinea pig for a reaping throw. All in all, I firmly believe I thoroughly impressed the Viper COY recruits (I sensed they were going to be a tricky bunch to handle from the first lesson as a large number of them didn't really feel they were going to be doing anything worthwhile in BCCT), and I also impressed myself in the process. It was just a really great day for me, teaching-wise.

If only I could be happy about my performances today. Nooo, I instead have to begrudingly look forward to guard duty on Saturday. My whole weekend is wasted. Flushed down the toilet. Gone down the drain. I am incredibly depressed now, but there's not much I can do about it. For a while, I entertained the thought of faking sickness... but I foresee it will cause more problems than anything. So, I just have to suck it up and get it done & over with. Fucking hell.

OUT.

"we're quadruplets; you got the wrong two!"

2006-05-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

Something horrible almost happened to me last Saturday. I had just arrived at the Pasir Ris MRT and was about to scan my card. The old man in front of me suddenly stopped for no reason. As I just took one step to my right, the fucker released a gigantic FART. He let one riiiip right then and there, in the middle of the station. And once he was done, the old coot continued walking... as if nothing had happened. My GOD, I almost vomitted. Imagine if I had been directly behind him! I would have probably puked and slipped on my own barf, and ended up dead or something.

Today, I was witness to another incident. It didn't really involve me, but this innocent lady who was most likely making her way to work. It was about 0730 and I was on my way to work myself. This lady in front of me (she had a fetch skirt on) was sashaying her pretty little ass along the pavement, when one of the heels of her shoes broke. Just like that. I could practically see the crestfallen look on her face, and the anger that quickly took over. My thoughts? Don't wear such high heels if you're just going to work. Save it for some fancy occasion. Or if you have a presentation to do at work. You know?

Anyway, today in Tekong was... interesting. Once again, it was myself and Tim and Thiban. We were supposed to teach Taurus COY in the morning, but at the last second (literally)... I got news that we were meant to teach Ulysses COY instead. And with the sun out with a vengeance, I had hoped to rush through the lesson. Especially since several recruits fell out just a minute or so into the lesson. Unfortunately, Tim and Thiban frowned upon me trying to hurry... as the quality of standard I received in turn for me attempting to be considerate was quite pathetic. So, for the second half of the lesson, I made sure to slow down my pace and teach the lesson in the correct manner. It seemed to work. After the lesson, though, I had a bit of a disagreement with both Tim and Thiban. They claimed I didn't shave, I disagreed. Because, I did. It got to the point where I was pissed and just shouted at them. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't done that. They are my seniors, after all. I guess I was just frustrated. Either way, we worked it out.

In the afternoon, after spending a lot of time in the bunk talking and watching Tim 'bully' Thiban in the most comical way possible, I went over to Leopard COY. Leopard COY is filled with people who are re-doing their BMT due to having failed it the first time around. These people are going to end their term in NS, but they have to clear BMT before they do so... so, yeah. Taught them before, and it was a bit difficult because these people don't care about BCCT. Today, though, I made sure to mix it up and teach the lesson in the most enjoyable manner I could think of. At the end of the lesson, all of them agreed they did have fun and they offered an ovation once I concluded said lesson. Following which, I went to take over Thiban who was teaching Scorpion COY. Tim once again used me as a guinea pig once I was through with my half of the lesson, and the Scorpion recruits too clapped for a job well done on our parts. That was way cool.

Best part of my day? I collected my new plastic spectacles and my darliiiing computer is finally back from the dead. Nothing lost at all. YAY. Now, time for me to prepare for having to teach Viper COY tomorrow; Lesson One, you see. My one and maybe last shot at doing Lesson One by myself and for the whole lesson. I am insanely determined to impress not only my seniors but my former sergeants and officers in Viper. A matter of pride, this is. =]

EDIT: I have finally done enough with one of my current projects (the one about Li Mu Bai which I spoke about briefly a while back) to start showing it off. Not that there's a huge crowd of people visiting this place each day, but still, I want to pimp it. Just check it out if you're bored and want something to read and leave some feedback if you can. Spread the word! I want to make this project huge! RWAR~!

OUT.

"has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?"

2006-05-07T21:50:00.000+08:00

One of the most annoying things that our young generations (read: teenagers) do today is act like they're so tortured and have really huge problems. That, however, does not compare to these same teenagers using Internet lingo in everyday conversation. A few days ago, I was on the bus en route to the bank to run an errand. There were these two geeky-looking cockheads from a neighbourhood secondary school who boarded the bus like they were bigshots. After taking their seats, they proceeded to talk about something not worth repeating. During their conversation, however, one guy kept using the term 'LOL'. I kid you not, he literally said 'L - O - L'. I felt like walking over to him and stomping a mudhole in his candy ass. Look, it's called Internet lingo for a fucking reason. ITS USE IS MEANT WHILE YOU ARE IN A CONVERSATION ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB. Jesus FUCKING Christ. It's no wonder the youth population of Singapore annoys me. Between this and their naiveity in real-life issues, I wonder how they will survive once they have to actually fend for themselves and carve out a niche in the working market that's enough to support themselves & their family.

Argh. Just needed to get that off my hairy chest. Venting, you know. Time to stray away from that and onto other subjects. Like, for instance, me hanging out with my SHATEC buddy Khairi yesterday. Ever since my class graduated, I've only really hung out with him. Never really gone out or met up intentionally with anyone else from my class. Never been bothered to. I've ran into some of my classmates by accident, sure... but yeah, I live up to my largely 'anti-social' status from our schooling days. Anywho, I was supposed to meet up with Khairi (who I mentioned in a previous post was currently serving BMT in Viper COY) and Herzy (another classmate who's also in BMT now and the one I talked about whenever I mention Bronco COY) yesterday at about 1800. The plan was to just hang out and maybe catch a movie. I was at the comics shop at Orchard MRT and just purchased two particular items of interests (BATMAN'S Bruce Wayne: Fugitive -- Volume 2 and MARVEL: Civil War Issue 1) when Khairi called me. Told me that one of his platoon mates had been hospitalised at Tan Tock Seng so he had to go see him first. He asked if I wanted to tag along and since I'm always game for anything, I agreed. So, with Herzy's whereabouts at that time still unknown, I met Khairi at Novena MRT and headed off to Tan Tock Seng.

I was a bit freaked out when I met Khairi's platoon mate who'd been admitted. His condition was pretty severe and the dude was in pretty bad shape overall. The sad part is, he's one of those on-the-ball types during the first couple of weeks (this is what Khairi told me). But once he got rejected for a possible career as a pilot, he became depressed and that's when all his sickness kicked in. Pretty fucking odd what has happened to him. I hope he gets better, because he really seems like a cool individual who's quite knowledgeable and good at keeping things in perspective. After we left Tan Tock Seng, we headed over to Toa Payoh to meet another old classmate that Khairi's hung out with a bit. Something about settling a debt. There's more to this than I'm publishing here, but I do not really want to talk about it to begin with. Long story short, after leaving Toa Payoh, we found out that we could not contact Herzy and had to assume he bailed on us. Fucker. The plans for the movie went to bust and Khairi & I settled on having dinner at Plaza Singapura whilst talking about girls: our most favoured topic of discussion. =]

By the time I got home last night, it was confirmed that Pasir Ris/Punggol GRC had been won by the PAP. Went to vote yesterday morning with my Mom, and since voting is confidential (HAHAHA), I can't reveal who I voted for. It was no surprise that the PAP won, and they did so garnering 68% of the votes. On the whole, the PAP did reasonably well in the General Elections. There was never any doubt of that, to begin with... but I would think that the PAP would have been hoping for a more conclusive margin of victory. They *seem* to be happy with the outcome, at any rate, so... whatever.

Woke up at half past noon today, and just been reading comics & watching movies for most of the time. I suspect I will not be able to sleep early tonight and that will not bode well for what I have to do tomorrow. I'm just pleased that the coming week is a short one, due to the holiday on Friday. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to go out with Sabrina after her Dad destroyed our plans to hang out yesterday and today. I am SO NOT HAPPY with him right now. =[

OUT.

"gentlemen, we do not wave our genitals at one another to make a point!"

2006-05-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

The other day, whilst at BORDERS, I saw this girl. She wasn't overly attractive or anything, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Why? Simple; the girl was wearing this tiny skirt, and due to that, practically everybody could see a tattoo of a dragon on her upper thigh area. Weird girl. What could possess her to get a tattoo in THAT spot of all places? Also, her tiny skirt was extremely ugly and so not flattering on her. HAHAHA. I'm such a mean fucker.

Yeah, anyways, I purchased two graphic novels at BORDERS on Wednesday. One of them is 'CAPOTE IN KANSAS', a fictionalised version of Truman's Capote foray into mundane Middle America in the late 1950s to write a book on the infamous Clutter family murders.

Apparently, it's not readily available in Singapore and there was only one copy of it at BORDERS. I got a chance to read it this morning on the way to SFT and duly finished it by the time I reached my destination. I'm blessed with super-fast reading/comprehension skills, you see. Anyways, it's a great read. The artwork is nothing breathtaking and the story is not all that new... but still, it explores the various facets of Truman Capote and his struggle to piece together the story that would make him insanely famous, In Cold Blood. Of course, this version is merely a fictional form of Capote's experiences. It strays away from the actual story covered in In Cold Blood while hinting at what was covered in the movie Capote. All in all, I think it's money well spent. Truman Capote is a literary genius and one of America's finest writers. I've read his other famous piece of work, Breakfast At Tiffany's before... and I enjoyed it immensely. Can't wait until I get my hands on the DVD of the movie.

In any event, like I mentioned in my previous post, tomorrow is Voting Day. And apparently, according to my Mom, there is a serious consequence if you don't vote when you're supposed to. The government will hunt you down and tell you straight to your face that by not voting, it's equivalent to you giving up your right as a citizen of this country. Make of that what you will, heh. I've decided upon who to vote, and really, it's no surprise. The government claims we have a no choice, but in reality? There's no choice. This is the way of politics in general. Just gotta learn to deal with it.

OUT.

"well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny."

2006-05-05T20:22:00.000+08:00

Today was a very pedestrian day by all accounts. Was on the 0930 fastcraft to Tekong with Tim, who was making cracks about Thiban the whole time (only three of us in Tekong today). For the whole morning, the three of us just slacked in the bunk, talking and cracking jokes. Tim was especially hilarious. It's quite funny; when I first joined the Tekong Team, Tim was all business and spoke to me seriously on many occasions. Now, he's just a riot! I think it's because he's finishing up his NS. Man, this is the guy who was in the same primary school as me. It kind of sucks to see someone the same age as me finishing NS while I've still got more than 12 months to go. BLAH~!

So, yeah, there were two lessons in the afternoon. I wanted to teach Taurus COY, but ended up taking Bronco COY for Lesson 7. I had never done Lesson 7 before, so Tim was there to guide me, and he even stepped in when there was some confusion over one of the rifle fighting techniques that Alex taught to the Bronco recruits on Tuesday. Surprisingly, Bronco COY survived the lesson without getting screamed at or punished by me. Something of a miracle; mainly because Bronco's always been suffering my wrath whenever I take them for a lesson, and also due to the fact that I've been in the mood to give people hell for the last week. Guess the streak's dead cold now, huh? Good news for all you BMTC recruits, you hear? Anyways, I was home by 1545 and just been doing nothing important since then. Oh yeah, Harvey Norman's technical department (which is an outsourced company by the by) finally called me today. There's a very interesting story behind all this.

Okay, here's how it goes. I called Harvey Norman on Tuesday for an update on my computer's comatose CPU. Yes, I actually had to CALL the technicans in order to find out just what the bloody hell was going on. I was promptly transferred to the outsourced company that takes care of product maintenance and repair. Once I was through, I explained my case and provided them with the invoice number. Thing is, the service technican I was speaking to didn't seem to have a clue what was going on and where my CPU was. He had to ask me what my product was and also asked me to check if the invoice number was correct. That seriously got me to *almost* crap my pants. Thankfully, after a couple of minutes, the service technican was able to ensure that they had my CPU with them. It seems, though, he didn't know what the exact cause of my CPU failure was. All he knew was it was taking so long because they were 'waiting for parts', which sounded so annoyingly vague. Also, he assured me that my CPU's memory was intact and that he'd call me within the following two days to inform me when they'd deliver the CPU.

Well, when they didn't call by Thursday evening, my Dad got pissed. He took the invoice from me and told me he'd handle it. Let me fill ya in: my Dad is the bane of all customer support services... only if they're inefficient. Once they give off an iota of incompetence, my Dad will exploit it and make people regret they are so incapable of doing their job probably. This evening, a service technician called me and apologised profusely for the problems caused. He mentioned that my Dad called him and basically reduced him to a stammering mess. The bottomline was, I'm scheduled to get back my CPU -- which suffered from a motherboard malfunction -- on Monday evening. I told the technician that everything was cool, but explained that the reason my Dad was so hard on him was because the technician I spoke to on Tuesday basically didn't know what the fuck he was doing and failed to live up to his promise.

Now, after conferring with my Dad who just returned from work a short while ago, he told me the whole story. Let's just say, he ripped the service technician a new arse. But more importantly, there's something fishy going on. It does not take TWO MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS TO REPLACE A FAULTY MOTHERBOARD. MY BROTHER'S COMPUTER HAD THE SAME PROBLEM SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, AND THE TECHNICIAN FROM ACER REPLACED THE MOTHERBOARD ON THE FUCKING SPOT. Gah. Bloody frustrating. I'm just hoping that when they show up with my CPU on Monday, they can explain to me in a convincing fashion just exactly what went wrong and why it had to take two weeks to fix the problem.

Anyways, I must go calm down now. Just very pissed at the whole situation. I'm also going to look over the options of which party to vote for tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is the much-awaited Voting Day. It's been an interesting couple of weeks for the parties who have campaigned ferociously and with much vigour. Tomorrow, however, it's time for the people of Singapore to let their feelings be revealed. And I shall be voting for the very first time in my life. It's quite... exciting, I must confess.

OUT.

"why have we been spending so much money on whistles?"

2006-05-04T21:28:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, when I was having trouble getting to sleep at night, I had a sudden idea for an online project. And for about forty minutes after that thought popped into my head, I began to imagine the project becoming a huge success on an unprecedented scale. So much so that my e-mail inbox would be flooded by both appreciative mails and hate-mail. I'd also end up on a talkshow with Diana Ser talking about how the project came about and how it became such a massive hit. Following which, I'd receive offers to expand on the project in many mediums, thereby earning bucketloads of money.

Up to now, I'm not sure if all of that was just imagination due to sleep deprivation or a serious series of thoughts based on how I think the project could really work. At any rate, I did follow up on my idea and wrote some stuff down. I really do think it could be something huge if I do it right, but at the same time, I'm wondering how to package so that it reaches a wide audience and doesn't get shot down due to the tricky nature of the content. I guess everything will become clearer to me once I have the time to sit down and really work on this project with no distractions.

Feeling rather unwilling to do anything constructive this evening. I was messing around with a template of a future site I plan to launch soon, but after a while, I didn't really like the progress I made... so, I just left it as it was. Been looking at eBay SG for the last hour or so, and it really boggles the mind as to why people would sell USED CLOTHING over the Internet. Stuff like panties and socks; seriously, what are these people thinking? I'm also wondering about just how trustworthy people are. I have this on my mind because some time back, I won a bid for some PS2 games. I transferred the money over to the seller and provided her with my address & everything. Turns out, though, the bitch never sent the games. When I tried to e-mail her back, her account's suddenly inactive. Fucking hell. ME, getting ripped off? IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN. It did, though. No worries. I'll track down the cunt and make her pay, one way or the other. The point I'm trying to make here is this: don't be fucking twats and cheat people of money over the Internet. You'll never know who you piss off in the process.

Now, getting off that negative train of thought, I turn my attentions toward tomorrow. There's no lesson in the morning, but as per the code of conduct, I have to catch the 0930 fastcraft to Tekong. There are two lessons in the afternoon at the same time, so I'll probably teach one of them. Maybe I'll take Taurus COY again and see if they groan at the mere sight of me at the start of the lesson. Next week, Viper COY will finally start their BCCT. I'm psyched about this because *I* was from Viper COY, and one of my SHATEC buddies is currently in there too. So looking forward to teaching them. =D

OUT.

"well, they've got one guy who won’t be talking. that is, unless there's a hand inside of him."

2006-05-04T15:59:00.000+08:00

Ahhh, is there anything better than lazing around in the afternoons? Probably. But hey, I know a good thing when I see it and when I'm experiencing it, so I'll just leave things as they are. Anyways, I have two days worth of material that I want to get off my chest. But for once, nothing really negative to report. That's odd, isn't it? Usually, most blogs I chance upon are overflowing with extremely vicious accounts of how badly somebody's day was, or how horrible the situation is in somebody's life. I'm guilty of it, myself. Then again, I believe blogs plastered with only positive stories would be quite sickening to read, no? Either way, I guess all that really matters for the majority of bloggers is having a place to voice out their feelings and emotions. Works for me.

So, yesterday morning, I went to Tekong with Robin. Told him how things work in Tekong and we both engaged in some gossip sharing about our batch-mates and some other stuff. I swear, we were almost like schoolgirls! Anyways, after the seniors arrived at 0945 (Jon Lau showed up for whatever reason -- guess he was bored), Robin and I went to Mohawk COY to teach Lesson Six. Which is, of course, the introduction to the rifle fighting phase. I think I did quite okay. I was slightly rattled by having to fill up thirty to forty minutes explaining the rifle fighting techniques; because, really, the whole thing can actually be done in about twenty minutes. In the end, it didn't pose much of a problem as I hoped. Yesterday was the second day of the selection process for future CCIs. One of my SHATEC classmates in Bronco COY had his selection on Tuesday, and I heard he fared rather well... but he lacked aggression and didn't really stand out. Gotta break the bad news to him. So far, from what Chris is telling me, the selection is not going too well. Not many people are standing out. And having witnessed the last five minutes of the selection process for Mohawk COY, I have to agree. All I'm really hoping for, though, is that there are at least 15 people selected to be the 64th Batch of CCIs. The more juniors they are, the better for us in the 63rd Batch.

After all of that, I packed my things and went home, since I had the afternoon off. I had a couple of errands to run. I started my spending spree, by purchasing a really ritzy pair of blue jeans and another polo tee (which I need a lot of because us CCIs are not allowed to wear roundneck shirts to book into camps). I also bought plastic spectacles, which I'm sincerely hoping will last me until the end of my NS. My current pair of spectacles? Getting hard to maintain and it's also becoming a liability when I have to teach and demonstrate techniques to my men. Also managed to activate my very old POSB savings account, which was revived by borrowing 400 bucks from my brother (they have a stupid rule about need $500 in the account or they will start deducting money -- which they indeed did with my account) and also the Progress Package bonanza. Now, all that I have left to buy are a pair of really comfortable going-out shoes, several figure-fitting roundneck t-shirts as my current set is getting outdated, and a colour/photo printer. I'm not keen on spending over $120 on shoes. You might call me stingy; I prefer the term 'frugal spender'. I was back home by 1445, and decided to prepare for the evening by watching... Mission: Impossible II!

Now, I had heard from a lot of people that this movie sucked. That was the reason why I didn't catch the flick when it was released in theaters. Having watched it yesterday afternoon, I have some thoughts. It most certainly didn't blow, but it wasn't as groundbreaking as the first movie. Why? A combination of things, really. Firstly, the score for the movie included many very modern and hip songs (and remixes). I think the score failed to build tension when tension was needed in certain scenes, like the climactic ending sequence. Secondly, John Woo had a vision for this movie to be very stylish; meaning, he had hoped for the movie to thrive on the fighting scenes and the various stunts. He didn't really give much attention to the storyline, which wasn't anything special. HOWEVER, I read somewhere that the original cut of the movie was supposed to be three and a half hours long, which was balked at by distributors. This resulted in the shortening of the movie, and therefore, the existence of the flat plot and some cramming of important details into throwaway scenes. Finally, Tom Cruise was forced to potray Ethan Hunt like a badass Superman-esque hero that didn't really rely on wit and intelligence. Rather, Hunt used fancy stunts and catlike agility and wicked martial arts skills to save the day. Overall, it's not a bad movie. It was pretty exciting at some points, but there was just... something left to be desired.

Still, I left at 1645 still very excited about Mission: Impossible III. I was a tad bit early, so I headed over to BORDERS and bought a couple of graphic novels. I'll talk about them another time. Finally met my Dad at Lido twenty minutes before the show was scheduled to start. He explained to me that the first screening of the movie was reserved for the corporate clients of Citibank, and since his office does business with Citibank on a regular business, that is how he scored the tickets. I expected to be the only dude not looking like a working professional... but I was wrong. Still, I was honoured and stoked. Once the movie started, I was on the edge of my seat for nearly the whole time. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! I strongly urge everybody to go and watch it as soon as possible. From start to finish, the action was exhilirating and the writing was tight. The performances of all the major characters were absolutely ace. In my mind, Mission: Impossible III trumps the first movie. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I believe this to be the best movie this year so far. It will take a mammoth effort for any other movie to try and top this! Still, the year is far from over. Anything can happen.

Anyways, I was back home before 2200 and passed out on the bed with the television on a couple of hours later. Don't know how that happened. Today was more of the same from yesterday; Robin and I went over to Taurus COY. I was hoping after giving them hell on Monday, they would know what I expected from them. And for a while at the start of the lesson, everything was going fine. Then, for some reason, they lost their concentration and fucked around with me. The result? For almost 12 minutes, all I did was give them punishment after punishment. SERIOUSLY. Whenever I gave them a chance to redeem themselves, they had to go and fuck it all up again. My patience was running out and I damn near killed all of them. Finally, they got their act together. During the break, Tim (who had popped up just I started the lesson) told me I went completely overboard. He wasn't angry at me or anything, but he was just informing me that I had to cool it. I explained the situation to the Taurus recruits after I sped through the rest of the lesson. I think they understood why I almost murdered them like lambs to the slaughter, but I am under the impression that if they see me walking around town this weekend, they might just try something funny. Oh well.

Once again, I left right after the lesson, and I've been spending my afternoon doing absolutely nothing. Talked to Sabrina for a while, and did some writing. Other than that, I was just lying on the bed... looking at my fan spin around non-stop. This is possibly the last time I will have this luxury for a very long time. I'm sooo grateful for this chance to just recharge myself, as the coming weeks -- in terms of teaching in Tekong -- will prove to be a challenge for me.

OUT.

"you don't fire crazy. you never fire crazy."

2006-05-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

Don't you just get all worked up when someone you don't know keeps staring at you while you're quietly sitting on a bus? Like, what reason does ANYONE have for staring... at a guy? I mean, if you're checking out a girl who's cute or has big tits... then, that's fine (as in it's a valid reason). The next time anyone stares at me on a bus like he wants to inflict some grevious bodily harm on me, I'm going to lay the SMACKDOWN on his candy ass. If he smells what The Rock is cooking. And it ain't chicken rice, that's for damn sure.

Now that I've gotten that out my system, HURRAY. What a wonderful day it was today. I thought it was going to be incredibly hectic and tiring, but it wasn't. Well, that's not completely true. I couldn't sleep last night again, and only clocked four hours of sleep. So I was slightly lethargic early on in the morning. Just as I raised myself from the state of sleep deprivation to teach a class at 1000, Tim took it off my hands. Pretty cool, huh? I was all prepared to teach, but Tim -- for whatever reason -- decided to take the class. After lunch, I was supposed to take one lesson at 1330 and another lesson at 1530. However, the 1530 was pushed up to 1330. This meant that instead of thinking I had three lessons to teach yesterday, I only ended up teaching... ONE. Wicked! The lesson I taught was Taurus COY's Lesson 2, and looking at them during their warm-up, I couldn't help but feel pissed. Those damn recruits thought they were in for an easy ride, and thus, decided to adopt a totally 'couldn't-care-less' mindstyle. It was the wrong day to try and pull that kind of stunt. I gave them a preview to the fiery pits of Hell for their troubles. So much so that when they retreated to the training shed when the clouds turned back, a couple of them mentioned their happiness at being 'saved from further punishment'. Unfortunately for them, I took the lesson to the foyer, where I told them why I was so hard on them. That seemed to spark an improvement in their overall standard... so, at the end of the day, I was pleased.

Tomorrow will a very short WORKING day for me, as I have the afternoon off. Robin, another batch-mate of mine who's coming over from the Sembawang Team (or rather the North Area) to the East Area, will be in Tekong tomorrow. Up to me to show him the ropes, which should be rather interesting. What do I have planned for tomorrow afternoon? I think I'm going to buy a new pair of swank jeans, go to the bank (POSB) to get an ATM card for this very ancient account of mine, and look at purchasing new spectacles. After which, it's off to catch the premiere of Mission: Impossible III in the evening! Man, I'm so pumped. The first time I caught Mission: Impossible, I was blown away. I had watched a couple of episodes of the series which aired waaaay back in the day... and so naturally, I was excited. Suffice to say, the movie was a smash hit. Believe it or not, I've never caught the second movie. Which was perhaps the reason behind me downloading it yesterday; too bad I don't have the time to watch it. No big deal, though. I plan to watch it this weekend anyways. That's how good I think the movie will turn out to be.

The primary reason behind my excitment is because J.J. Abrams is at the helm of this monster. The man has done many great things on television before; Felicity, Alias, and of course... Lost which I absolutely love. The man has great vision and an extremely unique way of storytelling. Plus, Tom Cruise is starring in the movie. Love him or hate him, you can't deny he has an immense presence on the screen. I'm also looking forward to watching Philip Seymour Hoffman play a real villain. The man has a knack of making people stand up and take notice of him. It was no surprise he won the Academy Award for his awesome performance in Capote. All in all, Mission: Impossible III just shaping up to be a great movie experience.

And for someone who's a movie buff at heart, I cannot ask for anything more. Hopefully, I'll be able to give my initial thoughts on the movie tomorrow night, and perhaps do a full review this weekend after I watch it again with Sabrina. If you couldn't already tell that I'm excited over this... well, now you know! =D

OUT.

"what? oh, no! it's the cops! oh! and a .. construction worker. "

2006-05-01T18:58:00.000+08:00

It's good to have days where you don't have to worry about doing anything. Today was one of those days. Tomorrow, however, will be a busy day. There are to be a lot of lessons to be taught tomorrow, and it promises to be a long day. On the plus side, there is no plus side. Except for having a short week to deal with. Hopefully, it'll fly past without any trouble.

I couldn't sleep last night, and something suddenly came to my mind; my old blog. And by that, I mean the first one I ever did on my own (a non-shared blog). Surprisingly, I tracked it down without much trouble (you can find it here), and had a good time reading through the old entries. Made me think of my ex, Angelina, as well. I shared some good times with that woman. The last time I actually had a conversation with her? I believe it was in late February, where she messaged me and asked what I was doing in Orchard Road when I was supposed to be serving NS. She was surprised but tickled when I told her about the flexible hours of my vocation.

Anywho, I was supposed to watch a movie with Sabrina today, but neither of us could be bothered to go to Tampines to do so. I ranted about the pathetic lack of a cinema in Pasir Ris for about an hour before she suggested just having lunch at Swensen's. We did just that, before she went home and I... too went home. Did some much needed cleaning of my room (which gets too damn dusty for its own good). For the rest of the afternoon, I just listened to music and read webcomics while catching up on my programming. I used to be an EXCELLENT programmer but months upon months of inactivity have left me rusty. I appreciate the chance to brush up on simple HTML coding. Hopefully, within a couple of months, I can improve myself to the point where doing projects for lazy students is not out of the question, ha. Also, yes, since I'm on the topic of webcomics; notice what I added to the left sidebar, at the bottom. Its purpose is more for my convenience of visiting them than anything else... but if you guys have time to kill, I suggest checking them out.

Aye, so the reason I was working on programming in the afternoon was because I finished one of the many writing projects I've embarked on, and I needed a site to collate all the chapters of the story that I've done. It took me a grand total of 14 days to piece together the entire story (which is essentially the biography of a random character that stretches up to the current date), and I'm pretty proud of it. To be more specific, this character was cooked up completely out of thin air when I needed a very minor supporting character whilst I was in the thick of my wrestling roleplaying in late 2004. I simply decided to revive him from the dead as I saw potential to do some great things with the character. Granted, I've forgotten the small bit of history I did up for him (Li Mu Bai is the character's name) back in 2004, but that gave me a chance to fabricate a more exciting backstory. I'm thoroughly keen on working on this character for some time to come, and that's why I needed a blog to store the progress of his story. Once I'm satisfied with how the site looks, I shall pass the link around.

Now I've got all that out of the way, I can enjoy the rest of the night doing nothing. Looks like it's going to rain, too. Me thinks this would be a perfect time to prepare for my lessons tomorrow. I want to make myself the kind of CCI that will eventually have everything at his fingertips. Figure I might as well start today, eh?

OUT.

"ever since you started going to night school, you've been giving me headaches."

2006-04-30T17:25:00.000+08:00

This is the last day in the month of April of the year 2006. That sounded more significant than I intended it to be. In any case, I'm quite glad tomorrow is a public holiday. Because, I'm having fun doing absolutely fuck all. Which actually comprises of writing, watching DVDs, playing games, and going clubbing.

Yes, I went clubbing last night. Actually, to be more precise, I went to a club... but I really didn't do anything. I was supposed to hang out with Sabrina last night, and at one point, there were plans to perhaps go catch a movie. Then, her Dad called, saying he'd be back by 2330. Let me tell you all a little something about Sabrina's darling Dad; he's very strict and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me wooing his daughter because I'm apparently too much of a ruffian. So, yes, I told Sabrina not to sweat it, and that we'd reschedule our plans for a movie for this coming Monday. That's when my friend Bradley called me, and said his wife gave him the go-ahead to have a guys' night out. Man, that fucker is soooo whipped. So, with not much to do, I agreed to go to MOS with him.

A brief primer is in order; I used to club a lot, when I was in secondary school. By the time I was 19, I grew out of the phase. Weird, no? That's me for you. I rarely go to clubs nowadays, unless I have to follow a friend to do something AFTER clubbing or if somebody has a party and I need to show my face for the sake of it. I'm not sure why I so readily agreed to go to MOS last night, but I regretted it. The place was packed with a bunch of extreme losers. And I saw many a transverstite hanging around, giving me the evil eye. I spent a grand total of two hours there before I told Bradley I was going to head home. He was too smashed to care. Anyways, I don't really have a good impression of MOS anymore. I went there the second week it opened here (just to check it out), and thought it was okay... but there was no urgent need to go back there after that. Between then and last night, I've heard stories of how MOS -- at one time for a period of four or five weeks -- had absolutely shitty business. Then, it became cool to hang out there again. Either way, I'm in no hurry to go back there. EVER AGAIN. Not even if you put a gun to my head. Maybe if you gave me 400 bucks, I'd go there. Maybe. I sincerely doubt it, though.

I aim to go for a 5KM run tomorrow morning. A few weeks ago, I used to go running almost every other day after returning from work in Tekong. Then, the afternoon rain kept cropping up and that prevented me a chance from doing my rounds. Got to get back and make sure I don't collapse while running tomorrow. I've made up my mind to run at least three times a week in the month of May, in order to train my usually lousy stamina. I also made up my mind to use a quote from Arrested Development for the title of every blog post I make in May. I'm so sad the show is cancelled; it's a damn shame, really. Lucky for me, I have every episode of the show on disk. If you guys have never seen it, I strongly urge you to check it out. The level of the humour on the show is not for everyone, but once you get it... you'll never stop loving it.

OUT.

"we can be as different as we want to be, but you can't kill people!"

2006-04-29T12:22:00.000+08:00

Guess what? It is Saturday! My favourite day of the week, truth be told. This time next week, I shall be casting my first political vote ever. I received my polling card yesterday, and I'm quite excited. Of course, I'm a bit suspicious about why there is a need for a serial number on the polling card. It didn't take long for my Mom, who has been involved in grassroots organisations many years ago, to explain it to me. I wish I could talk about it in great detail here... but alas, I fear Big Brother (SG version) clamping down on me taking blatant advantage of the supposed freedom of speech and expression. So, yeah, that's all I shall say about the matter.

Yesterday was quite a normal day in Tekong. There was a lesson in the morning with Pegasus COY, which I handled quite easily. Chris was there to observe me, since it was his last day as Team IC and all. Once again, he re-affirmed that I did a good job and told me to just keep on working on keeping my technique sharp. Tim, who was really funny on all counts yesterday, jokingly told me I was still a bit long-winded in my briefings. That's code for 'hurry up and finish the lesson so that we can slack more'. Thiban taught Scorpion COY at 1000, and he was a bit rusty... but he did alright. Not to sound like a giant prick or anything, but I believe I have a more interesting and fluid style of teaching than he does. Tim more or less agreed with me. Then again, Thiban's been on a couldn't-care-less kick lately... mainly because he's taught so many lessons over the course of the last six or months. Can't blame him for feeling bored of teaching in Tekong. Totally understandable, from my point of view. The lesson after lunch was taught by Chris and myself. The weather was insanely hot, so we didn't plan to punish the Mohawk recruits... but after a while, they fucked up. So, we gave them hell. Literally. Even I think Chris and I (mainly him =D) went a touch over the line... but the sergeants and officers of Mohawk COY didn't seem to care. Anyways, the lesson ended with Chris telling me once again that I did well. Complete turnaround from his attitude the previous week. I guess it has something to do with Jon Lau. And I think I'm insulting myself by using the word 'guess' in that last sentence.

I must also mention that yesterday was the first day in the week that it didn't rain. Or rather, I didn't get caught in any rainy situations. Hurrah for that. I don't mind my hair being messed up and my shirt getting wet due to a deluge... but I hate when my feet get soaked because of the shitty drainage system in Pasir Ris. Absolutely hate it. Either the drainage system needs to be fixed, or I need to get better shoes. Considering I plan to start spending my money on MYSELF in May, I'll go with the latter. I have tons of things to buy, including a bunch of new clothes. It's a good thing the 'Progress Package' from the 'government' -- I'm being satirical there -- has already come in. Can't be a coincidence that the decision to credit people with their respective 'Progress Package' money is merely one week before the General Elections, eh?

Managed to get a lot of writing done last night before I went and had myself a hell of a good time. Long story short, my favourite girl ever (SABRINAAAA~) came back from a one-month holiday from The Netherlands. And since she returned prematurely, without her Dad and her sister, that meant I had the chance to spend some quality time with her. Make of that what you will. All in all, it was a great day to be me yesterday. I can't believe I thought I was going to have terrible luck yesterday. Never been glad to be more wrong. Going to go out with Sabrina again later tonight, but for now... I'm just slacking at home, wondering just when the hell Harvey Norman is going to return my computer to me.

I AM NOTHING WITHOUT MY SUPER COMPUTER! =[

OUT.

"that's how you do it. that's how you debate."

2006-04-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I messed around with the layout of the site a bit. I might make a couple more changes tomorrow evening, if time permits. Then again, I have a lavish & romantic meal to prepare for. It's a long story; one I'm not about ready to share here. And since I'm going off on tangents again, I have the opportunity to catch the premiere of Mission: Impossible III next Wednesday evening. My Dad scored some tickets due to his work. This time last year, he had tickets for Star Wars: Episode III... but I was unable to go because of work. I still feel bad for that, and thus, I ensured that I wouldn't be busy next Wednesday by applying for half a day off. I also took half a day off for next Thursday, ha. Looking forward to catching up on some intense and highly creative writing next week.

Anyways, the last two days have been... rather uneventful. The drama at Tekong has more or less toned down. Had one lesson yesterday morning with Scorpion COY, which I pulled off rather well. Chris said my class control was great, but only my technique needs a bit more polishing. Sentiments echoed by Alex, who seemed really impressed by how well I could project my voice and use it to command the attention of the recruits. The big news, however, was that there would no longer be Team ICs in our vocation anymore. Everything that a Team IC used to do would now be handled by Area ICs... and for all intents & purposes, there are no longer any official teams. I was told, though, that I would probably end up staying in Tekong and eventually taking charge of one of the BMTC schools. Also, there's another one of my batch mates who's in the East Area now: Robin! This is great news for me, as there will be someone other than Reuben that will help me rule the East Area next year when the 63rd Batch become the top-ranking seniors~! Okay, so that's overstating it a little, but hey, I've got to look forward to SOMETHING, innit? Back to yesterday in Tekong; the afternoon lesson with Eagle COY was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances, so I joined Tim to teach Orion COY. The deal was for me to teach the remaining striking techniques while Tim (who was in the mood to teach willingly) would cover combination moves. The damned weather forced us to move to the foyer just as we were about to start, and the result was a watered down version of our original plans for the lesson. Tim ended up doing the whole lesson, and I was his punching bag again. No sweat at all. Yesterday seemed to mark an end to all the high tension and intense drama in Tekong that has been swirling around for a few weeks. Jon Lau was especially quiet yesterday, too. All in all? Screw the problem play that may or may not arise. I'm just going to work on being more refined in my techniques while constantly improving the way I disseminate information and explanations during briefings. No longer is there a need for me to fight the odds, I feel. I've reached the plateau where I've more or less proven my worth, I feel. Tomorrow should be a test of how far I've advanced in just a matter of nine days.

What did I do today, then? I had to go back to HQ. Why? This particular person in my unit (a senior), who I hear has never taught lessons ever since he passed out (as he was brought into the HQ team for reasons of absolute suckiness) and probably has never gone to Tekong ever since passing out as a recruit, decided to do so today in my place. Just so that he could escape having to go for some monthly Pasir Laba Camp Parade. This is all a working theory, sure, as I have no concrete evidence. Nevetheless, I'm sticking to my guns that this was exactly his intentions. Son of a bitch. I had to wake up at 0445 in the morning because of this dumbass parade. Which ended up lasting for a mere 35 minutes. Fucking hell. I did absolutely fuck all this morning. In the afternoon, I had to accompany some unknown soldier to Bedok Camp to introduce him to his new unit. Don't ask me why or for what; I'm rather murky on the details. I'm only grateful about the fact that having to execute that errand meant I arrived home at 1715 today. Felt so good, heh. That's it. That's the story of my fucking boring day.

I must comment on a rather weird phenomenon that occured this afternoon. After I left PLC to escort the unknown soldier to Bedok Camp, public transportation -- for once -- didn't seem to conspire against me. The buses that I needed to catch arrived promptly with minimal wait, and the train ride was smooth (mostly). This is absolutely stunning. Which is why I think I will have really awful luck tomorrow. It's just a feeling I have. Bollocks. =[

OUT.

"twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet."

2006-04-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

There's been a bit of a buzz currently on our fair land, and it's all linked to the now-confirmed General Elections. I've never been one for local politics, to be honest. Ask me about political issues in England or the US or even Australia, and I'll be able to talk about it at length. Local politics? Never been interested. Maybe because I've never been able to vote, and therefore, express myself as a citizen of this country. Now, though, after having witnessed two GEs come and go... it's finally time to vote in the third GE in my lifetime. The only reason I'm actually excited about voting is because the opposition could be coming to my consistuency. Thrilling stuff, actually.

Of course, there's nothing to the local political scene. The PAP will win, quite comfortably. They always do. There's no real reason to be disgruntled and loathe the PAP, unless you're like me and antagonistic for all the wrong reasons. Still, it'd be nice to see the PAP get challenged all the way this time around. I think the local political landscape could do with a dash of controversy. Speaking of which, there was a television show a couple of weeks back where a bunch of young (and supposedly hip) Singaporeans were invited to quiz MM Lee about the state of politics in Singapore. Apparently, they were all fired up and anxious to speak up. This caused a backlash, in terms of people saying these youngsters were extremely disappointing and ungrateful. Yes, you read correctly. Ungrateful.

For what, pray tell? For voicing out THEIR OPINIONS? You know, a particular belief that each individual is entitled to, no matter how askewed it may be? Yes, this is the society we are living in. A society that frowns upon people speaking up and throwing forward their own opinions against someone who is labelled the most powerful authority figure in the country. MM Lee is an old man. He's not some young punk. He can handle himself, and according to sources, he easily answered all questions and queries during the dialogue with the young adults. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed to the dialogue, one must assume. So, what's the deal with people saying the young adults had no right doing what they were doing? IT'S A FUCKING DIALOGUE. WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO; WAX LYRICALS ABOUT NOSEHAIR?

On the other hand, after having watched the highlight reel of the dialogue, I have to say that the panelists of young adults did an abysmal job. The questions they asked... for a lack of a better word, sucked ass. I mean, seriously. A once-in-a-lifetime chance to verbally spar with the MM and that's all they could come up with? Give me a break. I admire them for actually showing up and asking questions without looking totally afraid, but I'm sure they could have concocted more engaging questions. Alas, it's all done and over with, and we rumble on toward Nomination Day tomorrow, with the PAP camp once again feeling pretty darn confident of easy victory.

But like I said, it'd please me to no end if it wasn't such a one-horse race overall. Maybe it will spur the PAP to do something drastic, like scrapping the mandatory-ness of NS. A dream, you say? Perhaps. In which case, I'll make sure to either my children are all girls or if there's a boy... I'd have saved up enough money to send him out of the country by the time it's his turn to serve the nation. No use for him wasting two years of his life. =D

OUT.

"when you're dead, the one thing you want is to come back."

2006-04-25T19:42:00.000+08:00

You know how sometimes, there are days where you just feel so lethargic and sleepy that you have to literally fight your own senses to stay awake? No amount of coffee or distractions can keep you awake? I've been experiencing some sort of hangover since yesterday evening, and up to this very moment... I still feel tired. I still feel that I could perhaps take another two-hour nap to recharge myself. This kind of phenomenon is nothing new to me. I've always had a bittersweet affair with my body when it comes to sleeping. There was a point in time in my life where I didn't sleep for nine days straight. A couple of months ago, I was constantly staying out until the wee hours of the morning, which only left me about two hours or so to get some sleep before I had to wake up and report to camp. Sleep deprivation is a serious issue, which commonly leads chronic fatigue syndrome when a person reaches the age of forty (age of sixty for women if I'm not wrong). Not only do I suffer from a mild bout of chronic fatigue syndrome, I also flirted with narcolespy a few years ago. Not a pretty thing, narcolepsy. But hey, that's me for you. =]

Yesterday was not a good day. At all. Which perhaps goes to show that Mondays and I don't mix. Firstly, in the morning, my Dad dropped me off at the SFT. He stopped at a place where there is supposed to be 'NO WAITING, NO ALIGHTING, AND NO BOARDING!'... but he had merely stopped for a grand total of five seconds. However, the fucking sentry guards took issue with the incident and recorded my name down in a 'Military Offence' form. On one hand, I'm a bit peeved with my Dad as I had told him before not to drop me off at that particular point... but on the other hand, he had only stopped for five seconds. He didn't cause any traffic pile-ups or anything. IT WAS FIVE MEASELY SECONDS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. I was especially pissed with the sentry guard that tried his best to intimidate me. I mean, seriously. What the hell was his problem? I know he had a job to do... but if the roles were reversed, I would have simply given him a warning, based on the circumstances. Son of a bitch, if I see him on the streets or in town or whatever, he's going to get an ass-whooping.

Anyways, I had a lesson yesterday morning with Orion COY. I took the first half of the lesson, and Jon Lau took the second half. I didn't exactly light the world on fire or anything, but I more or less did a satisfactory job. Chris came later because of a mix-up, and unfortunately for me, he came right after I taught my half of the lesson. He mentioned that he had not seen me teach a whole lesson yet (which he has but I guess short-term memory is his friend), so I'd teach Mohawk's afternoon lesson. Chris then demonstrated how to teach Lesson 6, which is essentially the introduction to rifle fighting. After which, we went for lunch. I got into trouble once again; this time, for my goatee. This has been issue I've always skirted with since my enlistment. I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking hoo-ha over facial hair? As a human being, I have a right to grown facial hair, do I not? What the bloody hell is the SAF's fascination with being so strict on facial hair? Sometimes, I really think that the people that get on my case for this matter (mostly big shots) are jealous that they just can't grow anything on their face. In which case, I have this to say: HAHA @ U. Go fuck yourselves. You can't grow facial hair, so you get on my case just because I decide to let a little something something grow on my chin? Fuck you. Apparently, they didn't teach you fuckers in RACISM 101 that people like me are capable of growing copious amounts of facial hair in a short time. But, it's okay. Go ahead and reprimand me further. Make yourself feel like a big man. I understand.

Moving on. I went to Mohawk COY in the afternoon. Started off the lesson a bit shakily after initially punishing them (which apparently one of the Mohawk officiers liked), because Chris was there. I don't know why, I always get nervous when he's around to observe me teach. Maybe because he's the Tekong Team IC and all. Still, I don't get it. Anyway, I thought I did quite okay. Jon Lau wanted to take over to teach the remaining two segments of the lesson. Just at that moment, it began to rain... so the lesson was transformed to something of a lecture under shelter. During which, Chris told me that Lau had mentioned my demonstration was really not up to par, and that was the reason he took over my lesson. I just lost it at that point and voiced out that it was MY lesson. Even if I wasn't fluid in my demonstration, I should be able to continue taking MY lesson. How else was I going to improve, right? This basically led to a whole discussion on the state of politics currently abound and some other crap. I realised that Jon Lau isn't exactly the most well-liked person in the unit (not that it was any big surprise but I didn't expect the extent of the dislike to be on such a huge magnitude), and after yesterday, I didn't really like him either. Chris, on the hand, was quite understanding. He told me he's satisfied with the work I've done so far, but I could stand to improve on my techniques. Alex & Chris mentioned they would talk to Jon Lau... but by the time we made a move back to our bunk, I was just too pissed to pay attention to anything that was being said/re-iterated.

Today, though, was a different story. Only four of us -- sans Chris & Alex -- booked into Tekong at 0930, and for the whole morning, we just crashed in the bunk. I woke up at 1240 to get ready to teach the afternoon lesson at Ulysses COY. I should probably mention that Ulysses is Lau's favourite COY to teach... but I guess after Alex spoke to him yesterday, Lau was more than happy (in the 'my hands are tied so there's nothing I can do' way) to let me take the lesson. I was pscyhed. Once again, I was in a situation where I had to redeem myself. And I believe I did, once again. I took the whole lesson, save for Tim and Thiban (~!) stepping in to elaborate on some points. Other than that, there wasn't a hitch in my lesson. Jon Lau even said while my elbow strike was a bit different from the norm, it was probably the best strike he'd ever seen. Not sure if he was genuine about it or otherwise, but he looked like he meant it. SO, there.

I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me at the moment. I guess it's the matter of being consistent. I'm lucky that I don't even have to teach all the lessons wherever possible, like the previous juniors who have gone to the Tekong Team... but in a way, that's a downside. Either way, I now know that it's only my technique that needs work. And I'm practically halfway there. Give me another week or so, and I should be all set to teach without any problems. Just in time for the busy mid-May schedule, ha!

OUT.

"in the end, it's all nice."

2006-04-23T20:07:00.000+08:00

I know I mentioned I would talk about the fateful Menday of 17 April yesterday, but I was busy. With stuff. Like, you know, things. And yeah, there's a reason I'm being vague. It's because whatever I was busy with last night isn't worth mentioning. Anyways, I have to wake up quite early tomorrow. Earlier than usual when I have to go to Tekong, because I have a lesson at 0800 tomorrow morning. That bites. Keeping in the spirit of randomness, I have to say that Uma Thurman is one of my favourite actresses. She's versatile, she's hot, and she kicked ass in the Kill Bill movies. Why am I being so obstusely random? Not very sure, just in the mood for it.

So, anyways. The fateful Menday of 17 April. I've mentioned it many times, and have even gone as far as to say it's essentially the cause of this blog being resurrected from the dead. What exactly did happen on the fateful Menday? Let me get this tidbit out of the way first: if you're bored about me talking about what I currently do for a living, navigate away from this page. Stat. I mean it.

This past Menday (I call it Menday because I practically did not see any other woman besides my Mom the whole day), I was faced with the prospect of teaching Lesson One all the way through for the first time. Coupled with the fact that I actually hadn't taught much in the previous week and a half, and I was understandably nervous. I felt rusty. Especially because I had not taught Lesson One all the way through, which includes the initial briefing. I had faith in myself, though. Turns out, it wasn't nearly enough. When I walked over to Taurus COY, the sun was high up in the sky and beating down on me like it was going to explode at any second. It was THAT fucking hot. I started the briefing quite well, keeping mind that Chris wanted me to be uber-strict and firm and whatnot; basically, be like him. I was doing fine until Chris started motioning to me from the side that I was taking a bit too long. This jarred my focus and I started to get ramble a bit. My nerves were jangled.

A few minutes later, as I was starting to show the recruits what to do, I was really beginning to lose my footing, with Chris continuing to signal to me various things. Seeing no improvement in the way I was handling the class, Chris pulled me out and asked Tim to take over. Not only did it feel shitty, but I was quite ashamed. The recruits surely must have taught nothing of me. Chris so-called comforted me by saying I was quite alright, but I had taken too long with the briefing. Tim re-affirmed this fact after the class. I felt crappy at first, but after a while, that feeling turned to anger. It was MY class. They told ME to take it. What does it matter if I decide to take a little longer with my briefing? What does it matter if I employ my own style of teaching? I was coping just well until Chris started to motion to me from the sidelines.

The mixed feeling of anger and disappointment carried over in the afternoon, where Jon Lau -- who had no knowledge of what happened in the morning -- told me that he'd take the afternoon class with Orion COY, since I already taught one in the morning. So had he, in fact, but he wanted to do it anyway... he was hoping to split the class between himself and Jon Lim. Chris and Alex were gone by that time, so Tim informed Jon Lau of what happened in the morning. Which led to Jon Lau wanting to teach the lesson even more (as he now didn't trust me in teaching Lesson One for any COY anymore), while Tim suggested I gain more practice by taking the class myself. Eventually, we reached a compromise; Lau would give the briefing, I'd take the first half of the lesson, Lim would take the second half, and Lau would end with a little debrief. Tim was satisfied with this.

The lesson was held in the Parade Square, despite me asking the OC about an hour prior to hold the lesson elsewhere as the weather appeared unpredictable. He shot the request down, so there we were in the Parade Square. Lau was in fine form, giving his initial briefing like a real wizard. I took over, and performed -- by my own standards and compared to the morning -- pretty well. After only twelve minutes, it started to rain. I shot the OC of Orion a 'I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO' look... and we adjourned to the grandstand foyer. Once there, realising that we had wasted some precious time, I upped the tempo and quickly taught those punks my half of the lesson. While doing so, I noticed that the morale and standard of the recruits had improved ten-fold. It was amazing. Jon Lim soon took over, and taught them his half of the lesson. He did so without using a whistle, and was pretty intelligent in encouraging them to soldier on. The result? The standard of the recruits rocketed even higher... and as he handed over the lesson to Lau for the debriefing, the Orion COY recruits gave Lim a resounding round of applause. It was out of this world. I was impressed.

And yet, at the same time, I was a bit jealous. Tim mentioned that recruits clapping at the end of the lesson or whenever another instructor takes over for his segment of the lesson is nothing to gush over, or to be proud of. The thing is, I've always been someone who wants appreciation for the work I do. I've been that way for a very long time, but I've rarely ever gotten my due appreciation. So, yes, I was quite envious. As we were leaving at the end of the day, Lau mentioned that he wasn't overly blown away with my teaching. He expected more from me and said his standards were very high. After which, he continued to heap praise upon Jon Lim. Imagine how I felt at that very moment.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a summary of what happened on the fateful Menday of 17 April. I lost control of the one thing I taught I could do well, and my credentials were called into question. All in all, it wasn't a very good day. When I reached home, I seriously kicked the door to my room opened and punched the wall a few times. Maybe it sounds a bit over-dramatic, but I guess you needed to be in my shoes on that day. That's when I came to the conclusion that I needed a therapuetic outlet to unleash my frustrations. The rest, as the saying goes, is history. In a matter of a couple of days, I've regained my confidence.

What now, from here? Tomorrow, I attempt to continue building on the good jobs I did last Thursday and Friday. Chris will be around more this coming week, and it's imperative that I prove to him just what I am capable of. Will I wither under pressure again? I don't even want to think about it. I'm keeping my mind focused on showing the world I'm not one to be written off so damn easily!

OUT.

"too many little boys thinkin' they thugs."

2006-04-22T19:41:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, I went window-shopping for a DVD player. Believe it or not, I've never had my very own DVD player before. I had a hi-fi system which could play VCDs, sure, but not a DVD player. Usually, I'd just... acquire movies through *ahem* certain means and simply watch them on my computer. Then, I got my HP computer in 2004, and it was essentially a home entertainment system capable of reading DVDs of any format. So, yeah. Even if I needed to use a DVD player for whatever reason, my parents have had one in their room for about two years or so. Still, I decided to look around for a DVD player since I figured it's time I spoil myself.

Of course, when I was looking around for DVD players, many of the salesmen insisted in trying to sell me DVD recorders. I'd totally buy one instantly, if not for the insane price. Not that I can't afford it; it's just that I don't want to spend so much money on something which I wouldn't really use much in the near future. Anyways, I had shortlisted about four particular players that I had my eyes on, all of different brands. I told myself I'd go and do some extensive research, and finally purchase one by May. The idea of having a DVD player to my name became more of a need than a want once my computer refused to read a couple of the DVDs that my Dad bought from Thailand in March.

This past Tuesday, however, my Dad went out and purchased one for me. He happened to be looking for DVD recorders as well, as he needed to get one for his office. In the process, he chanced upon a real bargain for a really good Philips player with DivX capabilities. And thus, he got it for me. I just got around to fixing it up today... and I have to say, it's pretty wicked. It played all the DVDs that I got from from Thailand via my Dad, and even the ones that I purchased recently from a local website (season one of Dead Like Me -- a truly underrated show that sadly ended after only two seasons). That's not the best part. It even managed to read and play a burned CD-R which had a movie I "downloaded" off of a certain file-sharing program! Really outstanding. This DVD player is truly a piece of technological brilliance, and I shall take good care of it. Like it were a hot babe with huge tits. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Anyways, this new DVD player has me thinking about all the major items I want to spend my money on this year. Such as the Creative ZenVision:M, which I could easily purhcase now with no problems. But I think the price will go down quite a bit in the later half of the year, so I shall hold out. Why am I not buying Apple's Video iPod? I was considering it, until I did my research. And I have concluded, without much doubt, that Creative's ZenVision:M simply trumps Apple's darling Video iPod in almost all the important areas. I've never been someone who cares much for brand names. I say this, while looking at my Nike caps and Adidas bags. Ha. But seriously, I don't look at a brand of an item. I look at whether it will serve its purpose and function. And sometimes, the price. In this case, I look at the features and the video quality. And the ZenVision:M boasts better video quality and battery life and format support that the iPod. So, there you go.

At any rate, I estimate I will purchase the ZenVision:M by late August. I could simply mention to my parents my interest in the player and they would probably get it for my birthday... but I'd feel guilty. So, yes, I am determined to buy it on my own. I also suspect I shall get new plastic-rimmed glasses by the end of May (that will last me until the end of my term in NS) and possibly a brand new handphone by the end of this year. Of course, the usual stuff like new clothes and such will be mandatory purchases. In terms of the big things? I don't need much. Except maybe a new, powerful laptop. =D

OUT.

"new lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. for the heart is an organ of fire."

2006-04-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

So, I called HP tech support two days ago. Explained my case to them. The girl I spoke to, Lisa, sounded like she could be a hottie. I had the distinct feeling that she was diggin' me over the phone. Or maybe I'm trying to make myself feel better. Either way, she told me that my computer's warranty was only valid for one year, and as such, it'd cost a hell of a lot of money for the technician to come down and fix it. I did the only thing I could; I hung up (but not before bidding Lisa goodbye in the sweetest manner possible) and checked my documentation. Turns out, Lisa was right. However, I also discovered that I have a five-year extended warranty with Harvey Norman, which is the place my Dad got my computer. I was as giddy as a schoolgirl who's just found out she has breasts to flaunt... and promptly called Harvey Norman, determined to get my computer back to work this weekend.

The technician from Harvey Norman came down to my house today afternoon, whilst I was still in Tekong. According to my Dad, they had to absolutely take my CPU to the computer hospital as they were unable to repair it on the spot. Seems it will take three to five days before I will hear from them. This bites. Not only will the Harvey Norman people find my enormous stash of porn that I haven't touched in ages (I swear)... but there's the risk of all my music and movies and other stuff being wiped. Bloody hell, I seriously hope it doesn't come to that. I'd probably end up taking to the streets and beating up random people if my CPU were to come back to me totally devoid of all my stuff.

Anyways, the last two days teaching in Tekong have been an absolute blast. What a difference a couple of days and an epiphany makes. Let's start with yesterday, shall we? I was to teach Mohawk COY in the morning. It was their first lesson, which meant... yes, Jon Lau would give his infamous initial briefing. Take note, it was only myself and Jon Lau and Tim in Tekong yesterday. Three people. I liked that, because I don't see the point of six or seven people being there if there's only two lessons to teach the whole day. Anyways, there was a hitch early on; Mohawk COY came back from their bloody route march at 1020. Tim mandated that since the lesson was going to start late anyways, Jon would just give his briefing and I'd just brief them on their words of commands. So, the lesson started at 1105. Jon gave his usual charismatic briefing and after that, I took over. Despite only having to teach them the fundamentals that were the words of command, those punks didn't seem to really listen to me properly. Maybe it was the sun, maybe it was them being tired from their route march. Didn't matter; I gave them some punishment. Jon later told me that I was probably the first person to shout and punish them like that since their enlistment (these were direct enhancement recruits). He also pointed out that the sergeants seem impressed with me giving their men a little hell, ha. At the end of the lesson, Jon gave them another scintillating debriefing. As we concluded the lesson, the recruits actually clapped. Not wholeheartedly, sure, but there was definite clapping. I felt half-proud (since I did essentially take half the lesson), and Jon reassured me that I did a good job. The clapping, by the way, is linked to the fateful Menday of 17 April.

After lunch, Tim went to chill in the Specialists' Mess while Jon and I went back to the bunk. I made a detour first; to the guardroom, to collect my permanent Tekong pass. The story is this: last Monday, I was assured I'd be able to get my pass on Thursday (13 April). At 1545 last Thursday, prior to booking out, I went to claim my pass... but was told that the person in-charge was not around. What a ripoff. Why was it so important for me to get the pass? Basically, the pass allows me to take the free shuttle service from the Singapore Ferry Terminal back home if I book out of Tekong at 1700. This past Wednesday, I -- still without my pass -- tried to take the shuttle service, but was denied by the cranky bastard of the bus driver. The result? Let's just say the journey home was slow and long and miserable. End of that. ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE STORY (got to stop going off on tangents); Jon and I relaxed in the bunk and discussed what to do for the afternoon lesson, which was Lesson Two for Orion COY. And yes, if you have great deduction skills, Orion is another piece of the puzzle that is the fateful Menday of 17 April. I promise, I'll spill everything about the fateful Menday of 17 April tomorrow.

Okay, so, Lesson Two for Orion Coy. I told Jon that I'd cover everything that needs to be covered for Lesson Two, before letting him teach whatever else he wants to teach. He was fine with it. So, off we went, ready to see if Orion COY could keep up their good work. On the fateful Menday of 17 April, Orion COY did very well once they had to move to their granstand foyer (because of the rain). I mean, seriously, their shouting and everything was of the highest order. But I'll save the specifics of that for tomorrow; now, we shall concentrate on Thursday. I started off the lesson, full of confidence. Full of drive. Aware of what Orion COY was capable of, I made sure to use that to my advantage. I played with their minds. I explained as best as I could about the techniques they were learning. Every now and then, Jon and Tim would step in to offer extended explanations and such. By the time I handed the lesson over to Jon, I was on a high. Orion COY more or less exceeded the standard they set on Monday. I had them shouting at the top of their voices and their execution of techniques was pretty wicked. When Jon took over, however, to teach some of the material that's more related to Krav Maga than anything... the recruits got a bit sloppy and their agression faded a bit. Still, though, the lesson was a success overall. In between of all of that, Jon told me (in front of Tim) to give Ninja COY a proper briefing that was more in line with what Jon's usual initial briefing covers. And as Jon was giving his half of the debrief to Orion, Tim came up to me and asked me a question. He asked me if Jon was trying to imply that Tim couldn't give good briefings. I simply told Tim that I would not get myself in the middle of anything. The story here is, Tim took Ninja COY for Lesson One on Wednesday... which Jon wanted to do. Jon didn't get to give his initial briefing and watched as Tim, who admitted he was a little off on Wednesday, did things his own way. Hmmm, interesting, non? Anyways, back to Orion COY; after Jon talked to them, Tim also brought up a few points to those jokers and I finished the lesson with a debrief of my own. The result? A resounding round of applause. It felt very good. As we were booking out, Jon and Tim agreed I was getting better and better in my teaching. ROCK ON.

This brings us to today. There were three lessons slated for today. Ninja COY in the morning, Orion COY & Mohawk COY in the afternoon (late afternoon). I was on my own this morning, with Tim saying he'd show up for the lesson (as an assistant) at 1015. So, I worked my magic with Ninja COY. Once again, I was on fire. I even, according to Tim, went a bit too far in terms of the punishment I gave them... but he did stress that I did a good job. However, at the end of the lesson, as I was about to give them Jon's patented briefing about the essence of close combat... Tim stepped in and demonstrated his own prowress. He did so by using me as his crash dummy, heh. I didn't mind; in fact, I found it fun. Especially when he locked me in a triangle choke, and then... an armbar! Yeah, the Ninja recruits loved it. Again, they clapped at the end of the lesson, but I suspect a lot of that had to do with Tim's debriefing. Still, I knew I'd done pretty well with those jokers. They responded much more vigorously than they did in their first lesson. After lunch, Tim and I returned to the bunk and basically crashed for the most of the early afternoon. Reinforcements in terms of other instructors (including my own batch-mate Spencer) joined us, and I quickly briefed him on what he would have to do with Orion COY. The reason I wanted to take Mohawk COY was because I was dead-set on trying to teach them a loaded lesson with maximum success. I knew in my bones that I could do it. I mean, it's not easy having to teach two lessons worth of material in one hour. I, however, was fucking sure I could do it.

And, what happened? I did it. I DID IT. I was fucking phenomenal, if I do say so myself. I didn't even have to punish them until the last twenty minutes or so. But when I did resort to giving them hell, I did so like an absolute badass. I growled and slobbered at them in the manner of a psychotic maniac. During the debriefing, I joked around with them and earned their respect with some excellent commentary on what the uses of the techniques they just learnt were. And my present was... yes, another outstanding round of applause. AND, the look on their faces. I swear, each one of them Mohawk recruits looked like they'd actually accomplished something worthwhile. Which reflected a sense of great pride on me. Oh, and did I mention that one of the Mohawk sergeants gave me the thumbs up when I knocked his men down the first time? I could barely stop myself from laughing!

Annnnyways, that's about it. I've rambled on long enough for today. I feel that I've talked too much about my job on this blog, but the way I see it, this job is my life now. More so since I've stepped up my game over the last couple of days. I find myself more interested in my vocation now. Also, Tim's constant talk of mixed martial arts and his stream of tips on techniques & moves and the way he shares his experiences with the recruits makes me want to emulate him in some way. Jon Lau has his own special initial briefing, but Tim has the wealth of knowledge because he's done so much martial arts training and is even involved in submission grappling nowadays. All in all, I'd say the week hasn't been a total disaster. I've regained my confidence, and this is because I've found an outlet to vomit out all my anger and frustrations out on. The only question is, can I keep the momentum going? We'll see.

OUT.

"a man understands one day that his life is built on nothing... and that's a bad, crazy day."

2006-04-19T19:52:00.000+08:00

I wonder why the public transportion in this country can be so frustrating to us locals, but seem so godly to foreigners. I was talking to this Australian fella on a forum a week ago, and he was practically running out of superlatives when giving praise for our MRT system. Is the state of public transportation that big of a problem in other countries? I mean, I know it's quite shitty in the States... but apparently, it sucks so much that some people will rather take a cab to get to where they have to go, even if it costs ten times more. I guess I should be grateful, but over the years, the MRT has let me down so many times when me getting to work or school mattered immensely. The experiences have left me cynical and jaded.

Today, I had to travel from HQ (Pasir Laba Camp) after having finished my caretaker duties this morning to Tekong, as I had an afternoon lesson to teach. I left PLC at 1025, hoping to catch the 1230 fastcraft to Tekong without any hiccups. Waiting for the bus outside PLC was a bitch. The MRT ride from Boon Lay started off smoothly, and it made me confident that I could reach Pasir Ris by 1145. Which would give me time to buy lunch and consume it on the bus on the way to the Singapore Ferry Terminal. Turns out, I only arrived at Pasir Ris at 1155. I practically ran to the bus stop, hoping that there'd be a bus coming shortly. I was wrong; the fucking bus only showed up at 1207. I was nervous already, and so, kept my fingers crossed about the bus reaching SFT by 122o. For some reason, the bus driver drove like a blind 90 year old woman, and the journey took 20 freaking minutes. DURING A NON-PEAK PERIOD. I just barely caught the fastcraft, but I had to run & quickly exchange my 11B for the visitor pass to grab the last place on the fastcraft.

Speaking of which, I had better get my permanent Tekong pass tomorrow. I will explain why tomorrow (maybe). First, the real juicy stuff. So, okay, I made it to Tekong on time and everything was fine. I was told that I'd conduct the 1330 lesson, which was Lesson Two for Pegasus COY. The catch was, I had to be extra fierce, finish the lesson in one hour, and be scrutinised by SEVEN OTHER INSTRUCTORS. Yes, you read correctly; seven of my seniors would be watching me conduct one measely lesson. Apparently, it takes eight instructors to handle one company's lesson. At least one or two of the seniors, during the course of the lesson, actually helped out. The rest? They sat at one corner for most of the lesson and watched me. I was very keen to impress... and I think I did. They kept giving me the 'thumbs up' signal and positive feedback. I myself think I did a pretty good job, but I kinda flubbed some of the stuff I was saying. Case of the nerves. Not because of the recruits, but because seven of my seniors were standing there, watching me. They were especially adamant that I give the recruits hell at the beginning. To some extent, I didn't really want to punish the poor sods. But they asked for it, in the end. Still, I'd like to be the kind of instructor that doesn't have to keep screaming and punishing my men. I suppose once the seniors of the Tekong Team leave... I'll be able to impose my own brand of teaching. For now, though, I have to play by their rules. Sad, but, hey... what am I to do? I can't complain about it 24/7, right? ;]

Anyways, the 1530 lesson was Ninja COY's first lesson. I was told to just sit back and observe, just to get more of a feel on how to conduct Lesson One. The reason for this is more or less linked to what I talked about in an earlier post, about how I was so pissed about what happened on Monday that I had to fire up this ol' blog of mine to vent out my frustrations. But I digress; Tim taught the lesson, while Chris & Alex gave the 'selection briefing' to those with martial arts background. Basically, during Lesson One, all those with martial arts background will be asked to fall out. They will then be filtered out on just how extensive their martial arts training was, and then once again based on their IPPT standard. From there, the remaining buggers will be told about how there is the need for future instructors, and that if they have the interest, they shall be chosen to go for the selection. Following which, those who performed well will be recommended to the Powers That Be in MINDEF to be posted to PLC to become Close Combat Instructors. Jon Lau joined in the 'selection briefing' for the prospective CCIs since he was 'denied' the opportunity to teach the lesson.

It is here that I must pause and go on a tangent. I know, this post is turning out to be very long... but hell, if you're bored, fuck off. Okay, so, Jon Lau is seriously one of the best instructors I've seen as it pertains to Tekong. He has a certain style and charisma that makes the recruits really listen to him. He also explains the essence of Close Combat extremely well and in practical terms in the initial briefing of Lesson One. He can conduct lessons without ever flaring up. In fact, throughout his entire CCI career, he has only flared up THREE TIMES. That's absolutely incredible, I feel. To be able to teach men of all ranks without having to resort to punishing them? Very cool. However, he's gotten so good at being able to make Lesson One of BCCT so bloody cool and informative that he's very protective of it. He staunchly believes his initial briefing at the start of Lesson One is what will make the recruits fall in love with BCCT; like, it's the be-all end-all of all briefings. Again, this is linked to what happened this past Monday (the fateful MENDAY of 17 April as I will now call it). He's actually very protective of what he wants to accomplish in Tekong before he finishes his service, and this has caused a rift between him & Chris. Chris is indeed Jon's junior, but Chris is the IC of the Tekong Team. So, yeah, ever since Jon Lau was posted to Tekong a few weeks ago (there's nothing for the Course Team to do now), the politics in Tekong has started to escalate. Mainly because Jon and Chris have very differing views on what Close Combat represents.

So, during the selection briefing, the two of them more or less didn't see eye-to-eye in terms of explaining the concept of Close Combat to the probable future CCIs. The recruits asked very engaging questions, including one that I actually agreed with (and is again linked to the fateful MENDAY of 17 April). After the briefing ended, Chris declared that he possibly wouldn't be rating the CCI hopefuls of Ninja COY too highly because of the questions they asked. Jon retorted, saying that it was simply because they were very curious about our vocation. He felt that if he'd been able to give his initial briefing to the recruits, it would have been much better. That is where Jon and Chris were on the verge of breaking out into an argument of epic proportions. Needless to say, there was high drama at Tekong today & the political nature currently rife in the Tekong Team is only worsening.

What does this mean for me? I honestly do not know. On one hand, I agree with Jon. The CCI hopefuls of Ninja COY just had a way of asking intelligent questions that pretty much exposes the flaws of the concept of Close Combat. On the other hand, I agree with Chris that one simple briefing does not determine whether or not the recruits end up caring about what they do during BCCT lessons. Seriously, though, I am more concerned about how I will end up factoring in the whole situation. All I want to do now is to be able to teach lessons with my own style & without my seniors staring me down from the side. Is that too hard to ask?

Why is it, as a junior, I have to be subject to so much bullshit? Why oh why is it so fucked up? Perhaps there is indeed a method to the madness that is the culture of our vocation. The happenings of today only makes me more driven to alter the landscape of the lifestyle I will be subject to until next September. I do not want to end up being the kind of senior that treats my juniors like crap. I want to be able to inspire them and let them flourish on their own. Either way, I have rambled on long enough. I need to take a break from thinking about this now, or it will consume me in the unhealthy way. The only cure for this is... well, dinner. Yay. =]

OUT.

"you think you can just open pandora's box and close it again?"

2006-04-18T19:45:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I'm in camp now. There's not much to do, so I've decided to publish some thoughts to the online community. Today was not really a good day. I mean, it was alright... but the idea of spending a night in a camp that is on the opposite side of the island just flat-out depresses me.

What am I doing in camp, you ask? Basically, I'm doing my monthly duty as the unofficial caretaker of my unit. Every damn day, there is a new caretaker, and his absolute top priority is the maintenance of our fabulous gym. The sacrifice involves us staying overnight until the next morning. It's basically a very brainless job that can get boring at times. Thankfully, in the morning, some of my other batch-mates (the cool ones) were back in camp... so we regailed each other with stories of our respective experiences over the last couple of weeks. I was especially adamant about telling them what a shitty day I had yesterday and how the politics in my neck of the woods (Tekong) is getting to me. Felt good to actually converse with people more or less in the same predicament as me. Of course, from listening to their stories, I feel like I'm worse for wear. Oh well, maybe I'm overreacting just a tad bit. Maybe all I need to do, as I expressed in the last post, is to put in a string of stellar performances when it comes to teaching those bloody recruits. Let's hope that's just it.

In other news, I've finally given my creative juices an outlet to spill over. Wait, that sounded... gross. Bottomline; I managed to expand on one particular idea I had, and in the process, brainstormed a little for a completely new project! Not too shabby, eh? Still, I feel that I should have done more today. Much, much more. And the day is almost over. And tomorrow, I have to go back to Tekong in the afternoon. Also, my Mom's birthday is tomorrow. FURTHERMORE, since my computer is in a coma (since last Thursday), I have to contact HP technical support tomorrow evening. Hopefully, they can fix it by Friday. Good news is, my Dad will be home on Friday... so if the technicians decide to show up, there'll be someone there to usher them to do their job and fix my computer.

Le sigh. That's all for now, I reckon. Getting sleepy, but I have plans to do some stuff tonight before I hit the sack. Which means I could only be sleeping around midnight. Bloody fuckin' hell.

OUT.

"since when do two-bit hoods & hookers give out autographs?"

2006-04-17T23:42:00.000+08:00

Prior to my reluctant enlistment in the Army last September, I was dreading giving up two years of my life to serve. Alas, there was nothing I could do. So, I mentally prepared myself and hoped for the best. Everyday I was in Tekong, I prayed that I could get through the challenges that awaited me without anything bad happening to me. At the same time, I was also getting worried as to what I'd be doing after BMT. Believe it or not, I was hoping I'd end up as a driver or a storeman or something, since it seemed to be pretty laidbacked and relaxed.

Turns out, my intake was the 'leadership batch'. Meaning, we wouldn't be posted to do menial jobs. However, I learned of this vocation that promised freedom in the form of a 8-to-5 lifestyle after about eight weeks of intense training. I told myself that I'd do anything possible to become a Close Combat Instructor. Although I had an interest in martial arts, I wasn't fully immersed in it, and the last time I actually did any sort of martial arts training was about eight or nine years ago. So, I was slightly nervous about my chances of actually getting selected.

Imagine my happiness when I was indeed posted to be a CCI. Without long, the gritty training was what I breathed day in and day out. I was pleased. After a while, however, I came to realise that my unit isn't all that it was cracked up to be. In retrospect, looking back at the 'sales pitch' that I was given during BMT, I've come to understand the art of accentuating the positives of a particular thing. So much so that the negative aspects pale in comparison to the positive benefits, made to look extremely attractive and appealing, making it a sin to ignore or turn down.

My unit, now termed as 'Army Fitness Centre', is one engulfed with politics. Probably not best to reveal so much information here... so, yeah, I'll give it brief. I'll just say that the chain of command in my unit is abused to maximum effect. Those of you who know me will know that I disliked my one-year internship attachment for SHATEC because the office where I worked at was extremely political. As an intern, I had to do a lot of bullshit work. I was treated like absolute crap. And all the while, I had to hear the same excuses about me being an intern and being on attachment and therefore having no choice or any say in any matter.

Now, that I've survived the CCI training phase and become a full-fledged instructor, I am faced with the same bloody problem. As the juniors, I'll have to hear the seniors talk about how much tougher and insane their training was compared to my batch. I'm sorry, I don't mean any disrespect... but if the system has changed, is it MY fault? Is it my fault that the intensity of the training has been toned down in the grand scheme? We still went through a lot of hardship. We still struggled with injuries and nervousness when it came to the gradings. We may not have gotten as much punishment as you guys, okay. I'll admit that. But, again, I ask: is it my fault? Is any of my batch mates to blame for this terrible tragedy?

We get it. We've had it easy compared to you guys. We're grateful for it. I know I am. I'd be very fucking pissed if I'd to do guard duty every other week. So, yes, I'm happy in a way that we didn't have to go through all of that crap. However, I don't think it gives you all free reign to keep harping on it. Like I said, no disrespect intended at all. It's just something that bugging me. I know I can't do a fecking thing to change things and your perspective. Your opinions are your opinions. I'm just venting and sharing my side of the story.

SO, anyways. After passing out from the training phase, we were attached out to our units (but not before participating in a little activity which I shall perhaps elaborate more on when I feel like it). Lucky for me, I got posted to where I wanted to go: back to Tekong. It's near my place, and at the time, the conception was that the package intended for the recruits was very easy to teach. After all, while on course, we had the chance to hone our teaching skills for a couple of weeks... and dare I say, I felt I did a good job in presenting and teaching (the whole process is called 'method of instruction' in CCI vernacular). I'm natural at these sort of things. Of course, I'm always nervous when it comes to public speaking, but once I actually get on stage to do what I have to do, I usually produce excellent results. This was especially true during my SHATEC days. I'm confident about bragging about that. I owned presentations in SHATEC. =D

Now that I've actually gone to Tekong to teach, though, I've found out a couple of things. The entire BCCT package is not that simple to present. Maybe it's because it was so long ago that I did BCCT, or that I only attended three lessons during BMT (I had a recurring knee injury for some time during BMT so I missed out on several things). Or maybe because I was too cocky. I've also found that I'm not very confident in speaking to such a large group of people. Plus, some other stuff. In a nutshell, I'm not impressing my seniors. And it's worrying me. I want to do well in Tekong, so as to stay in Tekong. I want to carve out my own distinctive style, so that people can see what I'm made of. Especially because of my skin colour: like I said, politics in my unit and the general culture lead people to believe that darker skinned people can't do well in anything. Those of you who know me VERY WELL know I abhor the concept of racism (and not just because I'm subject to it at times).

Of course, those of you who know that little tidbit will know that I also like proving people wrong. As stated earlier, I have not been able to impress my seniors with my abilities in Tekong so far. Especially today, where I was just absolutely off-form in the morning. There are a couple of reasons for it. Valid ones! But, upon reflecting, I realise I should stop the rot and quit the blame game, and also look at the situation from another perspective.

This is turning out to be one of those 'dare to be great' situations. Do I settle for mediocrity, doing just enough to pacify my seniors to stop nagging me just a little bit and trusting me slightly more... or do I launch an offensive to prove my mettle? I'm going to go for the latter. I'm going to take the ball, and run with it, and show just what the fuck I'm made of. As I said before, I want 2006 to rock hard.

I want to look back on this year and be proud of what I've accomplished. I want to show certain people in my unit, regardless of rank or race or idealogies, just what they are going to get from this fucker until next September.

OUT.

"yeah, fit as a fucking fiddle."

2006-04-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

Indeed, I am back in the 'scene'. The blogging scene, that is. I got into this crazy fad way before it became something of a local phenomenon; I believe it was in 2003. Yeah, on a site called 'faithless', with a couple of other dudes. The owner was a friend of mine from the States by the name of Brandon Buck. Man, those were good times.

2003, as a matter of fact, was one of the most enjoyable times of my life. Especially the first five to six months. I don't know why, almost everything in my life clicked so well. I haven't really had such a good time since then. One of my resolutions for this year was for 2006 to surpass 2003 in terms of overall experience. So far, I haven't really lived up to that. Especially in one aspect: my writing. Those who know me well will know I'm a passionate writer in many mediums, but I haven't really made the effort to get my writing out into the mainstream. Not that it bothers me, because I think most of my ideas are too radical and racy to be exposed to the local media. No, the thing about me and my writing is that I haven't been doing it regularly enough since late 2004. Mainly due to work at the time. And then, after my work internship ended... I had enlistment to look forward to, so writing wasn't my top priority. Now, though, since my vocational working hours are incredibly flexible, I was hoping to get back in the saddle. I've had a million and five ideas for various projects that I think would turn out pretty well, but for some bloody reason, I haven't gone all-out to expand on them. And it's already the middle of April. Not very productive so far, eh?

Definitely got to do something about that. Me thinks I shall start this week. That is why I'm getting back into the blogging scene, really. To sharpen my writing skills; I know I've gotten very rusty. This isn't like me. I can't stand not being able to express myself through the written word. It's bad enough that I've had to dumb down my speaking style to suit the nature of this soddin' country and its cultures... it's not cool at all.

I shall be back with more ramblings later on. Hungry again, despite the fact that I just consumed my dinner not too long ago. I've got a lot of material to get off my chest. By the by, the title of every post I make shall be a quote from a movie I've yet to watch. Why? It's the uniqueness in me, that's why!

OUT.